Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Golden Tap

Many Singaporeans might know the 'golden tap' uproar the National Kidney Foundation went through in 2005. The installing of a golden tap in CEO T.T. Durai's private office had led to public outcry over the Durai's private office suite, his salary, use of company cars and first-class air travel. If you don't know the story, click here to take a look.

We discussed this as a case study in our MNO module (Management and Organization). The class was halved in deciding whether Durai was a good leader, or otherwise. The article we read, featured the transforming changes he created, in making the National Kidney Foundation what it was, benefiting countless patients with kidney problems, offering them a wholesome physical and emotional healing, involving their families, and themselves. Durai made a normal charity foundation to be phenomenal. Donations flooded in, and public trust was high.

Yet again it was Durai's extravagant lifestyle and questionably high salary (especially looking at things from the point of view of a charity organization), that caused public confidence to fall, and an immediate retention of donations. When asked, the half the class (or more) in my tutorial group found that there were not any real pressing ethical issues in this case, with regards to Durai. A high pay was legal - and first class air-flights were legal, in a way too. The installation of the golden tap - so what was that? A CEO can spend money any way he likes, could he not? However, it was interesting that many Singaporeans were so highly perturbed by this issue. Of course in the tutorial, there were also issues not brought up like Durai being sentenced to a 3 month jail term for three charges, including fabricating a $20,000 invoice.

Was it fair to say, Durai was not a good leader after all his efforts transforming the face of NKF? He was highly charismatic, and he produced results, and most importantly, the results saved many a Singaporean's life. But there was this other half of the class that doggedly insisted that ethical leadership was crucial to being a good leader. I was in that half. And I'm not bragging that I'm morally superior as compared to Durai or anything. This blog is not presented to judge Durai, nor to judge those that think Durai is a good leader (or otherwise), but just to record some of the more important things I learned in school that will propel myself forward in my career.

We had this lesson today in my leadership module, themed the Ethical, Servant, Spiritual, and Authentic Leadership. One of my classmates asked the Professor a very pertinent question. What about those CEOs, he said, who reap high benefits in terms of salary from company earnings? Is that ethical? Needless to say, my thoughts immediately turned to the case of the golden tap.

To be frank, there is not yet a clear definition defining leadership. It has been defined in many different ways, according to different criteria, and judgement needs to be made. But one thing was crystal clear: The intention is what that truly matters. Looking at a process of a decision, the ends, the means and the outcomes; it should always be known that the ends never justify the means, no matter what. No matter how good the outcome is, if the process of attaining it is not done ethically, it does not justify what you do as right.

Authentic leaders have high self-awareness, knowing their own values and beliefs. The whole point of an authentic leader who leads is to spread these core values within him to his followers, not to attain self-serving means. Otherwise,the leadership is not authentic. In an economical sense, nowadays it makes good sense for people to be ethical in their dealings too, as what they do has high connection to gaining public trust, and motivate followers as leaders. A leader who goes far is willing to make sacrifices, is concerned over the welfare of his followers, and is not too obsessed over the fact that he should be the one gaining credit for his cause.

Successful leadership means pointing people towards a cause, so that they would be motivated to work towards it. If the cause fails along with the leader that does not walk the talk, one might say that even with initial successes and benefits reaps, ultimately after being exposed in the light, the leader fails to convince people to follow him. It has been shown time and again that ethical leadership is especially important during times of crisis, when people look up to see if promises were kept, if a leaders actions is consistent with the company's vision and mission statements, if they could be trusted to work and sacrifice together under a leader's leadership. Such seemingly unprofitable actions (such as Southwest Airlines refusing to layoff during the September 11th crisis), many a time brought in very unexpected gains (the employees were motivated to work hard and be loyal, and in the end the company quickly turned around from the crisis).

I admit that my goals in life are to a large degree self-serving, and when I think of working in a corporate world, there are times where I consider these tempting areas of prestige, high salary and recognition when moving up the ranks. But today, I have been convinced to redesign these aspiration to take up the challenge to try and endorse this authentic leadership, should I have the chance to lead. To lead, not for personal gains; but to spread core values through the work I'm doing. To learn not to always seek credit, but put the job first. That leadership, I feel, would truly go far, and even if the pace and height of my career would not match up eventually, the sense of achievement and satisfaction ultimately gained is immeasurable.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Another batch of songs

Another batch that I like:




I think Lin Yi Chen brought out this song very nicely. It has a different feel from the original, sung by Tank. :D



Orginal:


懂得让我微笑的人
再没有谁比你有天份
轻易闯进我的心门
明天的美梦你完成
整个宇宙
浩瀚无边的尽头
每颗渺小星球
全都绕着你走
爱我 非你莫属
我只愿 守护
由你给我的幸福
爱我 非你莫属
但那人是你所以
不怕苦
懂得让我流泪的人
给的感动一定是最深
在我心中留下伤痕
你同时点亮了星辰
整个宇宙
浩瀚无边的尽头
每颗渺小星球
全都绕着你走
爱我 非你莫属
我只愿 守护
由你给我的幸福
爱我 非你莫属
也许会 笑着哭
但那人是你所以
不怕苦
那麽多相遇
偏偏只和你
天造地设般产生奇迹
oh~ 我心的缝隙
我想除了你
任谁也无法填补这空虚
爱我 非你莫属
我只愿 守护
由你给我的幸福
爱我 非你莫属
也许会 笑着哭
但那人是你所以
不怕苦

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I'm Officially Attached

... to a company named Schering Plough (merged with Merck & Co., Inc.), for my internship next semester (July - December). It's going to be a LONG, LONG, semester. I won't be able to spend Christmas at home! That's the worst part of it all. Better hope this learning experience is worth it.

I won't blog too much about the company, either now or in the future, because I know it's good practice to keep your work life private as much as you can in the blogsphere so I'm adhering to that. But I really want to tell about my interview yesterday, so here goes.

My interview was scheduled to be 10.30 in the morning, but I needed to prepare early because according to GoThere.Sg, the trip is 88 minutes long. And this is the distance I have to travel everyday to work in Tuas. It was raining (or rather pouring) cats and dogs then, and my small umbrella was no match for the mighty rain. I hastily put on a skirt instead of my long pants, because I anticipated what it was going to be like to have the foot of my pants all wet. Nothing could save my poor shoes though. They were utterly drenched. I cabbed part of the way there and it cost me $8 ++.

My interviewer was the lady whom I'm supposed to work under and she had just finished seeing another candidate (a guy). There was this stack of candidate applicant lists on the table and there was mine (with my very ugly passport photo) on the top.

This lady really knows how to put an interviewee at ease. She got me to tell more of myself than I initially planned to, and she got me to trust her and even reveal a number of my shortcomings honestly. She was also very sensitive towards the needs of an intern, having worked with several in the past years. She knew exactly what she wanted, and even told me in advance the challenges, conflicts and problems I might be facing in the future, to make sure that I won't regret after getting the job. After all, being stuck for 6 months in a position you don't like is really very undesirable.

After the interview itself, I did not know its outcome (she mentioned that she had yet another student coming to be interviewed), but I was very much at ease. Firstly, I knew I made a good impression (she seemed like she liked me); Secondly, I learned it was right to be honest in interviews to ensure good person-job-fit; and Thirdly, I wasn't as hard up for an internship as before. In fact, I didn't really think I'd get a job in this company as it was a large company and I am (ahem) relatively unconfident when it comes to academics. (Note that this feeling only applies in Singapore. Gah.) The whole reason I came to the interview was to just look at the interior of the company and get a feel of what its like. Also, many interview experiences do help when it comes to the real thing next time.

Anyway, in the evening, I got an email from the NUS Industrial Attachment department which said that they are taking me in as an intern. Yay!

I could just imagine my life next semester. Wake up at 5 plus am. Board bus at 6.20 am. Work starts at 8 and ends at 5. Traveling takes an hour plus. And I have night classes from 6-9 pm two days a week. Fortunately my work is a 5 day week, so I do have my weekends to myself. It's going to be very tiring after this rather slack semester of mine. But then again, this is indeed the time I learn to overcome my physical tiredness when it comes to working, be disciplined, learn to handle long distances, stress, and learn to communicate with people, especially my superiors. I think the learning experience would be great. The only sad thing is I'm forced to compromise spending my holidays at home. And I can't go back between May-June also because of FYP. I hope I do have time to go back a bit more because my FYP isn't in a very ideal state now.

I remember my interview from Company X last year, which, for reasons not documented here for the sake of the company's privacy, I left because of personal issues. The mindset I had for interview was very different from the ones I had this year. At that time, I was desperate to get a job. This time, I was willing to take up more modules instead if I can't get an attachment, instead of getting stuck in job I couldn't learn anything from. It seemed that the second attitude yielded more positive results. I could be more honest to potential employers, and just tell them all I am capable of and NOT capable of, to let them decide if hiring me is the best option.

I'm also very grateful to the company I mentioned in my previous blog entry, who offered to let me do research work. I had to decline the offer now (and I hate doing that), but at least through this experience, it showed that CAP was not really everything, at least when it comes to internships. I don't know what it is in the real working world though. But I thank God for my two interviewers who were so kind enough to believe in me and accept me as an intern. They just gave me so much more hope for the future, at least in this stage.

So now it's up to me to wrap up this current semester nicely and go all out in the last few weeks before exams. :) Next semester will be totally different, and there will be many new fears I have to face. I feel so apprehensive, yet so hopeful. As always, God will be there to guide me through.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Of Carelessness and Group Work and Random Hall Stuff

I have been very careless in the past week. First I lost my umbrella (fortunately I only brought it for $3.90). Then today I found out that I lost my Ez-link card with $$ inside! :( So I had to get a new one. Now they kind of merged Ez-link with NETS, so it's called Nets-Flash-Card instead. Alongside with the purchase $5 per card, I get a fridge magnet and a card pouch to keep the card too. There are also supposedly some shopping benefits associated with it (but don't expect too much). Here's the official website: http://www.nets.com.sg/netsflashpay/

To me the most interesting thing about the card is still the breezy-bee design. :) Yes, I'm still a kiddo in that sense, and I know it.

My hectic MNO project is finally done and over with. I'm getting quite tired of it - it's not really worth that much effort for 4 MC, I feel. Furthermore - videoing and presentations are not my thing. But it was fun knowing my team mates, they really made the effort quite worth it. Of course they were not perfect; but at least most of us have a joint responsibility for each other, and we would just turn up for meetings to support one another. Our video might not be a bomb, but still the experience was a bomb. I wouldn't ask for another like it though - it was rather too tedious for my liking. If I had took it in any other semester other than this one, I would have died.

DND was over and somehow the effect wasn't as explosive as last year. I went mainly because I had to write-up for Phoenix Magazine. It was okay, the theme was fun (Eclectic World - go google the word 'eclectic'), and the dress-ups were interesting. Anyway I went as myself in my one and only white dress. Mr Goh asked if I was trying to be Snow White, but no, Snow White was far more colorful than this. :) Pageant contests were not as exciting as the previous years, and the whole run of everything was rather mechanical and dry, in terms of the programs. I liked their small events but I suppose my expectations were built too high because of them, hence I felt a bit let down by the real thing. The food was quite good though.

Hmm. In case you're wondering, I'm not writing to rant over DND here. Last year's DND was really great, and that's why the bar was raised high. This year's DND has its good points too, but I'll leave that to my Phoenix writeup where I can only say politically correct things in. Will give DND due credit in that write-up of mine, but meanwhile, bear with this more politically incorrect, but much lesser read blog entry. I need loads of motivation to write the article though - been slacking a bit too much, I don't even feel like writing my lab report (because I have the wrong data in).

There's a Night Cycling activity next Friday. I kind of want to go, but I have too big problems.
1) I don't know what my schedule is like next week.
2) I don't know who's free to go with me.

And I've never been to night cycling in year 1 or year 2 due to academic concerns. I want to go at least once throughout my four years here!!!

I'm kind of stuck in FYP now. Rather in a blank state. Trying to research, not get lazy and complete my work at the same time.

I also have an interview with Merck and Co. this Tuesday. Okay, it's not really M&C directly, rather it's Schering-Plough that they've merged with. It's a company dealing with pharmaceutical products, a line I feel I'd be interested to go into at this point of time. However, I still need to go there to look around first before I can really decide if it's my cup of tea. My years in NUS taught me that many times, expectations and reality really don't match. Not in a bad way, but sometimes our 'conventional' notion of jobs that are not backed up with actual experience do create some misconceptions on how we view things. The thing is I have another company that has already offered me an internship (research work) to do in Singapore Poly, very near NUS. I must admit I'm severely tempted. And I don't know how to hold on to this one, and wait for the other.

In the end I decided to truthfully tell the Boss of that company that I'll be having another interview this week and I'll make my choice by the end of next week. He never sent me any replies though, so I guess silence means consent? I know about the 'bird in hand is worth two in a bush' concept - but still... I want to at least go to Schering P and know what this internship is about and their working environment first. And I don't want to have company one hanging to me all the time and in the end dish them you see. It was a rather risky choice perhaps? But I guess people who have been employing all the time in the working world should understand my situation. Anyway I'm not that worried - because i know God is going to give me a job that suits me best.

That's all my updates for the weekend. Hopefully I'll have time for more in the coming week.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Viva La Vida

Today was NUS Open House and Raffli sang Viva la Vida, and one other song that also sounded quite nice but I forgot the name. I loved the in-house performance in Raffles Hall, it was awesome! :) String instruments always sound extra nice in a band I think. There was Raffli on the drums (so cool, never seen him play drums; but he wasn't actually drumming, just keeping the beat and once in a while clanging a cymbal), Shawn on cello, Jing Horng on violin, and the very 'pro' Issac on acoustic guitar.

I was more impressed by this performance more than the actual one on Youtube by Coldplay, honestly speaking. Maybe it's just nice to hear things (especially strings) live. And with the alternate music arrangement - it sounded a bit different. Loved the drums effect. And this is without e-guitars for once haha. Maybe I have lower affinity towards e-guitars.

This is Tirza's favorite version on Youtube - Viva la Vida fused with Love story by Taylor Swift. Music only - this is an instrumental :)



Actual version by Coldplay, with singing:


I performed for Open House too, two in-house performances in Raffles Hall, and one of those performed in the Multi-Purpose Sports Hall.

For CME I fused Starry Starry Night, Wind Beneath My Wings, and You Raise Me Up; recycling Phoenix Fest's item.

1) Starry Starry Night - didn't exactly reproduce this, what we did was more 'sentimental' version of this. This is orginal singing is more detached, I feel. You should read the lyrics if you want. The message is a bit depressing - but they are all based on Vincent van Gogh's paintings.



2) Wind Beneath my Wings

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrvodSr3JmA

Embedding disabled so here's the link. I can embed other versions, but this Celine Dion's is my favorite so far out of the limited number in Youtube. Song is nice -but not much of a peak - hence my idea of fusing it with You Raise Me Up (Starry Starry night suggested to be added by JH later on).

Most people don't know this song (surprisingly) so I added the Youtube link here. I like it's lyrics quite a lot :)

With He Li and Yifan's duet I did 一个像 夏天, 一个像秋天 by Fan WeiQi, and Zhao Wei's 好想好想 that Jon is currently still addicted with after listening to our practices.

一个像 夏天, 一个像秋天



Actually I'm not that much in love with this song, but the lyrics are pretty cute.

好想好想 (I put this here before, but anyway, just for a record).


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Phoenix Fest 09/10

Maybe this is the last Phoenix Fest I'm going to perform in. Unless I perform as a final year, but one can't be too sure about that at this point of time.

Thanks Pin Yun, Farid, and Huimin who came to support. And thanks Kasun for sticking through the whole thing too haha. :) I don't know how I really did (three practices is a bit short for a big-scale performance like this, and I'm sure we should have done more). But my performance surpassed all those practices and I was able to put my heart into the music. I guess that's all that matters to me now.

All the other performances was spectacular. I remember when I was in Year 1 I enjoyed the performances so much that I wrote a sequential review of each in a blog entry. This year's one was generally much better than the previous years, in terms of atmosphere, residents who came to support and performance quality. But I'm lazy and I won't do the one-by-one review any more. Sigh. Enthusiasm dies when we go over. But stage fright doesn't. I've been performing for so many years running and I'm still getting butterflies in my stomach every time my turn approaches.

I'm always proud to be part of RH's cultural groups. Even though I don't think performing is the best way to express music. But I can't deny it is a good entertainment source, to share and showcase your talent. But when you're working with so many zai people, someone with slight inferiority complex like me still like to wait until the piano lounge (and preferably the surroundings) is completely empty before I sit down and play. Maybe this is selfish - but most of the time I keep my music to myself.

Anyway, Phoenix Fest has come and gone, and deadlines are approaching. As my final year in university edges closer, I just can't ignore the sad fact that I'm growing up, graduating and am going to face new challenges and shoulder new responsibilities soon. I need to be ready for that - and I need to start now.

Monday, March 8, 2010

人间四月天

Here's a song Dawn and I loved to follow during our late primary school/early secondary school days. RTM2 had a lot of sad dramas based on the Shanghai era at that time, and some of them though acted by not-so-popular movie stars were quite intriguing. 人间四月天 is about a famous poet 徐志摩 and his complicated relationship with his wives and two other girls. I don't like the fact that he is so unloyal towards his partners and that they are so dependent on him (except the second girl, acted by 周迅). He died in a plane explosion in the end. But the theme song was nice and Dawn and I used to have this pet list of theme songs where we would sing together. This is one of them.

If you can't relate to who 徐志摩 is, you might have heard of his famous lines:
悄悄的我走了,正如我悄悄的來;我揮一揮衣袖,不帶走一片雲彩。








Other dramas aired around that time (when we would usually eat our lunch), was like 星星,月亮,太阳; 像雾像雨又像风 (a very different 周迅 in here this time, song above), and other series written by Qiong Yao which could be way too cheesy making it a pain to watch sometimes. The first two I mentioned were set in the Shanghai era too. I like the costumes and the stories during that era more somehow. Can't remember too many titles, but once I come across the dramas I remember them.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Musings After Week 7

This semester has been a rather slack one. :) I like it! But I don't know how much difference it will make to my results.

I'm going out tomorrow to visit the Family Service Center that we could (hopefully) do community service at. It's tiring having to constantly change plans like this. But in the end I think we'll make it. :) My MNO team is a nice one to work with, at least so far.

I'm practicing for Phoenix Fest and NUS Open House for CME and the Rugged Hallways respectively. I don't know why but I don't really have much mood for music nowadays. I once said that my music reflects who I am at a point of time? That's really true. It sounds listless now, no energy, despite my constant trying and trying I can't put that little extra 'oomph' in that my songs badly need. The tactics and beats are there, but the emotions won't come.

I told JH (he's playing violin for me) today that our playing lacks something. He says, well, there's not much we can do. It's true also. CME used to be a big family team playing together, so much that even when practices are tough it's a joy to listen to and play with. Now there's just two of us. I always feel it's my fault not being able to carry on Farid's legacy. True enough, last year's CME did quite well in terms of performance quantity and quality. In fact I never realized we did that well until I started looking backwards. But one thing I never managed to instill into my members (that Farid did): CME is a family, and the fun thing about belonging is our being able to jam together. I lost that quality out. And now, it's almost gone forever, until some Chairperson in the next few generations revives it.

Hall points are out. My points are the lowest so far in the past 3 years. But I don't really mind - because the effort I put in is the least in the past 3 years too, and my points are enough for me to stay on in hall. I know there are people who are dissatisfied with their points too. So I should be quite thankful that mine quite aptly reflects my efforts for hall this year. So far dissatisfaction stems from two reasons: 1) Points don't match effort. 2) Points match effort, but alas, fall short when compared to other people.

Sometimes I think when we don't compare ourselves to others, we'd be so much happier, and satisfied. Easier said than done though. The world isn't fair. Sometimes you're unfairly better off than other people. Sometimes it's the other way round. You'd never really complain when it's the first case. In my case, I often have quite an effective way of solving the 'unfair' problem. Jesus paid for my sins and credited righteousness I don't deserve in my account. That's ultimate unfairness that tip scales to my side all the way. And because He loves me, nothing else will be unfair anymore. It will just be part of His big, big plan for my life. It's always wonderful to have this assurance.

One thing that made me quite happy this week was the new wall paper I found:

http://snooglezoo.com/wp-content/gallery/cute-wallpapers-1024x768/owl-family.gif

It's my new wallpaper now! I can't post it here because I somehow couldn't resize it or move it around. But it's super cute! And I love it. Makes me feel much better when I open my laptop to do my mundane FYP work of looking through 690 chemicals, checking their pka and recording their charges one by one. Thankfully Jon helped with some Excel codes, making the thing less tedious. However, it's still an awful chore, that I can hardly learn anything from. Hopefully this phase of the FYP will be over soon!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Rainbow Connections

I heard this song long ago once upon a time during my childhood, and heard it again from RH Choir. Something made me google this song today, because it's actually a nice song. I never thought it was orginally sung in The Muppet Show haha.





LOL. It's quite nice once the initial part is kinda gotten over with.

The Carpenter's version :) Has more feeling I think.





Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbow's are visions
They're only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told and some chose to believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it's done so far
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see

Someday we'll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Are these the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors
I think they're one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that I'm supposed to be

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Monday, March 1, 2010

Redeemed How I Love To Proclaim It

"I sing for I cannot be silent
His love is the theme of my song."

Remembering the words we sang in the hymn Redeemed last Sunday.

Last Friday was my very first tracting experience. I shared the gospel verbally before, but never had the experience of tracting. We were giving out tracts in NUS explaining the theme of the gospel in small groups of three or four. I was with Alvin and Justin. We met a girl from China doing her work in the Engineering faculty, and I was glad that she allowed us to talk with her about the gospel and salvation in Jesus Christ.

Salvation is a gift to the dying world, that all one needs to do is accept. Sometimes people do find it hard to accept because it is hard to believe that something so wonderful can be free. But the motivation of the gospel is love from God, and when you love someone, you would do anything for them. The price is already paid when God demonstrated His love through sending His Son Jesus Christ to earth to pay for our sins on the cross.

I used to look down on tracting as an activity that is not strong enough to generate genuine faith. Who would believe in a piece of paper with words and myth-like characteristics (to some), especially in a world now overloaded with information? But when Stacey shared with me her experience in tracting, sharing with a student from China, who was led to come to church, I was immediately rebuked for belittling the power of God's salvation. How far can words move a person? The truth is there, but how can a heart tell the truth in this world of lies? How do we know the truth?

God is the truth, and unless the Spirit impresses on our hearts, and the hearts of our fellow men, any amount of eloquent speeches is useless. Unless God opens their eyes and ears, and unless they respond to the message with an open heart, to hear that quiet knocking. Sharing the Gospel is not the work of men, but the work of the Spirit. And God, He does not call the qualified, but qualifies the called.

The motivation of the Gospel is love. The motivation of Gospel sharing is also love, the love of a redeemed believer towards God, and subsequently, towards his unsaved fellow men. Yet how much do we let fear hinder us from sharing the water of life to a dying world, and from the ones we love most? How timid our love is.

I'm glad Campus has finally chosen tracting as our outreach programmes. Besides building up our courage in proclaiming the gospel, it also demonstrate reliance on the power of God, and His salvation. Hopefully this will help me be more burdened for others, and be confident and faithful to share the gospel more.