Back to School and Exams

Recess week was just over, and the beginning of a new school week was celebrated with Process Dynamics mid terms. I don't know what I did, again it was a state of blurriness and a mad rush for time as I struggled to lift concepts from my text book into the answer sheet. (It was an open book test.) I will be having another test on Numerical Methods this Friday.

I suppose it was due to the test and on-off sleeping for two nights running. I developed a headache at the side of my head today afternoon. Fortunately it didn't come till way after my test. I couldn't even fall asleep when it came because it hurt when I rested my head on the pillow and caused me to cough a lot because I was feeling nauseous. In the end I had to take Panadol to ease the pain while falling asleep. I took a good long 4 hour plus nap (thanks Tirza for packing my food) and woke up finding that the headache was gone. Feeling much better now. However, this means that I didn't study for the whole day and I have to mug through the night again. This is a terrible vicious cycle. I wonder if my grades are actually worth this much, but judging by how high the school fees and expectations are... I think the least I can do is try not to do too badly each time.

Yeh Yeh has just revived his blog again after a long winter of hibernation. Pretty long entries he has written too and I was encouraged by them today. :) Lately there are so many reminders for me that I haven't been placing priority in things that matter. The preaching in church about the end times that are drawing near. My own daily devotional about the warnings God gave the wayward people through the old testemant prophets. Jon's praying session with me. And things happening in Campus as well as issues brought up during Bible study.

Jesus coming again is not that far away as we're in the times we're in now. And even as the Bible said he will come suddenly, in a blink of an eye, with no one expecting it; we can't say death will give us the chance to expect it by either. As I lay in bed with a headache today, I thought about how my mum had just fallen in coma in her sleep before she left us, and I wondered for a while (well you do think of things like that when you're not feeling well) if I'll just fall asleep and not wake up again either. Things like that will just leave you unprepared, and right now I'd just be too ashamed to face God and say that my whole life is just centered on studies and exams, preparing for a career, that I might not even live to pursue, forsaking more important things that matter.

Keep thy fire burning
The fire of your faith
The Master is coming
The hour is too late

The battle grows stronger
He told us it would
But Christ is the victor
Will be understood

I can't remember the rest of the lyrics of this song haha. It's the midnight hour of the age of man. Prepare, prepare to meet Him in the clouds.

To someone who just told me she couldn't put down a death - if this helps, perhaps as the times of separation grow shorter, we should no longer quake for the death, but for the living; and for our own selves. Looking forward and no longer looking behind, running for the goal. The right goal.

NUS and its competitiveness has made me love and hate it so. But most importantly, I find it a battleground that has taught me so many things through my weaknesses. For it is through that in our weakness we're made strong. It taught me not to be puffed up, to accept myself as who I am, be it superior or inferior to others. It taught me that responsibilities are important, but not to the extent that I sell my soul chasing after the wrong things. I'll try not to make such a big hoo-hah about exams and just let them be part of my life. And trust God to guide me through and prepare the way ahead for me after doing my best. And doing my best means not compromise other more important things for the books and do just enough for what I should be doing.