Yesterday my supervisor remarked to my team leader that he is now viewing me as a senior, no longer a junior anymore in the lab. I don't know the exact, detailed implications of that, but I think it means more responsibilities, higher expectations, and less leniency over mistakes.
I've been in work for almost eight months now, and I guess it is high time I got out of the 'still learning and making forgivable mistakes' zone. In fact I was in this zone for a bit too long, which makes me a little too dependent on others. Not that I've been doing things wrongly, making grotesque mistakes or what; but my learning curve and my expectations towards myself has kind of plateaued. I've reached a nice comfort zone, and have more or less tried to stay there.
To be frank, it's nice to be thought of as a junior, and to be treated as one by supervisors and peers (partially because I'm a fresh grad and I err... look young). Expectations are low and easy to surpass. Little encouraging 'daily victories' are easy to achieve. And people are always looking out for you, checking on you, being more tolerant towards you. But yes - this easy way out is not for me. I'll never grow if expectations stay the same, although it would be more comfortable that way.
Yesterday night I did a quick gap analysis on things I know or don't know about my job, and realized that there are quite a number of areas which I am still not familiar with and could improve on further; just that I haven't put in effort to leave tasks that I'm doing fine in and venture into those unfamiliar areas. It's always nice to stick to safe, routine, work and do it quickly and accurately; but if I'm going to be depended on when there is say, only one or two persons in the shift, I need to do better than this.
I'm not really planning to stay in this shift pattern for too many years (hark quotes from doctors on how unhealthy our sleeping pattern is); but I want to stay at least enough to give back to the lab what I've been receiving from it: knowledge, training, encouragement, assurance and much more. I'm really sorry this can't be a long term job, because I've already grown attached to my responsibilities, and I've heard things could be much worse in other places. But now I'm here and at this stage of my life, I need to continue learning and improving.
