Reap What You Sow?

After observing people across the years, I still find something that is kind of true: People expect to reap (good) behaviors they sow. Sometimes too much until they become disappointed.

Especially people who pour out their lives and time for other people. Somehow people (especially girls) with big capacities to care for people like these (of which I am not), get disappointed when they are taken for granted, or when no one else bothers to do the same for them.

Likewise, those who behave responsibly and rationally expect others to do the same. Those who don't take things too seriously expect others to be relaxed too. Those who work very hard to produce results expect others to do the same. All get disappointed when they see the gap between expectations and realities.

I used to be like that too. Getting disappointed sometimes when I'm the only one enthusiastic about something. When I'm the only donkey pulling the sleigh on and on and on. But I guess growing through the years I've lived past being like that. Now it's so much easier to take a step back and remind myself: people's actions and expectations toward me are different because they are different from me. Makes it easier to predict what others expect from me too.

Don't have to be so concerned when people are not being nice to me the way I am nice. But be observant to the way they are trying to be nice according to who they are, and be surprised by the things you find out when you do.

I don't know why I'm crapping all these but they are just some things from my mind.

There's this handwriting analysis workshop/ campagin in Jurong Point. Supposed to help you improve your writing, analyze your personality through your handwriting and such. They are launching this to improve penmanship because people are writing less and less nowadays. It's a pity because I love to write. On the other hand I also love to type. But handwriting is so much more distinctive and expressive than typing.

From what I got through glancing at the big boards up there, I'm the low-profile, rational, self controlled (what a myth!), steady, no-frills type. Everything seems to fit except self controlled haha. Also my handwriting tends to morph a bit like those of other people around me. I suppose that either means that I am easily influenced by the environment and the people in it. It's either a good or bad thing. The up side means I'm adapt to new situations quickly and make myself at home. The downside means I have no definite, distinctive personality that makes me stand out in a crowd (some of my alphabets can be inconsistent from one line of writing to the next). Still, I don't mind because I don't like standing out anyway. 

4 Ghim Moh Road With Internet

I've moved into 4 Ghim Moh road for more than 2 weeks now. And we've finally got home internet today (haven't been blogging because of that). Before that I've only been getting snippets of the internet from Jon's phone's data plan and during free hours at work.

There's a lot of nice food outlets around here with a cluster of small sundry shops and Shop and Save which opens 24 hours. I like the fact that now we're nearer to the hawker center and small shops. Last time when I was staying in Kovan I had to walk a fair distance to those because we were staying in the area of the rich who had their own cars and such. But now I'm right in the center of HDB clusters. So it's very community friendly.

However, the living space is so much smaller. When we first moved in with the 14 ft truck packed full with all our belongings (excluding Yvonne's stuff), we weren't even sure if the house would fit everything. But eventually, thankfully, it did. A lot of spacial arrangements had to be done and I had to buy a plastic set of drawers to stack up my things cz there wasn't even space under the queen-sized bed Alicia and I shared. It was over-priced, in my opinion, but it held a considerable amount of things so I think the investment was still worth it. The moving and arranging felt something like the Singapore government stacking up more and more HDB and creating more housing areas for Singapore's growing population. It's difficult but has to be managed, somehow.

Anyway we're quite settled down. I'm saving a lot of travelling time too, and a bit on travelling expenses. Now my next thoughts are on my phone and which data plan I should take up.

My current plan (with no data plan) with M1 is expiring two days later, and I'm supposed to return my phone to M1 unless I plan to re-contract and take a new phone. However, iPhone5 is coming over to Singapore soon and it seems not worth it to contract for a 4S which will have a price fall once the newer version comes up. Also I'm planning to switch from M1 to either Singtel or Starhub due to its weak coverage at my work place. I can't even receive normal SMSs properly. I think Singtel has a better coverage, but sadly they are only offering 2 GB of data now instead of 12. Starhub is still giving out 12 for roughly the same price, but I'm not sure if they've got decent coverage.

So I'll be phoneless until iphone 5 comes out. Justin is loaning me his NS phone. Feel rather said giving back my Xperia Mini which everyone says is super small and quaint, because it has gotten rather personal. They are probably going to scrap and recycle it or something. :( Still it hasn't been working well, and it's about time for a change. Phones used to be very personal things but in Singapore when I change my phone each time I have a new contract (2 years), I've learned to accept things that come and go.

Doesn't that sound something like people you meet here and there in life. Sigh.

Happy National Day Singapore

Will take a short break from blogging about Philippines and blog about Singapore instead, as tomorrow is Singapore's National Day and I'll be too tired to blog.

It's my 5th year in Singapore now and I'm very thankful to be moving around circles of Singaporean people and friends who do not have (or do not openly have) hostile feelings towards foreigners. Unfortunately this feeling of unease/ repulsion/ discontentment towards foreigners coming to earn Singapore dollars (thus taking up resources for job openings, health care, public transport and housing etc.), and later retiring in their home countries is very real. And I can't exactly say I blame them for that either.

Anyway, I studied, worked, and lived here as a Singapore permanent resident (PR) thanks to the opening in this system. In which the Minister Mentor, Mr LKY himself said that Singapore is in need of the talent and economical contribution of its immigrants, because Singapore cannot afford to progress at a slower rate due to it's naturally vulnerable conditions.

I would not compare Singapore and Malaysia and say which is better. Because 'better-ness' depends on many factors, and what is 'better' from my point of view may not be that so for others. But I would say this: As a foreigner working and living in Singapore - I am thankful for what is being offered to me here. Convenient public transport (breakdowns or not, I believe this is something to be appreciated), reasonably efficient public service, public security, a stable job, a place to stay, and acceptance as who I am.

With all political and non-political grouses and small complaints aside, I believe every Singaporean should be proud what Singapore is today and how far she has come. No system is perfect, and all man-made systems are always interjected with a fair amount of injustice, selfishness, and lack of appreciation, some more than others. Singapore's laws and policies are no exception. But there are still many things in this country to be thankful for - especially for people who love and appreciate the country, who are working hard for it, who pull together for it.

You can say I'm looking at things through rose-tinted glasses, or through the glasses of a foreigner who has but to gain from the current system. You may be, and are probably right, But as I've been working in my job for the past year: I have been consciously telling myself this - I work for the glory God, for the organization I am in, for the end users of the drugs my organization produces, and last but not least, for the economy and progress of Singapore - a country which I owe a fair amount to.

Happy National Day Singapore!

[The Negros Chapter]: He Can, and He Will

This is the second part of a series of posts about my evangelistic-campaign trip to Negros, Philippines (link to first post here). The campaign is actually 6 weeks long, but I only went there for one week. Was really a blessing to be able to serve together with the Campus Ministry this year, as well as many others from different churches around the world. We would travel to different high schools (secondary schools in Malaysian terms) in Philippines and share the gospel with them; either class-to-class or through a mass evangelism in a school assembly. I joined the campaign in Week 3, and we went to Negros (both Occidental and Oriental).

I remember a Year 4 class that I had finished (ages 15 - 16). It was a rowdy class, the students were distracted, but some of them made an effort to listen. I had varied responses. Some students professed to believe in Jesus "today". Others were sure they believed, but not sure if they were going to heaven. But the ones that really broke my heart was those saying that they did not think Jesus would want to save them, 'because my sins were too many'. 

During our practices before e-campaign, before we call for decisions, we would ask three questions to see if the students understood the gospel presentation. The first: Do you believe Jesus can save you? The second: Do you believe Jesus wants to save you? The last: Do you want Jesus to save you?

Everybody will answer "Yes!" to all three questions without a moment's hesitation, but then again, they may not really understand. In Singapore and Malaysia, perhaps the hardest is to get people to answer "Yes" to the last question. In the Philippines, they heartily answer yes to the last, but are not sure of the first two.

The next class I entered in another school was a Year 2 or Year 3 I think. I finished the first half of my gospel of what Jesus did for us on the cross. Then I looked at the students and asked them: "Guys, are you afraid? Are you afraid that God doesn't want to save you because you have sinned too many times? Or are you afraid that God is not able to save you because you have sinned too many times?" Fervent nods and echoing 'yes-es' were returned to me. Some were listening attentively for the first time.

I could identify with this. I could identify with this because that was me when I was 7 or 8. At the stage where I was voluntarily or involuntarily a 'naughty girl'. Who was always lazy and selfish, and somehow managed to create trouble here and there, somehow or other. During the nights before I sleep - I would pray to God telling Him that I believe in Jesus - and could He save me? But deep down in my heart I wondered if He wanted to. I wondered if He would save someone like me - someone whom I myself didn't really like. 

But back then I didn't know - it wasn't about who I am. It is about who He is.

To the students, I quoted the all-famous John 3: 16, "For God so loved the world, that He sent His only Son", and  Romans 8: 38 - 39: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." I also quoted that Jesus died and rose again on the third day, thus conquering sin, death, and hell - making Him not only willing to save, but able to save.

Many believers place 100% of their trust on Christ, but are not assured of their own salvation. I believe God wants us to have that assurance of salvation. For it is said in Romans 8: 30: "And those He predestined, He also called, those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified." God saves and sanctifies and glorifies to the end. 

I remember Chris (a guy from my church in my team) likes to tell people that 'Gail's sharing makes people cry in every class she goes in, including the teachers'. He then said that he only 'managed to do that' in a few of his classes, but at least he was glad that there were people who shed tears.

I was so happy to see those tears too. But after the second day, when Chris said the same thing again, I replied him with a pang in my heart: "We can't be sure that every student who was moved to tears is saved." Chris asked, "But why are they crying?"

I answered: "They were crying because they were convicted of their sin. But we can't tell if they could really understand how is it to be saved."

Indeed with the vast cultural and linguistic gap between ourselves and the high school kids - I could only pray to God to grant true understanding, for the truth to set people free. For the truth to be understood from the head - and in the heart. The joy on the faces of the students when they receive assurance and understanding is really a beautiful picture to behold. I pray that such joy abounds as the love of Jesus is known, and above all, Christ be magnified.