It's week one of my 6th Semester in NUS and I started it downing Panadol pills :(
The headache started on Sunday night when I was back from Kow Fu's house. I didn't know what it was then but yesterday I managed to conclude that it was heat stroke. The cause was rather stupid - I just spent less than a few minutes under the sun (but it was really blazing hot that afternoon), coupled with lack of rest due to room moving and unpacking. I guess I should really have slept instead of unpack my room before going out again at night, but I didn't know it would make me that tired the whole night. It was quite a strain to open my eyes as it got later (but I must say dinner was really superb). And when I was home I was down with a headache, and a body simmering with internal heat.
Monday was worse. Still feeling the heat and headache, couldn't sleep too, though I tried for hours and hours all through the day. Also, a couple of admin issues in school added to the stress, plus other personal stuff. The weird thing about my feeling hot was the heat was all inside me, but my skin was at a normal temperature. It was very bad. I couldn't eat much dinner. I couldn't do work at all, and FYP balloting has to be submitted in two days. :(
Tuesday. Went to Chinatown to buy bus tickets around 9 something in the morning, before they run out. Had breakfast in Chinatown - and again couldn't finish my food AND drinks. (The cleaners must think I'm a horrible food waster or something). Fortunately Chinatown wasn't too far away from NUS... the whole trip back and forth amounted to around 3 hours only. And there were bus tickets left so I could go back home with Yew Hong and friends. Thanks Yew Hong for calling me to give directions, and for replying the tonnes of sms's I sent. :S
After coming back from Chinatown I had a business lecture from 3-6 pm. The lecturer was a handsome German, very friendly too. Once my classmates knew class participation was 25%, there were enthusiastic remarks from beginning to end (especially the SEP students). Me? With phelgm stuck in my throat (yes I was having cough and cold as well), as well as a body both freezing and burning (air-con was cold but I was hot, yet I was shivering), I couldn't bring myself to say (or think of what to say anything at all). In the end what I did was riase a hand indicating that I was the only Malaysian in class, and ask the lecturer one (rather stupid) question at the end of the class. Sigh. But it was a nice course and a nice lecture. Will elaborate about it in other blog posts.
RHOC chose to have an ice-cream party at night - and I had to settle FYP balloting in that very night too. I had to forgo the ice-cream, but Jon did bring a bit up after it ended. What a horrible task it was to just select 15 projects out of 128 and rank them. You might just end up with any of your choices so I don't want to be doing something that results in my tearing of hair, and gnashing of teeth. After a very small dinner (rarrr going to lose more weight) I went to sleep for an hour or so waking up to feel hot all over. The heat had finally moved from inside my body to near skin surface (like typical fever). It was then that I knew I had a heat stroke. It wasn't nice, but I felt quite relieved knowing what it was. I settled the projects after a few hours, feeling rather brain dead. One big load off my shoulders.
I tried drinking 'liang cha' to reduce my body heat, but then it worsened my cough (cough virus is really rampant in NUS now. Even my professor was coughing.) Pei Pa Koa wasn't effective enough. Hence the deadly resort: Panadol, after tossing for an hour or so on bed (poor Tirza, I was quite noisy). And today my temperature is gone. Cough and blocked nose still lingering though. Hope they'll be gone soon enough too. And I do hope my appetite will come back. I couldn't finish the porridge I had for breakfast this morning, and it really wasn't a lot.
I think I haven't really blogged about being sick before. Thank God this is week 1 and all the late night mugging and stuff hadn't started yet. However, there were hall activities like block initiation this week, and I acted really anti-socially, even during hall dinners. :( I will still need to go out to settle some personal issues these few days, so I'm really glad I have no more fever. :) Now I'll work hard to get rid of the cough instead.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
My Autograph Albums
I just saw my two autograph albums which I let my classmates write in when I was in Form 5 and Upper 6 on a heap of books. I was glad that I bothered to start letting people write in those - though it was quite troublesome to keep track of where they went, and who has been keeping it for weeks and never returned them. Those two books made me miss my old classmates so much. Or rather, miss those times when we have been classmates.
I really enjoyed my Form 6 years. The two years where I've started to 'open up' instead being 'unusually quiet' in school, as quoted by my classmates. Actually I don't think I'm that unusually quiet myself, it's just that the people I mixed with during my Form 5 days are generally non-Chinese, and my social circle was indeed a rather small one. I mixed more with the Chinese when I was in Form 6. What else can one do when over 80% of the class were Chinese? That was when they had the impression that I was opening up socially.
It's funny to see how people used to think of you in those years, things that you thought you'd always remember but eventually forget. Everybody used to say that I was freakingly smart but quiet, until I started joining in the Ting Fang kepo gang, and of course, helped the others with their school work. I miss those days in the library when all of us used it as a sort of meeting ground besides the classroom, pore over the revision books inside. And then we as the library committee would have to clean the shelves and rearrange the books. The library was my favorite place in school. I'm not that hardworking myself, but being surrounded by books is a nice feeling. It almost makes you feel more hardworking then you actually were.
My capacity to care for my classmates during those days was so much wider than what I have now. Much deeper and wider. It made me happy to help them, and to talk to them, and to just be with them. University life has changed me so much. The stressfulness, the reminders of my mother not to waste time which still stuck firmly until today, and the competitiveness of my course had contributed to this change. I try to reach out to my friends as I did before, but it was not so genuine, and not as frequent as I would have done in those days. I guess this is what it means to know a person's true colours just by putting them into a tight spot. I failed this litmus test.
People used to try and avoid going through Form 6, but I thought it was a good learning process. To stay for two more years at home before venturing outside. To stretch yourself beyond what you think you can. To have two more years to lead the school in whatever posts you're in (being the eldest in the school). And that part of me, seen through the eyes of my classmates, have been recorded in those autograph albums, as a reminder that there is no time when it is ok to stop serving God, to stop having a big heart, to stop dreaming dreams. There's no end to a life of stress in Singapore, but even when fighting to grow intellectually, there's no use draining all resources to do that, neglecting the need to go spiritually, emotionally, and socially. Easier said then done though.
After looking back, one must look forward. I do with the hope that I can be once again the someone I used to be once upon a time, and even strive to be someone better than that in the future. There is this need to grow in those areas, and I shall draw on God's strength to do it this year :)
I really enjoyed my Form 6 years. The two years where I've started to 'open up' instead being 'unusually quiet' in school, as quoted by my classmates. Actually I don't think I'm that unusually quiet myself, it's just that the people I mixed with during my Form 5 days are generally non-Chinese, and my social circle was indeed a rather small one. I mixed more with the Chinese when I was in Form 6. What else can one do when over 80% of the class were Chinese? That was when they had the impression that I was opening up socially.
It's funny to see how people used to think of you in those years, things that you thought you'd always remember but eventually forget. Everybody used to say that I was freakingly smart but quiet, until I started joining in the Ting Fang kepo gang, and of course, helped the others with their school work. I miss those days in the library when all of us used it as a sort of meeting ground besides the classroom, pore over the revision books inside. And then we as the library committee would have to clean the shelves and rearrange the books. The library was my favorite place in school. I'm not that hardworking myself, but being surrounded by books is a nice feeling. It almost makes you feel more hardworking then you actually were.
My capacity to care for my classmates during those days was so much wider than what I have now. Much deeper and wider. It made me happy to help them, and to talk to them, and to just be with them. University life has changed me so much. The stressfulness, the reminders of my mother not to waste time which still stuck firmly until today, and the competitiveness of my course had contributed to this change. I try to reach out to my friends as I did before, but it was not so genuine, and not as frequent as I would have done in those days. I guess this is what it means to know a person's true colours just by putting them into a tight spot. I failed this litmus test.
People used to try and avoid going through Form 6, but I thought it was a good learning process. To stay for two more years at home before venturing outside. To stretch yourself beyond what you think you can. To have two more years to lead the school in whatever posts you're in (being the eldest in the school). And that part of me, seen through the eyes of my classmates, have been recorded in those autograph albums, as a reminder that there is no time when it is ok to stop serving God, to stop having a big heart, to stop dreaming dreams. There's no end to a life of stress in Singapore, but even when fighting to grow intellectually, there's no use draining all resources to do that, neglecting the need to go spiritually, emotionally, and socially. Easier said then done though.
After looking back, one must look forward. I do with the hope that I can be once again the someone I used to be once upon a time, and even strive to be someone better than that in the future. There is this need to grow in those areas, and I shall draw on God's strength to do it this year :)
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010
It's the first day of the new year and since yesterday, my blogger dashboard has been filled up with entries with themes that sum up the last day of the past year, and (optimistic) new entries regarding year 2010. :) Sadly, the only time that I feel that a 'new year' is here is during August, when it is a start of a new academic year for me. Sigh. It is horrible the way my life is still centered around studies (psychologically, I'm not mugging away now) even when it's holidays and it's a start of a brand new year!
I don't have much go blog about my new year resolutions and such - because I've been too lazy to make any, and prefer to take things one step at a time. The new year does have a small degree of impact on me though. It makes me feel a year older (though by the time you're past 21 you don't really feel your age on you anymore, it just goes on and on), and it does give a tint of hope that this year your life will be better - change of outlook and all. I've been rather a spiritual failure in 2009 and have gotten myself in a mess here and there. I do hope for a change in that area this year.
I'm verbally translating pastor's message from English to Chinese again, and I feel that the results would be much, much better if I had to do it the other way round. Singapore is, I'm ashamed to say, turning me into a banana. For the sake of those who don't know what 'bananas' are, it simply means yellow on the outside, but white inside - a Chinese that doesn't know Chinese. The environment around me is so minimally Chinese (at least in the spoken and written sense), that I've hardly been using it at all. And it's so much faster to type in English! Fortunately I have pastor's notes with me a little earlier, and it's not too hard to translate this time.
CORS bidding is here - the bidding system which we're supposed to use some points to secure our university modules. The modules I intend to take are surprisingly unpopular at this point of time, meaning the vacancies are more than the number of students bidding for them. However, I fear the usual 'last minute rush' where bids pour in at the last minute, bringing the bid points of certain modules sky high. And it's so hard to decide which final year project to pick and ballot for!
I guess my brain is really on holiday now. Usually I do not have to think much while blogging and the thoughts just flow. Today it's stuck in stages. Oh well, may it get the well-required rest it deserves before the coming semester :) Will blog more when I get the train of thoughts unplugged!
I don't have much go blog about my new year resolutions and such - because I've been too lazy to make any, and prefer to take things one step at a time. The new year does have a small degree of impact on me though. It makes me feel a year older (though by the time you're past 21 you don't really feel your age on you anymore, it just goes on and on), and it does give a tint of hope that this year your life will be better - change of outlook and all. I've been rather a spiritual failure in 2009 and have gotten myself in a mess here and there. I do hope for a change in that area this year.
I'm verbally translating pastor's message from English to Chinese again, and I feel that the results would be much, much better if I had to do it the other way round. Singapore is, I'm ashamed to say, turning me into a banana. For the sake of those who don't know what 'bananas' are, it simply means yellow on the outside, but white inside - a Chinese that doesn't know Chinese. The environment around me is so minimally Chinese (at least in the spoken and written sense), that I've hardly been using it at all. And it's so much faster to type in English! Fortunately I have pastor's notes with me a little earlier, and it's not too hard to translate this time.
CORS bidding is here - the bidding system which we're supposed to use some points to secure our university modules. The modules I intend to take are surprisingly unpopular at this point of time, meaning the vacancies are more than the number of students bidding for them. However, I fear the usual 'last minute rush' where bids pour in at the last minute, bringing the bid points of certain modules sky high. And it's so hard to decide which final year project to pick and ballot for!
I guess my brain is really on holiday now. Usually I do not have to think much while blogging and the thoughts just flow. Today it's stuck in stages. Oh well, may it get the well-required rest it deserves before the coming semester :) Will blog more when I get the train of thoughts unplugged!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Internet Defamation
Certain issues drove me to google this term, and I did learn that it could be used in a very interesting way. Apparently 'defamation' can be used to term people even when what is 'defamed' is true. I guess it's the nature of the action itself. Defaming.
Long ago I made a promise to this blog not to tarnish it in content by defamation. To keep things clean - because I witnessed first hand how defamation hurt someone and almost broke a friendship - even when that person was unnamed. There was once when I actually did something like that on Facebook - (person unnamed of course) and I immediately cleared things off the screen two seconds after. It was just not worth it.
That's why even when I become an object of internet defamation, I just decided not let it bug me at all. The defamation is the worst offense, and yet it is the best defense. Just by its being there. So there's no need to say much more. Guess most people would understand if they think through these lines carefully. And in the end when you want to let things go when the sun sets, they go easier, instead of the hard way when you have to clear more thorns in front of you before letting go. I guess I do take things the easy way out, as always!
So yes bloggie, this post is to renew the promise I made to you, no internet defamation, be it of an individual or an organization. After all, some things are yours and you treasure them too much to let it be defiled with words. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword. It wounds a commoner as ruthlessly as the most evil soldier. And when it wounds in the public, it does affect even more people than it did before. (And that's why I never allow myself to write when I'm really emo. Guess I'm still on the emo side now so I wonder how much poison is still currently in my pen while I'm blogging this.)
There are even more things I never allowed myself to post up here (or even in my private blogs). I do put high priority on my blog and writings and do realize that whatever reasons I write them down for, what I write I remember forever, and they do change my outlook of life a lot (especially when I read my archives). That's why I was so glad that my year one posts were all positive ones. Sometimes I think I would have died from NUS stress if not for my year one personnel who blogged and channeled all needed hope into my year 3 future. (Weird, is it not?) Thank God for that. Maybe I'll need even more of that, when I go out to work.
Now I've deterred from the topic I started off with, and leave of with the theme that the blog actually makes a person, if you're somebody like me who reads archives a whole lot, that is. So yep, do be careful of what you blog about, especially when you rant.
p/s: Oh! Oh I found this link on Wei Lun's blog and it's one of the primary school kids in church - he's actually blogging! You big Kor Kor's and Jie Jie's who don't blog are losing out to him! :) The posts are quite funny and wacky, but my point is, he's actually blogging, and in English too!
Long ago I made a promise to this blog not to tarnish it in content by defamation. To keep things clean - because I witnessed first hand how defamation hurt someone and almost broke a friendship - even when that person was unnamed. There was once when I actually did something like that on Facebook - (person unnamed of course) and I immediately cleared things off the screen two seconds after. It was just not worth it.
That's why even when I become an object of internet defamation, I just decided not let it bug me at all. The defamation is the worst offense, and yet it is the best defense. Just by its being there. So there's no need to say much more. Guess most people would understand if they think through these lines carefully. And in the end when you want to let things go when the sun sets, they go easier, instead of the hard way when you have to clear more thorns in front of you before letting go. I guess I do take things the easy way out, as always!
So yes bloggie, this post is to renew the promise I made to you, no internet defamation, be it of an individual or an organization. After all, some things are yours and you treasure them too much to let it be defiled with words. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword. It wounds a commoner as ruthlessly as the most evil soldier. And when it wounds in the public, it does affect even more people than it did before. (And that's why I never allow myself to write when I'm really emo. Guess I'm still on the emo side now so I wonder how much poison is still currently in my pen while I'm blogging this.)
There are even more things I never allowed myself to post up here (or even in my private blogs). I do put high priority on my blog and writings and do realize that whatever reasons I write them down for, what I write I remember forever, and they do change my outlook of life a lot (especially when I read my archives). That's why I was so glad that my year one posts were all positive ones. Sometimes I think I would have died from NUS stress if not for my year one personnel who blogged and channeled all needed hope into my year 3 future. (Weird, is it not?) Thank God for that. Maybe I'll need even more of that, when I go out to work.
Now I've deterred from the topic I started off with, and leave of with the theme that the blog actually makes a person, if you're somebody like me who reads archives a whole lot, that is. So yep, do be careful of what you blog about, especially when you rant.
p/s: Oh! Oh I found this link on Wei Lun's blog and it's one of the primary school kids in church - he's actually blogging! You big Kor Kor's and Jie Jie's who don't blog are losing out to him! :) The posts are quite funny and wacky, but my point is, he's actually blogging, and in English too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)