Last Results-Out-Day

As much as I like the feeling of relief upon getting satisfactory results, I'm so glad I'm seeing the last of the results-out-days.

Well I'm very sure that this is not going to be the last time I'm awaiting a piece of paper with bated breath: one fine day the pages on a medical report is going to make me more tense than this (I hope not), but at least the academic ordeal of this is over! It was bad enough waiting for UPSR, PMR, SPM and STPM results, but this uni thing happens every semester and it has always been my least favorite part of the academic year.

I'm very thankful for my results :D I had four different dream-versions of it yesterday night. The last version of it consisted of me missing the third class honors by 0.01 of a CAP. The results came in the pink academic records book we used in Secondary school, and was distributed by my primary school form teacher who looked very grim. I was half-way counting the 'scores' and checking if the marks are correct (hoping to appeal for that 0.01 later), when I woke up. Well, I must say I brought this dream onto myself because I refused to wake up to check my phone to escape reality for a little while more. Now I'm safely right in the middle of the third class rank!

My FYP prof has been generous in his grading and I can't thank him more for that. Finally I realize those complimentary little exchanges we had during post-FYP meetings (Mei & I were writing a review paper for him) were not aimed at 'consoling' us. :p Furthermore I had found a few unwanted typing mistakes in my report after handing it in, and have grieved over them a little too late. :S It was nice working with him + Bevan. My Design Project received a rather good grade too. :)

Now the last thing I want to do in NUS (besides donning the graduation gown and receiving my cert of graduation), is to walk round the whole school and take pictures. NUS is really a very picturesque place at the right angles, and there are a lot of beautiful (non-academic) spots that are really nice. E.g. the top part of YIH feels like a forest especially when it rains.

I'm glad we all graduated in one piece! Thank God for these four years.

National Zoo Trip

I haven't been going out with my church friends in Tampin for quite some time. So this zoo trip to KL is one of those rare times. :)

It was quite fun - though a horrendous jam and various issues caused us to arrive at 11.30 am (almost noon). Still we managed to walk the whole Zoo Negara, and look at everything. Almost all the animals were hanging around.

Thank God for journey mercies and nice weather timing. It didn't rain until we had lunch and stopped after our lunch was over.

Thank God for a good time of fellowship too. I'm very proud after listening to some of the things they shared - and observing certain behavioral changes. :) Catching up with people can be very encouraging. In fact today I'm very much encouraged to serve more - to place more priority in serving although GLCC, big and well equipped as it is, sometimes seems not to 'need' certain people.

I will serve everywhere -not just in church!

It was a fun outing - but I'm too lazy to put it all down in words. Just remembered what Pastor shared from Romans: Creation shouts that there is an intelligent God who put together the universe (and many universes) each day and it details His wonder. Yet men refuse to believe, and are thus condemned because of this. Was meditating this song to myself in the van:

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made,
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!


Thank God for allowing me to experience Himself even through a day of fun :)

突然好想你

突然好想你

你會在哪裡

過得快樂或委屈

突然好想你

突然鋒利的回憶

突然模糊的眼睛

很喜欢这首歌的感觉. 五月天的阿信写的歌都很有感觉 (就好象他的<知足>一样). :) 只是觉得最后一句: "突然模糊的眼睛", 如果改写成"突然模糊了眼睛", 会比较让人感叹.

At Home

I'm now at home and am sort of doing my job applications from here.

I said sort of because there are not many jobs to apply for now. Yes, the job market is 'booming' now but most of the openings I see for my field are for diploma graduates. And no, they'd not hire a uni grad to do something that can be easily done by a post-diploma grad. It would be too expensive.

Anyway - I shall just wait and see :) Hopefully our choice of accommodation in Singapore would be determined soon. I shall miss being Tirza's roomie so I hope we will get to bunk together once in a while.

I shall miss BS with Simon in Singapore too. And the BS regulars - Stacey, Justin, and JonC. The Romans journey was most inspiring and life-changing. It was inspiring to see how Simon pulled through it too. Despite immense stress at work and dwindling number of BS participants. I am really thankful for his faithfulness and testimony.

Yesterday I was just singing Amazing Grace to myself. I love all the four stanzas in that song. Usually I'd focus on the first and second, because I'd relate to them. But yesterday I remembered the fourth:

When we've been there ten thousand years,

Bright shining as the sun;

We've no less days to sing God's praise,

Than when we've first begun.

I love the way I felt the composer thought - he wanted to sing God's praise through eternity and joyfully reassured that he would be able to do so. First he was grateful for his salvation, and then he was glad that he was saved so that he could glorify God all the way to eternity.

Yes we have been beautifully and wonderfully saved. We have not just been redeemed from sin and death, but more amazingly, Christ now lives in us. That itself is beyond undeserved grace. Just redemption from sin is beyond deserving but Christ living in us, unworthy earthen vessels is more than one deserves.

And I love Pastor Jason's well-used analogy: A child asked his parent:" If Christ is bigger than the universe, and He lives in us, shouldn't He stick out?"

I pray that Christ be magnified in my life.

Let Go

No emotions are too hard to let go in light of what He has done for me. I shan't rant and complain. I shan't moan and sigh. I shan't hide it away. I shall take it out, shake it away, and let it go. What I can't control, He can.

I am bigger than that. My heart is bigger than that. For it is Christ that is in my heart, and it is Christ who lives in me.

Vacation hunting for Vocation

Two years ago someone was down in the dumps because he couldn't find a job. I remember trying to encourage that person while secretly thinking if that will be me after another two years.

Today I attended an interview. It was a nice interview. The interviewer was very kind and understanding but she told me point straight that I wasn't suited for the job. It was my personality and it was the direction I was aiming towards. I think I agree with her. That's why I always make it a point not to hide things from my interviewers or become someone who is not me when being interviewed. It's OK to get a job in the short run, but not really OK to be unhappy in it in the long run.

I know it's necessary to think long-term when looking for a job as well as short-term (gain experience first). Where would I want to head like 5 years down the road? Would this job bring me there?

I have another interview tomorrow. I wonder how it would turn out too. But I am not worried. It's all in the hands of the Lord. He will give me the right job. And He will turn down the wrong ones too and praise Him for that.

Things are so uncertain now. But then again, my IA experience was really a comfort to me. I went to SP not expecting anything, but they accepted me as an intern. And the position was really in something I could do well and learn much in. It's really all in His hands.

However, today we must be realistic. Although i want to learn things in work, not every job would be able to give me that opportunity. In fact most of them can't. It's just mere routine. I must learn to accept that.

But I do want to work somewhere where I can learn, grow, in technical knowledge. I want to work somewhere with people too, where I can learn from them, give and take, and interact. To work with nice, and easy-going people who make your day a joy. To work with difficult people and become someone stronger. I want to be somewhere where I can contribute.

I know I will find that job. It's just out there :)) But it will find me one day. Because God will lead me to it!

Exams Over

My exams were over last Saturday. So now I can really say goodbye to the academic portion of my NUS life. However, I am still jobless, and will still need to attend interviews.

Tirza says that if I have to work, it would be only meaningful to choose a job that I really like (OK this is paraphrased, hope I didn't distort the meaning of it). Sadly the industry that I would like to be in is not really hiring in bulk. I can do other jobs, but I would only like to work if 1) I can learn things from a job, and 2) I am capable/ competent in performing the job well.

Sometimes I feel apprehensive to start a career in a non-pharmaceutical field. Because even if I have a chance to move back there later, I would need to start from scratch after many many years. But I would really love to get a chance to work in this field. It fits my character, and it would carry much meaning.

However, without a good honours, one cannot be picky, no? Sometimes you get to do what you love, but other times, you just need to love what you do.

Maybe one day, I'll just put down everything and chase my dreams opening a boardgames cafe in Singapore (may the board games heat among the Singaporean (and non-Singaporean) youth live forever!). Then I'll get to play every single day :)

Maybe one day, I might do a Masters in Business too. IF I could.

But now, it's time to be realistic, to be humble, and to accept whichever door God opens. Thank God for the interviews I got this week :) Hope to learn much from them.