Speech is not free

There are stuff that I would blog about at the spur of the moment, but then again, they are stuff that should be kept in a diary, or maybe not to be kept at all.

You may say: speech is free, it's my blog and I'd blog what I like in it, and it's up to you to read it or not. But certain things, once read, have irreversible effects, and I'd rather those effects not go out at all. It's not so free after all. Someone has to pay an emotional debt sometimes, and since I've already paid my part, there's no reason why the debt has to go out to others too.

Anyway all emo-ness aside:

1. Tomorrow is my first paper for my final semester's final exams. My aunt brought chicken soup for me again and even made extra for Jon. Super nice of her :)

2. Wayne visited Jon & me and hall this morning/afternoon. Can't believe after spending 2 hours with him the next time we'd meet would be at least a year away. But at least we get to meet.

3. Political sentiments are on the rise on Facebook and in the social media. And I haven't registered to vote. Which makes me feel pretty useless as a Malaysian.

You might think all those students who are studying overseas like us have no sentiments towards the country. Yes maybe towards an extent we feel helpless and eventually develop a hands-off attitude. I am no longer (that) concerned about who gets what percentile of the economic pie. That is a question that can never ever be answered without people getting hot and bothered over it. But what I feel REALLY unhappy about is that even when obvious tyranny is going on and our taxes are being exploited to prosper a select few, there is NOTHING we can do about it to protest. Nothing beyond liking certain statuses/pages. Even votes are sabotaged.

The cost of living is rising. And so is the nation's debt. I wonder when there will be a really big economic crisis, and our country will bankrupt without us knowing it. And when, and will, youths who really love the country stand up and run for leadership positions. And whether it will be worth their while doing it. It puts everything at risk for them if they do - even their lives.

Such sentiments are rising in Singapore too, but so far it is still under control. I wonder how long this will last as well.

Exam Week

Exam week has been OK so far. Not sure about next week though - a lot of memorizing to be done for Food Tech. :S Have an interview on top of that too.

Anyway I have been half-slacking, half-working the past week and more. Last Friday we had a board game session thanks to Jerome who has a nice collection of awesome board games. There was actually 2 sessions, but most people (read: everyone except Jerome and myself) only managed to make it for one. So I 'tried out' Incan Gold and Munchkins with Jerome in the morning. The minimum number of players was actually 3 but we kind of made do with 2. The only difference was only the lack of player dynamics, actually. I must say I quite like Munchkins now. Then we played Incan Gold again in the afternoon, and Settlers of Catan which I watched.

Went warehouse shopping with WM and Tirza (and Jon who tagged along) on Saturday but left quite quickly because there were no suitable clothes despite them being so, so, cheap. Still, there are certain stuff that I won't be wearing outdoors even if you paid me to do that (on second thoughts, I probably won't mind if I was decently paid), and yup the whole collection of those were in the warehouse. :S I wish I could have bought something but couldn't bring myself to. Anyway we had a quick tour in Clementi Mall again before returning from dinner.

On Tuesday Jon, Tirza and myself paid Alicia a visit in Oldham Hall. It was actually a cooking session by the three of them, but I tagged along to study in Alicia's air-conditioned room after being persuaded by Jon again and again. Turned out that the food was awesome, especially the mushroom soup and shepherd's pie, and I kind of felt like a leech for not helping to cook (but I did help to wash up k). Didn't manage to study as much as usual but at least I completed most of my tutorials there, on top of playing blockers (not sure if that's the correct spelling for it), and toying with Alicia's ukulele (my first time playing one!). Turns out that the ukulele is very easy to learn, and nice to hold and play to,o because it's smaller than a guitar. However, it is only limited to the soprano range. It was pretty cute. JonC came later in the evening and brought bread to go with the mushroom soup :D Then he demoed is new violin skills in front of the mirror haha. Thanks to him we got a lift back home too, which was good news for me as my EZ link card might not have sufficient credit for me to take a bus back without paying with coins. :S Oh yes Alicia has nice cheese from New Zealand too, and I tried Blue Cheese for the first time.

Yesterday night Jon and I over-nighted in the Chem Eng ice-box, and it was completely empty. So we used his headphones as speakers to listen to songs while studying. It was very fun for me - big comp screen and air-con, with our discounted student-priced McD nearby with its one-for-one Fillet O Fish promotion. Not so fun for him because he didn't bring his jacket and can't turn the air-con off. :p

Anyway that's my blog about the week so far :D I will miss these versatile hours and empty time-tables when I start work! But hopefully we can have board games sessions every now and then on weekends! <3

Jacky Cheung - 不老的傳說

Like this song :)

Last Academic Week in NUS

This is my last academic week in NUS - if not taking into account Reading Week and Exam Week(s) that follow.

My last class/tutorial ended this afternoon. It was Enzyme Tech. I think I learned lots from this module and although it could be a bit monotonous at times, the lecturer is generally interested in teaching well and providing value-added info on top of what we are studying. It's lecturers and teaching staff like this that I appreciate most and learn from the most.

Tomorrow - in fact today morning will be my final presentation in NUS. Hope we won't get shot down by the professors too much :) After that I will officially conk out as I won't be sleeping tonight.

I may graduate with a not-so-good honors but I don't think I regretted coming to NUS and wished to stay back in M'sia if I could have gotten a better CAP. I wouldn't have been stretched to this extent if so. I've worked with so many different people and learned from them, learned how to manage people, learned how to adjust expectations from people. Sometimes the academic environment is so dry and competitive that if grace and helpfulness and generosity were dew it will dry up under its harshness. Maintaining these values is so difficult when no one sees, no one cares, no one bothers; and in the end it costs you your grades, your time. I haven't been showing enough of this as I should. But I will learn to show them more.

Had my last performance with Quan in RH during Alumni Homecoming for Music Ensemble. We played You Raise Me Up (I played this with Jinq Horng last year). The key changes - D flat to E flat to E majors were horrible. But playing with a clarinet solo was a new experience, and Quan is quite interesting to duet with :) Fortunately we did OK. I wonder what will happen next time when I move out, and there's no more piano.

A short update

The worst of my design project is over; although the remaining sections on Mechanical Design and SHE are not easy too. At least submission is not one day before a test though.

Design wasn't really fun when you're getting weird results in your calculations. Yesterday Quyet, Michelle and I just spent five whole minutes laughing non-stop when we got an area of negative value for our column which was too big and fat. The past two weeks was horrible with me sleeping an average of 4 hours per day. Still I pigged all I could last week so I guess I can't be complaining now.

There's a test tomorrow too that I don't really feel like studying hard for. Which I should because my first mid-term results was below average. Don't really feel like sending in all those job apps too. Which I should too because I haven't been called for a single job-interview till date. But somehow I'm not worrying about that job. When it comes, it will come.

Working with people in a team isn't easy. We have a six-person team in design, all of which I have never worked with before. It is hard, when someone makes a careless mistake, or a wrong decision, and the whole team has to shoulder that outcome. To take consequences as a result of what other people do. And most of all, to maintain a loving, forgiving, understanding, and joyful spirit above everything. It's hard to do it, when all you want is to get a good grade, and keep that CAP where it should at least be.

Sometimes I don't know whether to be glad that I'm not the person causing all the probs (despite my CAP being the lowest among those in the team), or to be unhappy because I have to be pulled down when others are not careful enough, not punctual enough, not responsible enough, or have not researched enough, or even, when they don't care enough. It takes me so much effort to remind me life is not all about a Design project; it is more about caring who people are, and what I can do for them, rather than what I would get out from working with them, or just looking out for myself when we are in a team.

It is so difficult sometimes. But somehow I managed to break that barrier in the end with huge resolve, and I am so thankful and glad I went through all this, no matter what outcome befalls. God is good. No words can describe that.

Another joyful thing is - I found out a friend was saved in Christ last week. It was such awesome, awesome news. One would never comprehend the weight of salvation, until he knows he is loved and saved by God. How arrogant can men be when they think they are the ones who choose whether to believe or not. If God did not have the grace and mercy to grant you belief to come to Him in faith for salvation, you would never desire to seek Him in the first place. It is through the grace and mercy of God that one can be saved. Nothing of man's virtue and choice; and even if it is a choice, it is a choice to surrender.