At Home

I'm now at home and am sort of doing my job applications from here.

I said sort of because there are not many jobs to apply for now. Yes, the job market is 'booming' now but most of the openings I see for my field are for diploma graduates. And no, they'd not hire a uni grad to do something that can be easily done by a post-diploma grad. It would be too expensive.

Anyway - I shall just wait and see :) Hopefully our choice of accommodation in Singapore would be determined soon. I shall miss being Tirza's roomie so I hope we will get to bunk together once in a while.

I shall miss BS with Simon in Singapore too. And the BS regulars - Stacey, Justin, and JonC. The Romans journey was most inspiring and life-changing. It was inspiring to see how Simon pulled through it too. Despite immense stress at work and dwindling number of BS participants. I am really thankful for his faithfulness and testimony.

Yesterday I was just singing Amazing Grace to myself. I love all the four stanzas in that song. Usually I'd focus on the first and second, because I'd relate to them. But yesterday I remembered the fourth:

When we've been there ten thousand years,

Bright shining as the sun;

We've no less days to sing God's praise,

Than when we've first begun.

I love the way I felt the composer thought - he wanted to sing God's praise through eternity and joyfully reassured that he would be able to do so. First he was grateful for his salvation, and then he was glad that he was saved so that he could glorify God all the way to eternity.

Yes we have been beautifully and wonderfully saved. We have not just been redeemed from sin and death, but more amazingly, Christ now lives in us. That itself is beyond undeserved grace. Just redemption from sin is beyond deserving but Christ living in us, unworthy earthen vessels is more than one deserves.

And I love Pastor Jason's well-used analogy: A child asked his parent:" If Christ is bigger than the universe, and He lives in us, shouldn't He stick out?"

I pray that Christ be magnified in my life.

Let Go

No emotions are too hard to let go in light of what He has done for me. I shan't rant and complain. I shan't moan and sigh. I shan't hide it away. I shall take it out, shake it away, and let it go. What I can't control, He can.

I am bigger than that. My heart is bigger than that. For it is Christ that is in my heart, and it is Christ who lives in me.

Vacation hunting for Vocation

Two years ago someone was down in the dumps because he couldn't find a job. I remember trying to encourage that person while secretly thinking if that will be me after another two years.

Today I attended an interview. It was a nice interview. The interviewer was very kind and understanding but she told me point straight that I wasn't suited for the job. It was my personality and it was the direction I was aiming towards. I think I agree with her. That's why I always make it a point not to hide things from my interviewers or become someone who is not me when being interviewed. It's OK to get a job in the short run, but not really OK to be unhappy in it in the long run.

I know it's necessary to think long-term when looking for a job as well as short-term (gain experience first). Where would I want to head like 5 years down the road? Would this job bring me there?

I have another interview tomorrow. I wonder how it would turn out too. But I am not worried. It's all in the hands of the Lord. He will give me the right job. And He will turn down the wrong ones too and praise Him for that.

Things are so uncertain now. But then again, my IA experience was really a comfort to me. I went to SP not expecting anything, but they accepted me as an intern. And the position was really in something I could do well and learn much in. It's really all in His hands.

However, today we must be realistic. Although i want to learn things in work, not every job would be able to give me that opportunity. In fact most of them can't. It's just mere routine. I must learn to accept that.

But I do want to work somewhere where I can learn, grow, in technical knowledge. I want to work somewhere with people too, where I can learn from them, give and take, and interact. To work with nice, and easy-going people who make your day a joy. To work with difficult people and become someone stronger. I want to be somewhere where I can contribute.

I know I will find that job. It's just out there :)) But it will find me one day. Because God will lead me to it!

Exams Over

My exams were over last Saturday. So now I can really say goodbye to the academic portion of my NUS life. However, I am still jobless, and will still need to attend interviews.

Tirza says that if I have to work, it would be only meaningful to choose a job that I really like (OK this is paraphrased, hope I didn't distort the meaning of it). Sadly the industry that I would like to be in is not really hiring in bulk. I can do other jobs, but I would only like to work if 1) I can learn things from a job, and 2) I am capable/ competent in performing the job well.

Sometimes I feel apprehensive to start a career in a non-pharmaceutical field. Because even if I have a chance to move back there later, I would need to start from scratch after many many years. But I would really love to get a chance to work in this field. It fits my character, and it would carry much meaning.

However, without a good honours, one cannot be picky, no? Sometimes you get to do what you love, but other times, you just need to love what you do.

Maybe one day, I'll just put down everything and chase my dreams opening a boardgames cafe in Singapore (may the board games heat among the Singaporean (and non-Singaporean) youth live forever!). Then I'll get to play every single day :)

Maybe one day, I might do a Masters in Business too. IF I could.

But now, it's time to be realistic, to be humble, and to accept whichever door God opens. Thank God for the interviews I got this week :) Hope to learn much from them.