My body runs on grace

My body runs on grace now. And caffeine as well.

Week 11 is a happening week. The project deadline on Separations is crowding in, and we're meeting despite mid-terms preparations for next week. My own progress has been particularly slow, and my state of mind is getting more and more blurred by the day. I hope I didn't weigh down the group too much. Thank God for their understanding and patience.

RH bazaar, aka my Aux of the Year falls within this week. It's my favorite aux because a bazaar is interesting to be at in the first place. This year however, OSA has banned the selling of food that is cooked on-spot (think fire hazards and all that), so there were people complaining that they had no food to eat when their stomachs were growling for lunch. I split my 8 hours into 3 days. 2 hours on Monday, 3 on Tuesday and 3 on Wednesday.

The three hours yesterday was quite well-spent. I was there as early as 9 am and most of the vendors were not even there yet. Hence, there were many empty tables and chairs, so I pulled out my notes and started mugging. Obviously, I didn't manage to stay focused for long, but at least I covered a bit of my notes, which was better than nothing. The rest of the time was spent moaning to Jiun Tat (my junior) about how troublesome projects are and how they get into the way of studying, and how lucky he is to be able to escape projects after the revision of syllabus for his coming semester. There was this stall selling laptop skins and keyboard protectors with very interesting designs nearby, so I talked to some juniors about that too, and poked around the Biz Comm stall to see what they were selling. I wish I didn't have such a short attention span!

Since I mentioned caffeine earlier, it is interesting how I managed to survive these days. I took a long afternoon nap on Sunday (around 5 hours because I hardly slept the night before), and after that I didn't sleep till Monday night. I think I spent 5 hours sleeping on Monday night, another 5 today, and I feel strangely alert to stay up tonight as well. Thank God for his grace for my alertness despite so little sleep! Usually I must sleep around 8 hours a day in order to function properly. I haven't been overdosing on caffeine too... maybe just 1.5 cups a day? LOL. And somehow my body doesn't seem to need supper any more. I hope this doesn't mean I'll lose weight again.

There's a performance on Thursday night, meaning my night is gone. My group had finally managed to have a satisfactory practice though. It had been fun practicing with Jia Shen, Jerold, Shanqi and Chuanbo. I doubt that I'll have the chance to play with them again after this. Or play in any other cultural performance for the academic year for this matter. My industrial attachment is really going to take away all the time I have available for practices in hall. Fortunately I would still be able to contribute in Phoenix Times. I like writing for Phoenix, but now I realize that there's so many good writers in RH that I feel I have so much more to learn from them!

The seconds tick by, and the night goes on. Back to my notes I go.

Contentment

After the (relatively) depressing post below, I realized that I need a reminder to be contented with the lot I have. I got that reminder this morning.

I may not have enough sleep, but I am still healthy.

My grades may not be good, but I still get to go into university. And despite of everything negative I say about uni life here, deep down I still enjoy it.

My family may have expectations for me, but they never pressure me. In fact they show they care a lot for me.

I am not a fast learner in school, but then at least I have a chance to learn the things I learn, and many more lessons in life besides.

I may not excel among my peers, but I found good friends in them. Thanks Yew Hong, Mei, Kasun, Gant, and the rest! :)

I may not turn out rich, or have a glamorous job, but God will take care of me.

I may not have everything in the world, but I have Christ, who is more than everything in the world. How can I not be contented? :)

The quote goes: Lack of contentment makes a rich man poor; contentment makes a poor man rich. To me, contentment opens my eyes to behold how rich this poor girl actually is, for in Christ, nothing I lack.

我是非常非常幸福的.

Staying Awake

Argh. I hate dosing myself with coffee each day, and then dosing myself with milk to get more calcium in. I wonder how I spend on coffee each month. Must be a small fortune.

I do not like staying awake four hours a day. Which is what I think I'm going to have to do this week in order to make multiple ends meet. Err. Correction. To try and make multiple ends meet.

I do not like doing my CCA's and thinking that they are a burden. I'm supposed to be enjoying playing in band! But then every time I look at the clock and at the moment practice is over, I feel like leaving straight away. I don't like doing activities for the sake of doing them, but look what I'm doing now.

I have so much lesser hall activities to do this year but I think the free time I have is less than some final seniors who have FYP and still do activities! I don't know if I get to stay in hall at all next year. :(

I don't like not being able to talk to people. Not being able to go out of school to walk-walk. Worrying even about having dinner a tad too long that it will eat into my precious time. Argh Argh.

Ahh Ahh Ahh. I feel like an archi student. I feel like an archi student who has no models to complete but have to finish assignments, tests, lab report, viva and have zero time to prepare for final exam. Goodness knows how my peers do it. Maybe I just do things too slow. Or I have so many things to do it takes so long to decide which to start with first.

Things I have to do within 2 weeks:
1. Write lab report and prepare for viva.
2. Prepare for tests (x2).
3. Rush projects (x2).
4. Cultural performance.
5. Prepare for presentations (x2).
6. Finish assignment (x1).

And for the next three weeks (which overlaps with the week I've mentioned before).
1. Catch up with lectures! Chapters and chapters.
2. Readings! Chapters and chapters. Four big books! :(
3. Tutorials! Arrrrgh. Weeks and weeks.

How. Can. I. Ever. Finish. This. Before. The. Finals?

I don't want my results to be as lousy as the previous sems. But looks like it's turning that way. Just hope it doesn't get worse despite me trading sleep for mugging and so much more.

My results aren't getting any better. I wonder where all this mindless mugging will lead me to.

Another Weekly Summary

It is another of those lame blog post titles again.

It has come to a point where I have to force myself to blog, to find something to write. Otherwise, I'll just rush through everyday without spending much time to reflect.

It it just so amazing that everything just comes forth, new thoughts and reflections, as I just take a little time to sit down and type before the keyboard.

I am actually trying to take a break now from writing one of my project reports. It's supposedly a simple one, and my group mates actually got all the ideas out already, but here I am wasting much time over it. I was trying to decide which format was the best to present it, but ended up using the one I started out with. Then it's re-organizing points and re-phrasing words, to make things sound less conversational. Hopefully I can get it done very soon.

I have found some more blogs to read, and have linked them all up into my reading list. :) I love reading blogs. This year I read blogs belonging to some more well-known bloggers as well as those of people I know. My current favorite is Cheeserland.com. Her writing style is generally amusing and she updates quite frequently.

Week 10 is here soon and the atmosphere is so stifling. I'm trying desperately to catch up with school work and many a time end up falling victim to sleep/sleeplessness. Oh what a messy life this is.

Bible Study last week was fun. :) The message was on Ruth, by John Piper. He said Ruth is a very good example how something really good may come out of a circumstance which showed everything is bad. I don't think I have a right to feel that there's such a circumstance in my life though, because there is always something bright here and there despite all the gloominess. And all this 'gloominess' is actually not very much worth mentioning about. If you tell anyone else, that you're a student, and all you worry about is your studies, I guess it's just a very minor thing. But if it's so minor why do we get stressed up over it?

I guess I should be very thankful that this is what I'm stressed over and not some other overwhelmingly distressing issues like health, family, relationships, and maybe even $$$. But even if it's those, I think somehow there will always be reasons to give thanks, and there will always people who will have been through worse.

I'm in Year 3 now, and I'm still seeking a direction. I wonder where it will lead to. But I know it will be good, though not necessarily easy.