Goodbye July, Hello August

I guess I won't be blogging in my Windows Live Spaces blog for quite some time. It cannot be loaded properly. Can't even reply to comments.

The last week of July just ended and here is the first week of August (cum my last week of hols). My last summer holiday has just ended. The next time I'll have a summer holiday like this probably when I retire from work.

To everyone who made my birthday a memorable one, thank you so much :) Thanks for all the Facebook and text messages. Thanks for the celebrations at home and the birthday gifts. Thanks to RH peeps and alumni for coming over to Block 4 kitchenette and getting me prezzies and ice-cream cake. Thanks to my three MSD south fellow interns who prepared the big doggie card :) Thanks Stacey and Justin for remembering me.

23 does feel rather old. But I've stopped counting the years. Better count the blessings than count the years and wrinkles and white hair (though I haven't come to that yet).

Went home last weekend, and Daddy brought two sport shoes for me to replace my cracking old-faithful which has started to have holes at the bottom too. I like my new shoes. Went through a chapter of Mable's biology with her - nervous system and coordination. Funny how I remember my Form 5 bio better than last semester's school work. I really must have put in a lot of effort back then. I wish I could do that now, but it seems like its hard to get enthusiastic when you're not aiming for 11 A1's. I'm glad I went through that Biology chapter. Besides getting the satisfaction of successfully drilling concepts into my sister's head (and seeing her reproduce all the funny drawings), it reminded me how wonderful it felt to study, and to have studied well. I have lost that feeling.

It has already been 1 month working in MSD West (or Schering Plough). Work is getting stagnant. I briefly talked to a new intern from NTU today. It reminded me how lost I felt a month ago, going around the plant to find people I never knew of. It was then I realized how considerate my supervisor had been. She gave very detailed instructions for me to navigate in plants I've never been to; checked with the security to grant me all the door access I needed; and taught me where to print out the whole telephone directory of the plant. The intern I met was not equipped with all these and she was rather lost. I was glad to be of assistance :)

Had lunch in MSD South last Friday. The bus driver was kind enough to ferry me and a few colleagues there, so I met up with Mei and the rest of the interns, some which I knew, and some which I didn't. We're going to meet up for dinner again tomorrow at City Hall. A celebration before school starts and we start rolling in stress and work again. It made me feel happy to meet them, yet lonely remembering that I was the only intern in my office. But then again I was thankful to have met the many senior colleagues I wouldn't have talked to otherwise if I had a firm clique of my own to start with once I stepped into the company.

Tonight we had our annual formal dinner in RH. I performed, probably for the last time, with Andrew, Jing Hong, Shawn and Jon. I never really enjoy performances, for I do not really like the stress of being under the limelight. But I love practices, and I love the sound of the songs we practiced and improvised ringing in my head during work hours. Playing with a team is so different from playing alone. Besides having my mistakes covered (a very important thing!), it broadens my dimension of piano playing somehow, to incorporate the sound of strings, to bring out the heart of different songs. I fell out of love with CME last year. Performing was a responsibility, something mundane that 'must be done', something that only brought a slight, occasional joy. It is so wonderful how good leaders can bring out the best in people. :)

I will still be in CME, though I don't think I am willing to commit to performances again. I'll be around to jam, to see the new members play, and maybe to teach willing learners basic ways of playing by ear and improvising. Shan Qi was a great encouragement last year, and I wish to interact with more juniors like him - so that we can learn from each other.

I don't understand why people want to live and die for music, why it is such a burning passion to them. But I do understand the simple joy of being appreciated, when people actually listen while you play, when they care enough to say 'good job' for those minutes on stage where hours of practice lie behind. I also enjoy the bonds of 'kindred spirits' as Anne of Green Gables would put it, as we strive together to present our very own translation of a song we play together.

This Friday evening heralds the coming phase of my life as a final year. My FYP professor is meeting up myself and Mei to discuss his new research paper. We are assisting him with the literature review, and here is a chance to learn more about the project we've doing the past half year. With this extra load, next semester is going to be heavy. But the more new experiences, the more worthwhile my uni life would be. I think the next 4 months are going to be exciting ones! And maybe by next week, I'll finally feel like a Final Year. Not feeling that yet for now. :p Oh well, it wouldn't hurt to let this state of bliss (or denial, whatever you call it) continue for a few more days.

Wallflower

I really do feel quite like a wallflower at work, mainly because I'm lunching with a group of more senior colleagues. They are all nice ladies, and kind too. They try to include me in their conversations, but it's either I cannot catch on or don't know what to say. So I sit there and eat quietly, or smile and make a remark occasionally.

I feel that we could have a good conversation if there's just 2-3 of them at a table. But a group of 6 (with me 7), is rather hard for a newcomer (and an intern at that) to be talkative.

However, I'm really thankful for their presence in the office - at least it makes me feel that I know more people :) And they share the food they make and stuff like that too. Generally their conversations are quite diverse and un-shallow, which makes it fun to listen. I appreciate the fact that they do talk as normal when I'm with them, instead of hushing up sensitive topics.

I don't know how I really got to join them for lunch. It all started when my two other colleagues (now working shift and unable to lunch with me) were late one day, and then I saw this nice lady that I chatted to in the lift sitting alone. She was from the office next to mine. So I asked if I could sit down too. And lo and behold, more of them appeared and that made 7 people! But then I kept on joining them all the same.

Schering-Plough do have very nice workers. There was this lady who was driving a yellow car from one plant to another, and stopped to fetch me when she saw me walking with an umbrella in that direction. She had never seen me at all. In fact she was working in a different plant. However she was very friendly, and nice to chat with. She showed me another way into my plant, and there we parted. My greatest regret was: I forgot to ask her name. I will remember to ask for people's names next time. Usually after I do that I double check the spelling on my telephone directory list to enforce my memory. It's always good to remember people's faces and names :) It makes them closer to you in a way, and somehow it makes me feel I belong.

I do wish I'm less of a wallflower. But wallflowers do appreciate kind people, so the main purpose of writing this is to remind myself that there's such a nice group of people in my office who were willing to try their best to make me part of them, and generously share the company and food they have; at least in that one-hour we have lunch together everyday. :) Hopefully I'm not too much of a bore, and would be able to open myself up soon.

Won Over

God's love and grace never left my home. Every knot is getting untied slowly but surely. We used to be such a family of problems. But now, I'm so glad that we are different, although it's such a long journey. And the journey still goes on, but in the end, Love wins. Thank God for today. Thank God for love and grace.

And I want to say I'm so proud of someone and I hope I could always be proud of her like this :)

Returning a Favor

This is the mysterious blog of my Mysterious Senior. Haha. Too bad I can't return the favor in the 'kua zhang' way you did to promo my blog, but this is the best I can do! I don't know how to get the picture thingy done. =p

By the way, the prospects of getting a hand-written thank-you note is exciting. Hmms :)

More work updates: I've finally gotten briefed about my project! :) Still carrying on with the admin work as usual along with that. Wai Pheng's people and paperwork skills that I picked up from the Staff Club days as well as during OMC worked well. Thank God for her good example.

And I had a CME practice two days back! True it wasn't like the good old days when we were a crowd, but just Andrew (conductor), Jinq Horng (violinist), and Shawn (cellist), with me was fun enough. Jon might be joining with the bass too. I miss Farid especially during this time. Andrew reminded me of Farid's spark of passion for CME when he was here (and how he egged me to be the next Chairperson after him). I'm so glad Andrew is taking over CME. And I'm happy to be playing again!

Somehow I never get myself out of CME although I always intended to. In Year 1, I wanted to overload Unplugged, but got into CME. In Year 2, I wanted to quit CME and try something new, but got psycho-ed by Farid plus other seniors to Chair it instead! In Year 3, the members of CME was pitifully few, and as ex-chairperson, what else could I do but help out right?! And even in my final year, I'm performing for orientation! But I do enjoy it, our songs and practices are smashing! LOL. I sound so enthu.

I still haven't gotten used to the 6 am plus wake hours, so I need to sleep soon. Ta :)