The extra push

This is Jon's favorite image on motivation:

How best to motivate oneself? To race after timelines closing in as the number of weeks increase, and the time to finish work decrease. It's very easy to get motivated if you set a nice (tight) timetable with closing deadlines to show how little time you have left. Push yourself further by comparing yourself against classmates who have done this or that on top of gazillion things, sent out a thousand resume's and is progressing leaps and bounds in a project that you're falling behind in.

It is very easy to get motivated to meet urgent needs; to work, to eat, to splurge. But sometimes it is not easy to get motivated to love others, to grow one's self spiritually, to serve; unless you love God enough. Indeed urgent timelines and sinful pleasures crowd out the Christian's capability to love God and others.

My teacher posted up an interesting status on her wall: Would you give up relationships for dreams? Those who are ambitious and have high spirits, said yes. Those who have people at heart, said no. Me? If giving up a relationship means to stop loving, stop contacting, and stop being concerned about people, my answer is no. Although sometimes it's a challenge, but my principles say no. But if it means giving up space in terms of distance - maybe yes. Depends on what dream you're chasing - is it God's dream?

A dream that may not prosper one materialistically, it might not even feed your ego. But any dream outside the will of God is futile. No one dreams of working in some unknown place for others who reject them, unless by the will and strength of God. No one dreams of battling cancer so that others may see how strong or weak they are inside, unless by the will of God. No parent dreams of bringing up a rebellious kid, to pierce their own hearts, even though just to watch him change one day. However, any dream held for one's own is futile. For men may well plan, but the best of plans may fail.

This is the point of time where I think much about my career, and whom I aspire to be at least in the next five years. As I plan, I need very much to remember whichever road I walk on, I want it to be one that I glorify God in. I don't want to live the next decades raking in $$ just to cover loans and expenses, take leave to go for trips, and then just let my youth fade worthlessly in some unknown workplace.

Let the next place where my career continues be a place where I can make a difference. And most importantly, let God be my biggest motivation.

Thought-Processing

I realize that I have fewer blog posts than before. That's because I have little blank spaces of time to write them down, and whatever pockets of time I have, I spend it processing my thoughts instead. Which means I have a blog post out and ready, but only in my mind. And once it's there, I think there's no need for it to be anywhere else.

This might be a good thing or bad thing. Which means only unprocessed, or half-processed thoughts come here (like this one). And it means that emotions here are not completely raw. Not that it has often been anyway. But many times my thoughts are random, and they just come.

There were things I wanted to write in detail about this week. Like the last handball match I watched. Like preparing for Career Fair. Struggling with project work, and The Review Paper. Like how I handled my emotions when they were too overwhelming. Like how I liked the content for last week's Bible study despite my doziness due to coffee withdrawal.

But they were all processed and kept in the store room. I guess it will be sometime, or some other stimulus that will cause me to draw them out again.

I want to go CNY shopping! Like I want a new (cheap) top or something that looks presentable for CNY instead of recycling all my clothes almost every time I go home. But then, that has to give way to other tasks of high priority. Sigh. Hopefully the bazaar in the central forum has some good deals these two weeks.