At a dead end, look up

Actually, I shouldn't be looking up at dead ends only. Up is the direction I should look at all the time.

Actually now I'm horribly stuck in my design project. Either way I'm going no where, time is short; and to top it all up I have a test a day after project submission. =.= The design project deadline is so worrying that I have no time to worry (more less so to study) for the test!

It is times like these when I'm truly desperate, I truly hold on to the Lord. Working through the night has been intolerable especially when you know a sleepless night's effort has been futile. And the song we sang for worship last week came into my mind.

I am His, He is mine; Jesus knows my name.

I can rest in His arms; He’s always the same.

When I fall, when I call, Jesus takes my hand.

Cleansing me, lifting me, He helps me to stand.

In His love, I’m secure; we shall never part.

In His Word I will trust and give Him all my heart.

In the dark of the night, when my heart would fear,

Lovingly, tenderly, my Saviour is near.

Always the same, O praise His name,

Jesus never changes; He’s always the same.

Always together, His love is forever.

Jesus never changes; He’s always the same.

The song helped me to focus. Somehow or other it was interwined with Perfect Peace (another song) in my mind. I especially love the phrase: In the dark of the night, when my heart would fear; lovingly, tenderly, my Saviour is near. It was so true especially because now it's night time (although dawn is breaking).

My problems are still there big as ever. But as always, always. I know I can let go and depend on God to work miracles. I know that Jesus is always the same. And I know that bigger problems in life can never rob the joy of knowing my Jesus.

What I Would Do After FYP Presentation

Things I would do after 10.30 a.m. tomorrow when The Presentation is finally over:

1. Sleeeeeeeep.
2. Practice worship songs for Sunday!
3. Design project (yea like that's something to look forward to =.=)
4. Attend lecture and be attentive.
5. Shop for The Item.
6. Take a proper picture of me and my poster.
7. And maybe I should prepare for Friday too just in case some industry expert asks some very technical question that stumps me.

Sigh why did I sprout big pimples just before my big day. Hope everything will work out fine tomorrow!

Distracted

Today's two lectures were a flop. I was physically there, but my whole mind was filled with FYP-presentation. The main reason was because there was a date mix-up on my moderator's part; and in the end instead of presenting on Thursday (I initially even thought everyone was presenting on Friday); I have to present my poster on Wednesday morning instead! That's like a whole 24 hours before what I expected. And I haven't prepared properly yet, Q&A and all. T___T

So I wasted 4 hours in lecture thinking about FYP 80% of the time. It was miraculous how I even managed to take down the notes I took. Sigh. But at least I have a nice poster! Because Jon spent hours helping me with the design. Thanks Jon! Thanks Tirza on the step-by-step guidance on how to print too. The printing lab was a horror to behold today, queue and chaos. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long. Was really impressed how Yvonne who was working there kept her cool all through.

On a happier note, I joined worship team in Choir last Sunday, and I'm playing piano for GLCC the first time this Sunday! Actually I plan to join worship team after I graduate, but they had an empty slot for pianist next week, so Jon recommended me. Public singing in Choir is not really my thing, because I have a static facial expression. But I guess these things come with training. It was not easy singing on stage as it was very, very, cold; and my legs hurt because I was standing the wrong way (I have very bad posture but had to stand with good posture on stage.) But service always comes with sacrifice, and that is what makes service sweet. I loved the choir. I think I might join again to sing next time around.

Things That Make Me Happy

Let us clarify the relevant terminology first. When I say 'happy', it means the emotional high I get (kind of perk), not like joy/sense of satisfaction etc.

They say money can't buy happiness - but I think to some degree it can. However, that happiness might not last long. So do these emotional perks. :) Brought by all the worldly material things. They can't last long though.

Anyway here's the list, in no particular order:

1. Shopping outings - even though there's no actual shopping involved. Like just a walk in Clementi square. Getting lesser time for even that.
2. Ice-cream. Especially the $2.50 one from McDonalds that I rarely eat.
3. Buying stationary - my favorite being colored pens (stopped myself from buying those now), paper, highlighters, any nice stationary you can think of. I mean the useful kind.
4. Using the new stationary I've brought.
5. Writing notes in a myriad of colors.
6. Clothes shopping. Especially if I get cheap and ok-looking clothes. Just brought a dress for $6 from the forum two days ago.
7. Cold drinks. Coffee tops the list when it's a horrible day with loads of work and I'm sleepy. It serves to wake me up and makes me happy!
8. Cold thick Milo. This could not be lumped up with point 7 as it is a different league of its own. In terms of price and in terms of satisfaction (but if I'm sleepy cold coffee takes precedence).
9. Facebook & Facebook games. I already limited myself to only Treasure Isle now.
10. Zuma or TumbleBugs. I love Zuma's Revenge! Believe it or not, I can play Zuma just for the satisfaction of breaking my previous high score. It's addictive.
11. Board games - the interesting kind of intricate dynamics, NOT chinese checkers/chess/Pictionary/Taboo etc. Bang! is my ultimate favorite. Sorry but I'm picky over this. :p (Yew Hong you can come RH between 9 pm - 12 am on a week day to play with me :p Not this week or next week though. We can have supper after that.)
12. Omelette made by Jon.

Also apart from all the things above, I think that my happiness factor would be boosted tremendously by the following events:

• My FYP poster design & presentation is a success.
• My absorber converges with desired results (gasp!), and everything in the design project report gos smoothly.
• I get a wonderful job. (Spent nearly 2 hours trying to write a nice cover letter yesterday night.)
• I get a wonderful place to stay with wonderful house-mates (the house-mates part is kind of checked!).

Sigh. But the last few points seem a bit out of reach now. Will make do by getting either 1 of the first 12.

Princess Mononoke

For people who like a blend of Chinese & Western instruments. And of course for those who like Princess Mononoke.

To tell the truth I would love to dictate this song for RHME, (especially now when I'm more familiar with how the Gu Zheng is played), but then there's this big vision of design project & FYP presentation blocking it out of view. It will take many, many hours to dictate it.

Yes I have still to convince my dearest absorber to converge with my latest specifications; hopefully without insanely costly values. And of course, prepare a first class presentation for my FYP poster to stun whoever's moderating my presentation.

But that didn't stop us from two games of Bang! just now. Sadly it was just four of us this time: Andrew, Jerome, Jon and myself. I played Renegade for both games (there was the Sheriff, 2Outlaws and Renegade); and use the same 'side with outlaw first to weaken Sheriff' strategy. Ended up winning the first game narrowly, but allowed the Sheriff to be overcome by outlaws the second round (that was Jon by the way), while I lost the game with full health. =.= Jerome mercilessly stuffed me into jail for 4 rounds in a row (it was his character ability that allowed him to do that somehow), while the two outlaws gunned down the hapless Sheriff. It was fun. :D

Sorry Andrew, I really want to go a third round, but then the absorber beckons. :)