Reading News

Yesterday I just discovered that The Star Online has news in Malay too.

It's been a long time since I've read proper articles in Malay. And I was rather shocked by the fact that some words already seem foreign to me. Words that I could spout automatically when essay writing during Form 5 days (my Malay deteriorated rapidly when I was in Form 6, both spoken and written). Very common words like 'gejala', 'menonjolkan', 'masyarakat majmuk'.

I think I should start reading (and maybe writing) material in this language again. I don't want what I've learned for years to dwindle until what is left behind is a mere ability to chatter in coffee shops. I've started out in this language from scratch, became comfortable in it, and mastered it eventually. I don't think I want to let this go to waste.

It's the same for my Chinese. Ever since there's no Chinese software in my laptop, I haven't been writing in Chinese much.

Personally I think Malaysians are very fortunate to be exposed to so many different languages from young. If I was not force fed these three languages all the way since Primary school I think there would be a very high chance of me giving one or two of them up half way (most likely Bahasa Melayu as it felt most foreign to me). But learning all these has exposed me to the different ways people think and feel through the way they express themselves verbally and in the written form. A same piece of article expressed in all three different languages appeal differently to my sentiments. And most importantly, because I could feel these different sentiments, I could somehow identify myself better as a Malaysian, instead of being just me.

To me, English is beautiful in a classical way. It has a long history, but somehow it feels modern to me when I read views from people. It is far stretching and diverse, and identifies with both my logic and emotions. The Chinese language however, feels closely tied to its roots. Each word carries a certain weight. Somehow Chinese always feels weighty to me. A very short sentence, when disassembled word by word, can bring out very wholesome meanings. And somehow this is coupled with a broad sense of grandeur. And finally the Malay language. It feels romantic, in a Malay sort of way. It always appeals to emotions and sentiments. This may be weird but when I read fictional stories in Malay, at the recess of my mind there is always a very visual layer of color to it. Some dusky color, like yellow or pink in the sunset. If English stories have a color to me, then it's white. For Chinese stories, they are colorless.

As much as I appreciate different languages, I don't think I have the will to learn a new one today (except maybe Thai, since I watch lakorns a lot and have already picked up stray words and greetings here and there). I think there's enough to do just trying to keep these three languages I've learned as a part of myself.

A First Neighborly Conversation

OK I admit it. It's not the Singaporean HDB culture or anything that has caused me to be so aloof from my neighbours. I think it's just me.

I've been staying in Kovan for two months plus plus now and sadly with the exception of day one or two when the uncle staying downstairs has come up to complain of the noise we made in the middle of the night dragging furniture on the floorboards; I haven't really talked to any of my neighbours properly.

Jon has been doing quite well though. He's been stalked by a young girl upstairs, made friends with her dog and her dad, and also known the uncle who stays downstairs.

I haven't been making any progress except saying 'hi' and 'bye' to the same girl upstairs, and all these random mutual acknowledgements (or anyway you put it) are initiated by her. She's really friendly but I do get a bit at loss of what to say with people for the first few times unless they initiate the conversation. Even though she's a very outgoing (and very very cute) five year old kid. She's definitely one of those kids that Dawn would be head over heals in love over.

Anyway today when she came down the stairs to say hello to me when I came back from work, I managed to find our her name, her age, and how old her sister is. (So far all I know about her + family is her dog's name.) Maybe I should start knowing her family members better too. I have definitely lost out to this 5 year old kid in terms of neighborliness. In fact the maid I see washing the car each morning when I leave for work has taken the initiative to say hello to me too. :S

Sigh. I really am very anti-social.

I want a piano

I want a piano here. My imaginary one is perfect in all ways except there's no sense of touch. :(

Btw I like this version's rendition of JJ Lim's song. Btw the girl is 15 years old.

I want to play it! And I want to play lots of other stuff too.

Of Stoning

I don't know why I just feel like writing about this.

I have a very active brain, particularly when my mouth is closed. When I'm talking or absorbed in doing work, my brain activity is less defined. But when I'm keeping quiet or just thinking/observing (excluding the times I listen to music), I talk to myself in my head loud and clear.

Everything is going fine at work now, but I think I converse to myself too much in the lab, to an extent I find it queer. Because I still find it hard to join into group conversations even with my team mates which I feel closer to now than before. And now I even imagine that my head-conversations are loud enough to be heard by someone. I haven't identified who this someone is but I seem to be having this weird idea that someone can hear those thoughts.

Anyway, of course Whoever It Is does not exist and I am simply thinking too much. (And am being a bit too anti-social, but that can't be helped. Believe it or not, I'm already trying my best to be sociable already, with very slight improvements.)

I also 'stone' a lot when I'm taking car rides or bus rides home. The long uninterrupted kind (e.g. sitting at the back of JonC's car home from BS, or taking afternoon shift bus home) especially. Music helps this form of stoning. Then I think about people, and events that have passed, and things I've done and said. I feel old when I recall hostel days in RH and midnight walks, and think 'those were the days'. I like the color of the black night sky contrasted against the road lights, and the white lights of the buildings, and the trees in the dark. It feels nostalgic but for what reason I don't know.

Anyway just received a bit of encouragement today with regards to my kinetic weakness from a colleague. He said he strongly believed anyone could do anything if they tried hard enough. I know this too. But it was a good reminder of what I told myself when I took up this post. I knew it would be a lot of hands-on work which does not exactly go very well with a clumsy person like me. But I promised God and myself that I will try my best; and even though I can't promise a perfect job each time, I can promise a job that I have already done everything I could do in.

Wai Pheng and her brother Wan Meng will be leaving us this weekend. :( I will miss Wai Pheng a lot! Somehow she always makes me feel special, and is very special to me too. Feel blessed knowing her, and all the nice people around me too.