Miss This Song

I saw a video of this year's RH choir aca in Facebook and thought of my own RH choir aca pella experiences. We sang this song 我们的故事 (translation: Our Story), by Tension. Well, of course not as well as this version here (this is not the aca version). But I like the version here in this MV (not the MV itself, I think it's quite bad, spoils the song). And the lyrics are wonderful! Perfect song for friendship, or even budding love that awaits continuition. Can't stop listening to it since yesterday.

在你左右
还有多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重

握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走要记得~~~

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃因为有一天缘份会继续

我知道你寂寞
一个人确实好难过
思念是一种痛
没有你叫我怎么活
身边充满诱惑
不坚定就容易犯错
你是否能看见未来的收获
你愿意在耐心等候

我们的故事真难忘太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂我愿意一生收藏
我们的故事不能忘太多的情节要发展
不要放弃因为有一天缘份会继续
让我们一起演完

I miss those aca days although they took up so much time I couldn't afford. I miss singing with Wayne, Cao Cao, Swee Yee, Hui Yi, Yu Xiang, Bo Sheng, HuX and Gant. And this song makes me think of Wayne because he flew back to Hong Kong! And of Cao Cao, HuX, Yu Xiang, Bo Sheng because I seldom get to see them any more as they are not in hall. And it reminds me of all the friendships I have lost, people I see in Facebook, but I am no longer physically connected to their social lives.

There's a version of us singing that song in Youtube but I'm not going to put that up here because the quality is quite... inferior haha. And I know my too-high and too-bright voice has a big problem blending into the team. Thanks Jerome for videoing. (I miss your blogs too.)

我们的故事不能忘太多的情节要发展
不要放弃因为有一天缘份会继续

I love these lines :) They carry hope.

Learning Experiences

I suddenly feel like I want to change my blogger blog template. But so far I can't really find one that makes me go 'wow'! I'm a bit bored of the current one although it's all pretty and cute and all. I like it, really, but somehow I think it's a bit too far on the cute end for me. :)

I like my business modules this year. They are quite psychological, and they sort of bring out the best in me. We're doing a video project on improving people's life this year, worth 35%. Somehow during group discussions I managed to lead quite a bit, induce topics for discussions, and build on my knowledge of emailing and contacting relevant organizations. Also, I get to work with different people too, those that I totally don't know. (Same for my lab group - I just got to know my lab partners today. Thankfully all of them are nice.)

The first half of a biz module I'm taking is on leadership training, and through the case studies I'm doing I get to reflect on traits of myself, both as a person and as a leader, understand why I do certain things and how I can go far. Usually I thought biz modules (at least the conceptual parts) are just lots of theory and crap, but this is the first time that I get so much from reflective learning. :) For example - leadership is not just leading people to goals, it's imparting influence so that people would want to get to that goal. That is true. Farid used to impart the concept that jamming is fun, and it's nice to learn new things. Shu Shan (my ex-Choir MM) gave us the impression that singing is the happiest thing, and it doesn't matter what quality comes out, the most important thing is to enjoy the process. And Sem (this year's Band MM) made us all realize that it is a previledge to be one of the best cultural groups in hall, and that we're going to go far no matter what.

We also learned traits of successful managers: self confidence, have high energy levels, be able to tolerate stress, good internal locus of control, emotionally mature, has integrity, cares for social good, has a moderately high achievement orientation and low need for affliation. Hah! I just realized that as a worker/leader/person etc, my need for affliation is really quite high. Just yesterday one of the basketball players approached me (in a nice way) and told me that my articles lacked pictures, interviews, and used the wrong jargon. Although I knew all these things all along, it still made me feel bad because I was not able to produce something good (and might have offended people along the way). This thing unconsciously stayed with me the whole day until the said basketball player replied my email in a very encouraging way, and it makes me want to write better for my remaining articles. I do care a lot about the way people look at me. Maybe a little too much.

On top of that I also learned how important conceptual skills are to a leader (or to anyone). Making good judgemen, having foresight, intuition, creativity, and be able to find meaing and order in things, and indentifying complex patterns in relationships. As a worker, it is good to have transferable skills (things you bring with you no matter which company you work with), as compared to non-transferrable ones. Conceptual skills, and interpersonal skills are what individuals should seek to develop, to increase their individual values as employees. There's a hundred and one other stuff that I did learn, and am excited about, but I guess I won't go too deep into those. Oh did I mention that the lecturer is tall and handsome, with blue eyes? That's another plus point isn't it? :)

Lab today ended late, kind of a bad start for the term. This is the first time the TA's actually abandoned us, and left us to fend on our own (which is actually what we should have learned to do long ago). So we spent eons figuring out what to do and why, until the TA finally dropped a tip or two. But I was quite satisfied with the experience, because even in a Kasun-less lab I finally managed to figure out concepts on my own, and help my group mates in discussion! Else I'll be relying on Kasun the whole time to explain things to me and understand how the machine works. (The only things he can't explain are bio-related). So I'm more independent now! :)

FYP readings are going along better now. It turned out that I have started with the heavy bulk of the readings, and the remaining ones are quite repetitive and lighter to absorb. Hopefully I can start doing the FYP proper next week! I would miss my Friday off-days a lot though. :(

The Integral Factor

I just read a friend's blog: Someone else had a problem and had seen my friend was too 'spiritual' because he kept bringing in God during their talks. Note: Person with problem is a Christian.

I always wonder some times Christians think it's 'fake' to include God as part of how you're going to solve your problem. Isn't God like the most integral factor of our lives? And without His will, and depending on Him, there's no way you'll totally be able to get out of whatever hole you're in.

Maybe it's the way that God is casually, and thoughtlessly portrayed with light 'Don't worry God is there to help you', or 'just pray and it will work out'. It's not what is said that's wrong. It's the way it's being said. If you ask the person not to worry because God will help, do you yourself truly believe that God is there to help so-and-so, or you just want to sink his/her burdens at the back of your mind, so it doesn't become a shared burden?

Sometimes when we hit a blank wall, up is the only way out. And praying although seemingly passive is a display of faith and dependence. God is a way out of problems - and sometimes the problems are there so that we draw nearer to Him. It's crucial to depend on Him to get out of tight spots - but that's not the main thing. The tight spots are not the focus, the dependence and growth in spiritual character is. To eventually to depend on God in everything, even when you're not in any precarious situation.

God is the way of life. No matter what we look for in a period of crisis - understanding, love, support, help, He is all of those. How can we push Him aside and hope to get through a dark period on our own, or on the basis of something else?

And the days roll by...

It's a typical NUS semester. Time passes so fast that before I know it it's end of week three.

Things I'm doing now:

1. Catching up with my readings! I'm trying very hard to understand my FYP readings, but I guess I can't go too far until I've actually seen and tried the work. My professor will be contacting me to start work soon. Hopefully I'll be ready to do it by then. I'm still not even half-way through the readings. The efficiency level is so low. I'm trying to catch up with my other readings and am doing OK so far. I wonder how it will be like once lab and project meetings kick in. The horrors ahead! It is better to remain at a state of bliss as of now.

2. IHG articles. Witnessed another winning match today when our table tennis girls played against KE7. It was so close, and I today was really a day of realization - I found that I actually, in a way, liked to do match write-ups, simply because it created a new shared experience between myself and the players. I'm always so very detached from the sports teams in hall, that I have almost nothing to relate with them at all (except hear Kasun talk about handball during labs). Now I'm putting down what they do on paper, and some of my own observations and thoughts too. Our hall sports is doing so much better this year - guess there'll be a severe problem of point inflation at the end of the year! But somehow I'm not that worried, though I should be, considering my passive involvement in hall the past sem, and this current sem.

I used to think team sports are those that show the most team spirit, and are most tactical and dangerous (people getting hurt and running around and all). I think that they are harder because they need the most stamina too. But after watching table tennis, I realized that non-team sports (table tennis, badminton, tennis, squash, etc) have their own form of challenges too. All eyes are on just you and your opponent and the mental pressure you face must be so intense, because all the responsibility of winning or losing rests on your shoulder alone. A lot of quick thinking and observation of the opponent's movements must be done throughout this period of tension too.

IHG writing is quite a new experience for me - it has brought about many thoughts. I guess we just need to keep on trying new things to have new insights in life, small as they may be.

3. Preparing keyboard lessons for Shan Qi. It's a band thing - we're supposed to teach and learn, and so far, I haven't really been sharing my knowledge, whatever little of it there is. I asked both him and Hwee Shan to give me some learning objectives they wish to achieve through whatever I teach them, and once again, Shan Qi didn't fail to impress me. He already knew what he was looking for, and stated those things in detail. His outlook and thirst for learning was so professional, it made me feel like I'm almost not worthy to be teaching him. While he strives for improvement as a keyboardist or pianist, I am complacent at the standard at which I am currently at. I guess this teaching experience would be one of learning for me, as I continually observe the attitude of my juniors, and realize what are the things that make one go far, and ultimately excel.

4. Bible study. Simon talked about the fall of the walls of Jericho from a very interesting perspective. Why did Joshua curse whoever rebuilds Jericho? Jericho being situated in a very strategic position -was extremely economical for Israel. It was even a gateway into Canaan. Its walls could fortify their defence, it's potential for trade could boost their wealth. It was their first claim from the land of Canaan before many others. Why was Jericho not to be used to Israel's advantage, not to be rebuilt?

Firstly, it was the concept of 'first fruits'. Joshua and his army presented Jericho as a sacrifice to God as a first fruit - giving Him the first and best they had, not using it for their own profits. Also it was a sign of faith - their dependence was on God, not on the walls or wealth of Jericho. Not on themselves, for they had nothing, all was from God.

I love the reminder of giving up the first fruits to God. Prioritizing is so hard, and it's often so tempting to keep the best time and best gains for myself, to study, to do hall activities, to make me one a person of better quality in so many ways. But God wants the first fruits, so that He can continue to bless. He deserves the first fruits, to be held in Priority Number One, for He is so much, yet no less than that. In relationships, in working life, in school life, in every aspect. No one else can claim the throne, nor rob that that belongs to him. I do hope that I'll bear this in mind and give God the first fruits, the most precious things I can offer - time, love and faith. Not to hall, not to men, not to my studies nor the hopes of anyone else. I pray that I can be able to do that.

5. Shopping. I just went grocery and stationary shopping. I love shopping because there are so many things to see, but even in a place as small as Clementi, I have to brace all my mind and will to clearly differentiate my needs and wants. Most of the time I succumb to some of my wants, but I make sure that whatever I buy is really cheap, and in a way it's what I need too. I guess I'll have to get ready myself for this especially in the first two years of working life. Budgets have to be small and tight, and only needs can be entertained. Save, save, save! :)

That's all for today. Will continue to update next week.