Here's that metaphor we always, always hear in talks but never seem to remember. In case you haven't been to such talks/sermons/read about this, this is the story on the black dot.
If the image above is a sheet of paper that looks like what it looks like, and I hold it up to you asking, "What do you see?", almost everybody, (with exception of those who probably read this analogy in some form or other before, will answer - a black dot.
That little black dot is probably just 1% of the whole paper, which is otherwise made of white space. Yet, somehow or other, it seems so representative of what that whole paper is.
Today, there are many black dots in our lives. Just with regards to people, there are always bad apples sprouting out of every tree. You can't expect everything to be spectacularly white, you can't help the bad eggs popping up here and there. Those things are just outside your sphere of control. What is within your sphere of control are two things:
1. First, don't be that bad egg. And be thankful if you aren't. Just think of yourself as being thought of as a bad egg. That's worse than having to cope with one. If those bad eggs have anything to be pitied about, that's about the biggest thing there is.
2. Secondly, don't be affected by that bad egg so much, until you neglect/affect the other eggs. For example, project groups, the most significant issue I'm facing now. Today I'm just thankful for one of those other good eggs, who said, I'll help you cope if you have to pick up the mess from the bad eggs. Thank God for those bad eggs who made me realize how nice the good ones were! And to learn to appreciate the good ones more. It is always worse to let good things pass you by unnoticed, than to have to notice bad ones (hope I am clear here). Appreciate the good eggs. And most importantly, don't let those negative emotional vibes affect them until they feel negative too! Especially if everything could actually be completed without involving the bad eggs. Why then let them spoil the meal?
3. Thirdly, check if the eggs are really bad. Some eggs are just bad in certain ways but good in others. Some may seem to be bad all over, but it never hurts to leave just some room for good will to last. You never know when you need it.
The third point is actually very important because I find that there's always nothing to lose from doing that. So what if people are all out to 'use' you and get you? I grew up all through my school years with hardly any feelings of being used. There are some who say, you are a lucky one, all your friends are sincere (or at least not devious), they don't take advantage of you. It was up to a point that I wonder whereby this blissful situation was a realistic one or one merely perceived by myself. But perceiving things in a positive light is probably better than probing way down the roots and drawing your (very depressing) conclusions. At least it leaves you space to be kind to others, and to think the best of people. And you don't know who's ways you could change just by acting that way.
Some people may think that acting that way is going to make a person lose out in life. So what should you do if someone is treating you like a footstool to clamber his way to the top? To answer this question you may want to define 'the top'. If fame, fortune and accomplishments add up to 'happiness', you'd probably be a happier person than he is, but not at his expense. What could be better than that?
So don't forget there's the big white space at the background! And when you can't change anything, the only thing you could do is to change your own mindset. And that is a very big change indeed. Just like a drop of water in the calm ocean, you don't know how far the ripples can go. Both the good ripples, and the bad ones.
