Redeemed How I Love To Proclaim It

"I sing for I cannot be silent

His love is the theme of my song."

Remembering the words we sang in the hymn Redeemed last Sunday.

Last Friday was my very first tracting experience. I shared the gospel verbally before, but never had the experience of tracting. We were giving out tracts in NUS explaining the theme of the gospel in small groups of three or four. I was with Alvin and Justin. We met a girl from China doing her work in the Engineering faculty, and I was glad that she allowed us to talk with her about the gospel and salvation in Jesus Christ.

Salvation is a gift to the dying world, that all one needs to do is accept. Sometimes people do find it hard to accept because it is hard to believe that something so wonderful can be free. But the motivation of the gospel is love from God, and when you love someone, you would do anything for them. The price is already paid when God demonstrated His love through sending His Son Jesus Christ to earth to pay for our sins on the cross.

I used to look down on tracting as an activity that is not strong enough to generate genuine faith. Who would believe in a piece of paper with words and myth-like characteristics (to some), especially in a world now overloaded with information? But when Stacey shared with me her experience in tracting, sharing with a student from China, who was led to come to church, I was immediately rebuked for belittling the power of God's salvation. How far can words move a person? The truth is there, but how can a heart tell the truth in this world of lies? How do we know the truth?

God is the truth, and unless the Spirit impresses on our hearts, and the hearts of our fellow men, any amount of eloquent speeches is useless. Unless God opens their eyes and ears, and unless they respond to the message with an open heart, to hear that quiet knocking. Sharing the Gospel is not the work of men, but the work of the Spirit. And God, He does not call the qualified, but qualifies the called.

The motivation of the Gospel is love. The motivation of Gospel sharing is also love, the love of a redeemed believer towards God, and subsequently, towards his unsaved fellow men. Yet how much do we let fear hinder us from sharing the water of life to a dying world, and from the ones we love most? How timid our love is.

I'm glad Campus has finally chosen tracting as our outreach programmes. Besides building up our courage in proclaiming the gospel, it also demonstrate reliance on the power of God, and His salvation. Hopefully this will help me be more burdened for others, and be confident and faithful to share the gospel more.

Second half of CNY

sMy 2nd part of Chinese New Year is spent trying to catch up with datelines I so blissfully ignored during recess week. The fact that I have to battle ants on my study table, and a horrible internet connection doesn't help much either. Fortunately Jon placed a modem in my room, so my connection is quite stable now.

I think my weak foundation in integration is killing me now. Really need to master this if I need to get my work done quickly. And nanotechnology in medicine is kind of driving me mad now. But at least it's only article reading, and not that much of calculation.

On the other hand, I'm really enjoying my Biz modules. I still think that MNO project is a bother because it's rather hard to get things done within a short timeline. But at least the project requires us to help other people which is a good thing. And I get to practice writing email-proposals again. Somehow I've been doing this non-stop since I was in Year 2. Learning more and more ways to communicate with people better, and manage teams. Terminologies are a pain though, but once you remember them they can be oh-so-interesting. And my MNO tutor handed me a big compliment regarding my role play yesterday (giving performance appraisal). He's really very nice. I rarely get compliments from teaching staff in NUS so those I get I remember well. I even remembered that a lab TA praised me once for using my fumehood properly and asked my classmates to follow suit.

The more I go through my biz modules, the more I realize that my need for affiliation and recognition is higher than I thought. Like the compliment thing - the type I like to get is not 'oh you play the piano so well', but rather 'you brought out the feeling of that song', or ' i like the way you handled that'. Specific compliments encourage me more. And on the other hand, I know this is horrible, but I don't handle criticism that well. To be honest, listening to criticisms make me very uncomfortable and I shun them. Some people attach criticisms with adjectives - you did this because you're 'weird' or 'lazy' or stuff like that. Somehow critisms that refer to an action (e.g. not clearing up my study table), is more effective, and don't hurt as much compared to those that targeting an attribute (lazy and disorganized because my table is messy). I know that I AM lazy and disorganized because I didn't clear up my study table. But it helps not to mention it you see. And another reason why my table looks like a war zone is because I don't have time to clean it (yea, excuses I know).

Simon taught us this song which he put on his blog last Friday:

You know, I'd never notice the words were so special until he pointed them out. I need to have a sense of personal mission for God.

Okies :) Back to integration.

A Recess Week That Really Felt Like A Recess Week

For the first time in my NUS life, I had a Recess Week that really felt like one. Meaning I almost didn't touch my school work at all throughout the week. And no mid-term exams! Oh joy! I literally played around through the week, ignoring the nicely made to-do list I brought back home. So now I'm cramming the whole list of work into one or two days. :( On top of that the PHD student in charge of my FYP sent Mei and I an email yesterday, requesting for a meet up next Friday to discuss 'any work we've done since the last meeting'. I did not do any work since the last meeting at all because it was right before CNY. Oh no. More work to cram.

CNY was nice although I didn't go around visiting too much, and didn't really eat a lot (but stuffed myself with mandarin oranges). Still, I had my fair share of CNY goodies. I wish I gained weight through eating them though. I just realized yesterday that Yew Hong lost 5 kg after coming to NUS too. So if you're overweight, and qualified to study in NUS, do come over. It will do wonders to your figure. But if you're thin like me, you'll become skin and bone after the three or four years are up. I seriously need to do something about my weight. But the thing is, I can't eat too much, and I don't seem to gain any weight although I do try and eat as much as I can.

I got a nice surprise after returning to my hostel in NUS yesterday. Tirza tidied my study table, and everything was arranged neatly. I just realized that her style of arranging things was the same as Mable's, who used to tidy my study table for fun before I went to university. I'll try and keep the table in the condition it is for as long as possible :)

There are so many things I want to do now but I've no time to :( I want to go to De-Coders to play board games! And I want to go to a random shopping spree and get discounted cereals. I read Mable's other blog yesterday and I feel inspired to write in Chinese again! But those things take time, and should not be done with a guilty conscience. My conscience is already guilty now because I just succumbed to the temptation of playing Diner Dash. I got past levels I've never broke through before and have stopped the game at the last restaurant out of the four. =p

To Push Hard and Aim High

We're doing a chapter on Motivation this week, and I read in my MNO text book that usually employees perform better if they are giving a very specific goal to start with, and not just the generalized one of 'doing your best'.

Some people say setting a goal is like putting a limit round your what you can achieve. But in my case, I guess I was falling back way too hard on my generalized goal on 'doing my best', and I only did my best I comfortably could, taking no initiatives to push my self further, and harder, and to believe I could do better.

I used to say that Mummy has unrealistically high goals and hopes for me to do well in NUS. But now I look back, I'd say, maybe, that was exactly what I needed.

No one is really pushing me on now, so it's up to me to exert more force and spirit unto myself. I don't say I'm going to graduate with a nice degree, but at least, I'd like my last few semesters in NUS to be fulfilling ones, in terms of academic goals.

I was chatting with Kasun the other day, and I felt ashamed of myself for being content with learning so little, while he even wants to use every bit of his summer holidays to get the most he could out of school life.

I have been spiritually complacent as well, being satisfied at where I am, and as Pastor Mike put it today, sitting at the sidelines and watching the race go by. It's time to jump back into action. Indeed.

And I need every ounce of daily grace and mercy for that.