Certain issues drove me to google this term, and I did learn that it could be used in a very interesting way. Apparently 'defamation' can be used to term people even when what is 'defamed' is true. I guess it's the nature of the action itself. Defaming.
Long ago I made a promise to this blog not to tarnish it in content by defamation. To keep things clean - because I witnessed first hand how defamation hurt someone and almost broke a friendship - even when that person was unnamed. There was once when I actually did something like that on Facebook - (person unnamed of course) and I immediately cleared things off the screen two seconds after. It was just not worth it.
That's why even when I become an object of internet defamation, I just decided not let it bug me at all. The defamation is the worst offense, and yet it is the best defense. Just by its being there. So there's no need to say much more. Guess most people would understand if they think through these lines carefully. And in the end when you want to let things go when the sun sets, they go easier, instead of the hard way when you have to clear more thorns in front of you before letting go. I guess I do take things the easy way out, as always!
So yes bloggie, this post is to renew the promise I made to you, no internet defamation, be it of an individual or an organization. After all, some things are yours and you treasure them too much to let it be defiled with words. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword. It wounds a commoner as ruthlessly as the most evil soldier. And when it wounds in the public, it does affect even more people than it did before. (And that's why I never allow myself to write when I'm really emo. Guess I'm still on the emo side now so I wonder how much poison is still currently in my pen while I'm blogging this.)
There are even more things I never allowed myself to post up here (or even in my private blogs). I do put high priority on my blog and writings and do realize that whatever reasons I write them down for, what I write I remember forever, and they do change my outlook of life a lot (especially when I read my archives). That's why I was so glad that my year one posts were all positive ones. Sometimes I think I would have died from NUS stress if not for my year one personnel who blogged and channeled all needed hope into my year 3 future. (Weird, is it not?) Thank God for that. Maybe I'll need even more of that, when I go out to work.
Now I've deterred from the topic I started off with, and leave of with the theme that the blog actually makes a person, if you're somebody like me who reads archives a whole lot, that is. So yep, do be careful of what you blog about, especially when you rant.
p/s: Oh! Oh I found this link on Wei Lun's blog and it's one of the primary school kids in church - he's actually blogging! You big Kor Kor's and Jie Jie's who don't blog are losing out to him! :) The posts are quite funny and wacky, but my point is, he's actually blogging, and in English too!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Christmas week, and many other things
I still remember this year's Easter message, pastor remarked that many people enjoy and look forward to Christmas ever year. The decorations, the small baby in the cradle, the giving and the joy. Yet no where in the Bible were we asked to remember or celebrate the birth of Christ. But Jesus, in the last supper, did ask his disciples to always remember his death. The body broken, the blood that flowed - his death to complete the work of salvation.
This messaged stayed in my mind for more than half the year, and somehow changed my outlook of Christmas. Christmas, as commercialized as it is, does in a way, draw people to pause and ponder its true meaning. Why the babe, the wise-men, the shepherds, the stars, the lowly birth in the manger, angels heralding His birth. Everyone loves the baby, loves the joyous birth, and somehow it is so hard to connect that this babe, Christ, would grow up to walk the path of the suffering, to be nailed on the cross to bear the sins of the world. Somehow Christmas and Easter become two very differently themed occasions, when they should be in a way, one and the same.
While Christmas is filled with church activities, carols, programmes, gifts and reunion dinners, this year I learned that salvation is the focus of Christ's coming, and it should be the thing I focus on. Instead of the night of Christ's birth itself, to remember why He came, and how this has become personal to me.
On a separate note, due to certain complicated changes that arose most last minutely, next semester, I'll be doing my FYP (Final Year Project), and will postpone my industrial attachment plans to Semester 7 in July instead. On one hand, I look forward to taking more modules this semester, especially since I have the freedom to choose most of them. On the other hand, I am a bit worried about doing FYP this early, but I guess I'll just have to make that up with putting in extra work and research.
Exam results were out yesterday, and they were exactly the same as what I had been experiencing semester after semester. I can't tell how numbed my feelings were towards them already. Learning is indeed a journey to be enjoyed, but still, people do have to be evaluated at the very end of the journey. My family remained supportive regardless of the fact that my performance was really 'below average' all the time. Coming into NUS has really been an adventure that had awakened myself to come to the awareness of where I really stand in a competitive academic society. It is painful to realize that you will always stay that way because you don't learn as fast, because your passion doesn't match up with others, and because you don't put in as much as you really should.
There is a limit for everyone, and I don't think I've stretched myself as far as I really should. There is always room to push oneself further, but with what consequences? I always wanted to be a high achiever in academics, and given another chance to start over in NUS, I believe I would have done things differently, worked harder and pushed myself to the max. But as it is, even with what I'm currently putting in, I'm compromising a whole lot of things just to study harder, and it would be dangerous to compromise further and lose myself. For what it is for man to gain the world, and lose his soul?
Nevertheless, a new semester is ahead, for me to strive harder and learn more before I leave university and enter the working world. And I believe, as always, God's grace is sufficient for me, and that is always enough for me to carry on.
This messaged stayed in my mind for more than half the year, and somehow changed my outlook of Christmas. Christmas, as commercialized as it is, does in a way, draw people to pause and ponder its true meaning. Why the babe, the wise-men, the shepherds, the stars, the lowly birth in the manger, angels heralding His birth. Everyone loves the baby, loves the joyous birth, and somehow it is so hard to connect that this babe, Christ, would grow up to walk the path of the suffering, to be nailed on the cross to bear the sins of the world. Somehow Christmas and Easter become two very differently themed occasions, when they should be in a way, one and the same.
While Christmas is filled with church activities, carols, programmes, gifts and reunion dinners, this year I learned that salvation is the focus of Christ's coming, and it should be the thing I focus on. Instead of the night of Christ's birth itself, to remember why He came, and how this has become personal to me.
On a separate note, due to certain complicated changes that arose most last minutely, next semester, I'll be doing my FYP (Final Year Project), and will postpone my industrial attachment plans to Semester 7 in July instead. On one hand, I look forward to taking more modules this semester, especially since I have the freedom to choose most of them. On the other hand, I am a bit worried about doing FYP this early, but I guess I'll just have to make that up with putting in extra work and research.
Exam results were out yesterday, and they were exactly the same as what I had been experiencing semester after semester. I can't tell how numbed my feelings were towards them already. Learning is indeed a journey to be enjoyed, but still, people do have to be evaluated at the very end of the journey. My family remained supportive regardless of the fact that my performance was really 'below average' all the time. Coming into NUS has really been an adventure that had awakened myself to come to the awareness of where I really stand in a competitive academic society. It is painful to realize that you will always stay that way because you don't learn as fast, because your passion doesn't match up with others, and because you don't put in as much as you really should.
There is a limit for everyone, and I don't think I've stretched myself as far as I really should. There is always room to push oneself further, but with what consequences? I always wanted to be a high achiever in academics, and given another chance to start over in NUS, I believe I would have done things differently, worked harder and pushed myself to the max. But as it is, even with what I'm currently putting in, I'm compromising a whole lot of things just to study harder, and it would be dangerous to compromise further and lose myself. For what it is for man to gain the world, and lose his soul?
Nevertheless, a new semester is ahead, for me to strive harder and learn more before I leave university and enter the working world. And I believe, as always, God's grace is sufficient for me, and that is always enough for me to carry on.
Friday, December 11, 2009
First Holiday Post
Holidays have started so long ago and now's my first post since. LOL. I'm really a lazy blogger nowadays.
Simon drove Jon and I back to Malaysia - he was going down KL with Geri. The night before that was the best packing cum moving experience ever. I was searching for my lost ringgit somewhere among my haphazardly packed stuff, and by the time I was back to sealing boxes, Jon and Jerome had practically moved all my stuff from my room, and Tirza's things too. They were so quick that my sealing the boxes became the limiting factor! Thanks to them I hardly had to move anything at all. After arriving at Malaysia and doing some shopping for campus group, I stayed in Jon's house for a day and now I'm back home. Walked around Jusco in Seremban. Was really tired those few days so I didn't really want to walk around too much.
I'm supposed to do translating this Sunday but my Chinese is really dead this time round. This is what happens when you speak English like almost all the time in Singapore. I even speak English to Yew Hong half the time now! And the Chinese I speak is so conversational that I can hardly string a proper sentence together after looking at Pastor's notes. Thankfully my dad got those notes home earlier so I had some time to prepare. Unfortunately this week's sermon is rather technical, so it's going to be quite a challenge.
My aunt's family is here to stay at my grandparent's home in from Adelaide. My cousins are quite grown up now and conversations can be kind of awkward as all of us haven't seen each other for quite a long time, and our social background is really different by now. Hence, we were thinking of playing Monopoly to bridge the social gap, but I wonder if that's really going to be effective. With my slightly increased knowledge of existing board games, I do know that Monopoly is nowhere as exciting as Citadels and the likes of it. Hope they are not frequent visitors of board game cafes. The games in my house are more word-themed. Otherwise, the ever-versatile pack of cards would have to be the only other alternative.
Speaking of board games, to people who know that I like to play Bang! which is extinct from the shelves of Singapore shops, I just found out from XJ that it is actually sold in KL. However, I suppose I should forget on ever purchasing that for myself. It's a hefty RM 55 which can easily buy me two dresses or nice skirts or something like that at the right places. (Please don't get the wrong idea buy it for me either. I'm not hinting for a Christmas present! Even if I own it I would need at least 4 other people to play with me, which is harder to get than the game itself.)
Many other things happened besides. XJ came down to visit. I still can't bug Mable to start studying - nor start writing the Phoenix articles myself. I'd have to force myself to sit down and do it these few days. :S And I just found out that one of my project group mates last year is going to the same IA company as I am. Which would make it a much better experience, I feel, with someone I know around. I'm having trouble deciding which electives to take next year though. It's like indirectly trying to choose a major - and things would be much less complicated if I do not have to try and predict how positively skewed the bell-curves of each module would be, and whether I'll have time to take up a heavily project based module or not. All these are matters of life and death.
I know learning should be the utmost priority of every student and somehow I'm still struggling to make it so. This kiasu culture is not good for me. However, working in a company should be kind of a new start, and I do hope that I'd be able to learn much and enjoy doing so. :)
More holiday posts to come, hopefully!
Simon drove Jon and I back to Malaysia - he was going down KL with Geri. The night before that was the best packing cum moving experience ever. I was searching for my lost ringgit somewhere among my haphazardly packed stuff, and by the time I was back to sealing boxes, Jon and Jerome had practically moved all my stuff from my room, and Tirza's things too. They were so quick that my sealing the boxes became the limiting factor! Thanks to them I hardly had to move anything at all. After arriving at Malaysia and doing some shopping for campus group, I stayed in Jon's house for a day and now I'm back home. Walked around Jusco in Seremban. Was really tired those few days so I didn't really want to walk around too much.
I'm supposed to do translating this Sunday but my Chinese is really dead this time round. This is what happens when you speak English like almost all the time in Singapore. I even speak English to Yew Hong half the time now! And the Chinese I speak is so conversational that I can hardly string a proper sentence together after looking at Pastor's notes. Thankfully my dad got those notes home earlier so I had some time to prepare. Unfortunately this week's sermon is rather technical, so it's going to be quite a challenge.
My aunt's family is here to stay at my grandparent's home in from Adelaide. My cousins are quite grown up now and conversations can be kind of awkward as all of us haven't seen each other for quite a long time, and our social background is really different by now. Hence, we were thinking of playing Monopoly to bridge the social gap, but I wonder if that's really going to be effective. With my slightly increased knowledge of existing board games, I do know that Monopoly is nowhere as exciting as Citadels and the likes of it. Hope they are not frequent visitors of board game cafes. The games in my house are more word-themed. Otherwise, the ever-versatile pack of cards would have to be the only other alternative.
Speaking of board games, to people who know that I like to play Bang! which is extinct from the shelves of Singapore shops, I just found out from XJ that it is actually sold in KL. However, I suppose I should forget on ever purchasing that for myself. It's a hefty RM 55 which can easily buy me two dresses or nice skirts or something like that at the right places. (Please don't get the wrong idea buy it for me either. I'm not hinting for a Christmas present! Even if I own it I would need at least 4 other people to play with me, which is harder to get than the game itself.)
Many other things happened besides. XJ came down to visit. I still can't bug Mable to start studying - nor start writing the Phoenix articles myself. I'd have to force myself to sit down and do it these few days. :S And I just found out that one of my project group mates last year is going to the same IA company as I am. Which would make it a much better experience, I feel, with someone I know around. I'm having trouble deciding which electives to take next year though. It's like indirectly trying to choose a major - and things would be much less complicated if I do not have to try and predict how positively skewed the bell-curves of each module would be, and whether I'll have time to take up a heavily project based module or not. All these are matters of life and death.
I know learning should be the utmost priority of every student and somehow I'm still struggling to make it so. This kiasu culture is not good for me. However, working in a company should be kind of a new start, and I do hope that I'd be able to learn much and enjoy doing so. :)
More holiday posts to come, hopefully!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Exams are over :)
Exams are over! But I hope I won't get too much of a heart attack after seeing the results. The lecturers were really out to kill this time, and there were many laments of this nature across the whole cohort. Will trust God to keep me whatever the results!
I'm going back tomorrow - Simon's going down KL with Geri so he's fetching me and Jon along too, and he'll send us back home after that. Which means I won't have to be stuck in the train for like 5 hours or so (although a KL trip is longer but it's just a day trip). Thank God for Simon! Luckily I have some ringgit stashed away for use.
Packing the room is so not fun :( Although I could have finished in a very short time I took twice (or thrice) as long then I usually would. And thanks to hall events my t-shirts are multiplying as the years go by. I will have to move all of them and Tirza's things too in the middle of the night or something as today's schedule is packed full. I have a shopping mission (yes it's a mission as well as a leisure), a piano therapy date and Bible study at night.
I'll be having a coffee-free month for now unless I suddenly end up in Starbucks or Coffee been for some unkown reason. I always have anti-coffee roomies! Don't worry Tirza, I haven't been drinking much even during exam period. Been relying on pure excitement and stress to keep my eyes open, mostly.
Holiday plans include
1. Tutoring an SPM student. Muahaha.
2. Joining church Christmas events + serving in church.
3. Going back to SG for company orientation.
4. Trying to come up with an creative something - either song or a short short musical that I'm going to attempt to write myself for fun. So whoever reads this please don't think of asking me to craft anything serious k.
5. Playing piano playing piano playing piano.
6. Slacking +doing miscellaneous stuff at home.
7. Planning my electives.
8. Writing Phoenix articles!!! And I have a writers block once exams are over. Will bombard the people I want to interview with emails by next week.
Actually I have more things to say but I'm going out already. Will contiunue later.
I'm going back tomorrow - Simon's going down KL with Geri so he's fetching me and Jon along too, and he'll send us back home after that. Which means I won't have to be stuck in the train for like 5 hours or so (although a KL trip is longer but it's just a day trip). Thank God for Simon! Luckily I have some ringgit stashed away for use.
Packing the room is so not fun :( Although I could have finished in a very short time I took twice (or thrice) as long then I usually would. And thanks to hall events my t-shirts are multiplying as the years go by. I will have to move all of them and Tirza's things too in the middle of the night or something as today's schedule is packed full. I have a shopping mission (yes it's a mission as well as a leisure), a piano therapy date and Bible study at night.
I'll be having a coffee-free month for now unless I suddenly end up in Starbucks or Coffee been for some unkown reason. I always have anti-coffee roomies! Don't worry Tirza, I haven't been drinking much even during exam period. Been relying on pure excitement and stress to keep my eyes open, mostly.
Holiday plans include
1. Tutoring an SPM student. Muahaha.
2. Joining church Christmas events + serving in church.
3. Going back to SG for company orientation.
4. Trying to come up with an creative something - either song or a short short musical that I'm going to attempt to write myself for fun. So whoever reads this please don't think of asking me to craft anything serious k.
5. Playing piano playing piano playing piano.
6. Slacking +doing miscellaneous stuff at home.
7. Planning my electives.
8. Writing Phoenix articles!!! And I have a writers block once exams are over. Will bombard the people I want to interview with emails by next week.
Actually I have more things to say but I'm going out already. Will contiunue later.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Celebrating Daylight
It was 6 something in the morning and it was just so delightful when I took a walk to Cheers when everything was quiet and peaceful in Raffles Hall. Most residents were still asleep and the atmosphere of a sleeping NUS around the YIH area was so serene. But a few hours after that there will be noise and queues, the buses will start operating and a life of intense mugging will start.
You can't see the sun but the clouds show you it's there through their colors :)
This is not so pretty but it's a view from my room and I like it because it's my favorite room! The ground is empty because renovations killed all the grass but they will grow soon! The blocks on the right are still being renovated.
I realize that the main reason why I can actually start enjoying this morning when I'm not Wing Mei or any other 'nature-loving' person, but is that I don't have exams today. Pathetic reason, I know. But when I have a stressful papers coming up in just a few hours, daybreak after mugging through the night is really not very welcome because it means I have less time to cover whatever I need to cover. And it's the time I start feeling really tired.
My exams are not over yet. One paper down, three more to go next Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Then Tirza told me yesterday, that Simon told her Wayne's going back to Hong Kong on the 30th (next Monday). He asked me and the other campus people out for dinner last night quite a number of days before but I turned down the invitation because I had very limited time to mug for exams, and I didn't know he was going back HK for good so soon! Fortunately I got the news early enough and actually took quite long to decide whether to go or not because my revision progress was terribly slow and anything might potentially make me go a letter grade down or more in exams. In the end I decided to go, and went. In fact I felt terrible even considering not going even after knowing that I won't be seeing Wayne again (till someone get's married, he promised to come back to Singapore if any one of us got married). What in the world has exams turned me into, even considering not saying farewell to a friend (and Yeh Yeh!) for the last time! Horrible.
It was a fun night out and Simon and Jiun Ming were very kind because Simon fetched us to Sakae Sushi in Marina Bay for that farewell dinner, and JM fetched us back. :D They are always generous with their time and petrol! Pictures of the farewell dinner will be up after exams. In fact I didn't take too many because I saw Wayne brought his own camera and I got lazy. I wish he didn't have to go back HK though because I miss him already! Maybe it's because I know I won't be seeing him again (till someone gets married) and also we're both from the Lee family (although his is 'Li' in Chinese it's the same) and I call him Yeh Yeh, and I still owe him ice-cream for his birthday! Wayne, if you're reading this I'll treat you ice-cream if you come for Friday BS before going home. Or after you come back to Singapore again one day.
I was in JM's car on the way home and was so tired I was nodding away on the way back. Still as we passed by the city area I saw all the lights and then again thought that Singapore would be such a lovely place if it was not all about meritocracy and stress. The daybreak today was so nice, the environment so peaceful and green, the city was clean and beautiful. It would be so perfect, as it even seems now when I'm a student and not yet exposed to the stress in the working world. Even taking exams as a student has distorted me so much. How much more will I change after I work?
Somehow my thoughts remind me about this all-famous story about peace:
Ahh! I have so much to learn! I need more faith. Open my eyes and let me see, Lord. Let me see and acknowledge there's the sun behind the clouds and the Lord behind the nature I behold penerates and guides over every little detail of my life for His glory.
On the way back to my room.
You can't see the sun but the clouds show you it's there through their colors :)You can't see God but nature shows you He's there and has orchestrated their beauty.
This is not so pretty but it's a view from my room and I like it because it's my favorite room! The ground is empty because renovations killed all the grass but they will grow soon! The blocks on the right are still being renovated.I realize that the main reason why I can actually start enjoying this morning when I'm not Wing Mei or any other 'nature-loving' person, but is that I don't have exams today. Pathetic reason, I know. But when I have a stressful papers coming up in just a few hours, daybreak after mugging through the night is really not very welcome because it means I have less time to cover whatever I need to cover. And it's the time I start feeling really tired.
My exams are not over yet. One paper down, three more to go next Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Then Tirza told me yesterday, that Simon told her Wayne's going back to Hong Kong on the 30th (next Monday). He asked me and the other campus people out for dinner last night quite a number of days before but I turned down the invitation because I had very limited time to mug for exams, and I didn't know he was going back HK for good so soon! Fortunately I got the news early enough and actually took quite long to decide whether to go or not because my revision progress was terribly slow and anything might potentially make me go a letter grade down or more in exams. In the end I decided to go, and went. In fact I felt terrible even considering not going even after knowing that I won't be seeing Wayne again (till someone get's married, he promised to come back to Singapore if any one of us got married). What in the world has exams turned me into, even considering not saying farewell to a friend (and Yeh Yeh!) for the last time! Horrible.
It was a fun night out and Simon and Jiun Ming were very kind because Simon fetched us to Sakae Sushi in Marina Bay for that farewell dinner, and JM fetched us back. :D They are always generous with their time and petrol! Pictures of the farewell dinner will be up after exams. In fact I didn't take too many because I saw Wayne brought his own camera and I got lazy. I wish he didn't have to go back HK though because I miss him already! Maybe it's because I know I won't be seeing him again (till someone gets married) and also we're both from the Lee family (although his is 'Li' in Chinese it's the same) and I call him Yeh Yeh, and I still owe him ice-cream for his birthday! Wayne, if you're reading this I'll treat you ice-cream if you come for Friday BS before going home. Or after you come back to Singapore again one day.
I was in JM's car on the way home and was so tired I was nodding away on the way back. Still as we passed by the city area I saw all the lights and then again thought that Singapore would be such a lovely place if it was not all about meritocracy and stress. The daybreak today was so nice, the environment so peaceful and green, the city was clean and beautiful. It would be so perfect, as it even seems now when I'm a student and not yet exposed to the stress in the working world. Even taking exams as a student has distorted me so much. How much more will I change after I work?
Somehow my thoughts remind me about this all-famous story about peace:
Years ago a major art gallery sponsored a competition for painters. They were offering prizes for the best painting on the subject of "Peace." As attenders browsed through the entries, most had decided that a one certain painting was almost sure to win. It portrayed this lush green pasture under a vivid blue sky, with the cows grazing lazily and a little boy walking through the grass with his fishing pole over his shoulder. It really made you feel peaceful. But it came in second. The painting that won was a real surprise. The scene was the ocean in a violent storm. The sky was ominous, the lightning was cutting across the sky, and the waves were crashing into the rock walls of the cliffs by the shore. No peace. But you had to look twice to understand what was going on. There, about halfway up the cliff, was a birds' nest, tucked into a tiny hollow in the rock. A mother bird was sitting on that nest - with her little babies, tucked underneath her, sleeping soundly. That was peace!True peace - is not walking under the daybreak sunlight knowing that there are no exams today. Real peace is walking into the exam hall knowing that I've done all I could and God is holding my hand. Real peace is not fretting over results when exams are over, not fretting over job search after I graduate, knowing I've done all I can and God takes care of my future, only providing the best for me. Peace is knowing that even in Singapore, I can take time to enjoy daybreaks and sunsets, because each today is a gift, and tomorrow is well taken-care of and provided for.
Ahh! I have so much to learn! I need more faith. Open my eyes and let me see, Lord. Let me see and acknowledge there's the sun behind the clouds and the Lord behind the nature I behold penerates and guides over every little detail of my life for His glory.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Driven by Dependence
I updated my status message in Facebook: When Diligence and Determination do not work, Desperation must. One of my quotable quotes. =p
Simon commented and asked me not to forget Dependence. Wonderful reminder! Thank God for desperation for it drives us to turn to Him. Sometimes I worry and think about too many things and lose the joy in God because I forget to depend on Him.
And it's not just my studies, it's more than that. It's seeking sufficiency from Him in advancing first and foremost the glory of His kingdom.
The song below is very meaningful and I think besides being a reminder that God's grace is sufficient for us to meet our daily needs, it also causes us to think of the reasons why we seek God's grace. Not just to meet the needs of self, but to glory God's name in reaching out to others.
Grace Alone
Every promise we can make
Every prayer and step of faith
Every difference we will make
Is only by His grace
Every mountain we will climb
Every ray of hope we shine
Every blessing left behind
Is only by His grace
Grace alone which God supplies
Strength unknown He will provide
Christ in us our cornerstone
We will go forth in grace alone
Every soul we long to reach
Every heart we hope to teach
Everywhere we share His peace
It's only by His grace
Every loving word we say
Every tear we wipe away
Every sorrow turned to praise
It's only by His grace
Simon commented and asked me not to forget Dependence. Wonderful reminder! Thank God for desperation for it drives us to turn to Him. Sometimes I worry and think about too many things and lose the joy in God because I forget to depend on Him.
And it's not just my studies, it's more than that. It's seeking sufficiency from Him in advancing first and foremost the glory of His kingdom.
The song below is very meaningful and I think besides being a reminder that God's grace is sufficient for us to meet our daily needs, it also causes us to think of the reasons why we seek God's grace. Not just to meet the needs of self, but to glory God's name in reaching out to others.
Grace Alone
Every promise we can make
Every prayer and step of faith
Every difference we will make
Is only by His grace
Every mountain we will climb
Every ray of hope we shine
Every blessing left behind
Is only by His grace
Grace alone which God supplies
Strength unknown He will provide
Christ in us our cornerstone
We will go forth in grace alone
Every soul we long to reach
Every heart we hope to teach
Everywhere we share His peace
It's only by His grace
Every loving word we say
Every tear we wipe away
Every sorrow turned to praise
It's only by His grace
情歌
I heart this song! Though somehow the MV doesn't go together with the lyrics, but both are nice! Especially the part when the guy comes in and starts singing too (I think this version is only in the MV and not the original sound track). And the fact most of the song is actually played using guitar! The reason why I'm watching this is I'm waiting for my webcast to load. Yes I know it's horrible to still be webcasting in study week, but I had no time (nor mood) to attend lectures due to projects and piling assignments, readings and CA's! Sigh.
Anyway, my sleeping hours are all messed up now (as usual) and I seem to be constantly distracted or sleeping! Argh. Hopefully will be able to buck up more.
And Tirza, I'm really getting influenced by you! I'm listening to Yiruma songs also :)
Anyway, my sleeping hours are all messed up now (as usual) and I seem to be constantly distracted or sleeping! Argh. Hopefully will be able to buck up more.
And Tirza, I'm really getting influenced by you! I'm listening to Yiruma songs also :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Reading Week
This is the time of the year where all the frantic mugging starts. My project life ended yesterday (Friday), and the last project report will be handed in on Monday. With all these projects and presentations, during reading week, I actually feel glad to be able to start mugging at last, and catch up with some of my webcasts. Sigh - I'm actually glad to start mugging! I feel terribly left behind.
The project and lab presentations were OK. We had some mistake in our report for the Separations project, but the professor was quite nice about it. I heard that some groups had some rather 'violent' reactions, and though I wish our answers were correct, at least it didn't go too badly, and I'd rather not think about it again now.
Lab presentation was the best. The professor who listened to us was very encouraging and positive, and was not intimidating at all. He even invited us to sit down during our presentations, only my group members were more at ease with standing up and pointing to the screen. In fact, he was so nice, that we took a little extra time in presenting. In the end, he seemed to be hardly listening to what I was saying (I had the last section of the presentation), and kept on agreeing and nodding instead. I suppose he wanted to speed up the presentation so that the next lab group could come in on time. I wish all professors were like him. LOL.
Hmm. I suddenly ran out of content on what to blog about. My life is so confined to my studies, there's not much breathing space already.
Yesterday during Bible Study we had a short discussion, on whether when it shows when a person is living a life for the glory of God. I still think it shows, despite people being unpredictable and all that. There's some people who are burning with this warmth and it is all very transparent in their character. Of course not all people. I'm not very sure about most of my brethren, but those I'm sure about, I know :) You just feel it. And I wish I had that very same warmth and light emitting through me. It's not easy to have that. There's a lot of sacrifices, and a lot of time to be put in. I wish that I would have enough faith and love to put in all those time and effort, and enough faith not to be discouraged as I always am.
The project and lab presentations were OK. We had some mistake in our report for the Separations project, but the professor was quite nice about it. I heard that some groups had some rather 'violent' reactions, and though I wish our answers were correct, at least it didn't go too badly, and I'd rather not think about it again now.
Lab presentation was the best. The professor who listened to us was very encouraging and positive, and was not intimidating at all. He even invited us to sit down during our presentations, only my group members were more at ease with standing up and pointing to the screen. In fact, he was so nice, that we took a little extra time in presenting. In the end, he seemed to be hardly listening to what I was saying (I had the last section of the presentation), and kept on agreeing and nodding instead. I suppose he wanted to speed up the presentation so that the next lab group could come in on time. I wish all professors were like him. LOL.
Hmm. I suddenly ran out of content on what to blog about. My life is so confined to my studies, there's not much breathing space already.
Yesterday during Bible Study we had a short discussion, on whether when it shows when a person is living a life for the glory of God. I still think it shows, despite people being unpredictable and all that. There's some people who are burning with this warmth and it is all very transparent in their character. Of course not all people. I'm not very sure about most of my brethren, but those I'm sure about, I know :) You just feel it. And I wish I had that very same warmth and light emitting through me. It's not easy to have that. There's a lot of sacrifices, and a lot of time to be put in. I wish that I would have enough faith and love to put in all those time and effort, and enough faith not to be discouraged as I always am.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Hours before presentations
My sleep time-table has gone haywire again.
I'll be having two presentations tomorrow. One for project and another for lab. This is the worst time for presentations ever. All of us want to start studying for finals but can't really do so because we have to prepare for our presentations. There's the slides, the speech and the ever challenging effort of sticking to the time allocated when you have this vast amount of slides to finish. Then after today's presentations there will be a mid=terms test for HYSYS on Friday.
I managed to squeeze both my presentations nicely within the time limit, but I do hope I am clear enough and coherent enough to be understood. Actually, after talking to some of my friends who have done their presentations, I realized that time isn't an all-important factor after all, but just a rough estimate by lecturers. They do chip in and ask questions half-way through.
The lab presentation's the worst. It's held like some 12 hours later and some of my lab partners are still editing slides. Mine are done but I don't fully understand what I'm presenting. Isn't that horrible or what. The professor in charge said the aim of this presentation is more to let us get a hang of what presentations are like. (Like we don't know that yet!) But still, the good point is we don't need to submit our lab reports. Hmm. I can't really decide which is worse.
Just got all my welfare packs for exams and the quality has deteriorated much since last year. I thought last year we should have goodie bags that are smaller because of the economic downturns, but looks like we're just coming the feel the effects this year! Still, I should be grateful for being able to have goodie bags during exam period at least. Having sourced for sponsorships myself I do know it's not easy to get them, although being able to advertise having product exposure to the whole of NUS helps.
Hmm that's all for today I guess. I've been drinking coffee daily lately :( Can't help it.
I'll be having two presentations tomorrow. One for project and another for lab. This is the worst time for presentations ever. All of us want to start studying for finals but can't really do so because we have to prepare for our presentations. There's the slides, the speech and the ever challenging effort of sticking to the time allocated when you have this vast amount of slides to finish. Then after today's presentations there will be a mid=terms test for HYSYS on Friday.
I managed to squeeze both my presentations nicely within the time limit, but I do hope I am clear enough and coherent enough to be understood. Actually, after talking to some of my friends who have done their presentations, I realized that time isn't an all-important factor after all, but just a rough estimate by lecturers. They do chip in and ask questions half-way through.
The lab presentation's the worst. It's held like some 12 hours later and some of my lab partners are still editing slides. Mine are done but I don't fully understand what I'm presenting. Isn't that horrible or what. The professor in charge said the aim of this presentation is more to let us get a hang of what presentations are like. (Like we don't know that yet!) But still, the good point is we don't need to submit our lab reports. Hmm. I can't really decide which is worse.
Just got all my welfare packs for exams and the quality has deteriorated much since last year. I thought last year we should have goodie bags that are smaller because of the economic downturns, but looks like we're just coming the feel the effects this year! Still, I should be grateful for being able to have goodie bags during exam period at least. Having sourced for sponsorships myself I do know it's not easy to get them, although being able to advertise having product exposure to the whole of NUS helps.
Hmm that's all for today I guess. I've been drinking coffee daily lately :( Can't help it.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
All-Girls Dinner
We just had an all-girls dinner! Oh well, with the exception of papa Phea, who was actually the main reason why we all went out. He felt weird being the only guy.
Zhi Jun had uploaded this picture on Facebook, and there was a long train of comments underneath by us who were inside. We decided that those of us in school should go out and eat. Haha. I just realized this photo in Phoenix was just taken by my camera.
Miss our year one times when we all always got together for dinners, celebrated birthdays, and frequently met up. Now all of us are so busy that we seldom eat together. So it was quite nice that Phea, Zhi Jun, Wen Qiao, Tirza, Lin Yan and I had dinner together tonight at Clementi. It was fried rice, and bee hoon with clams and it only cost us $3.50 each.
After dinner, we girls shopped like forever in Fair Price while Phea waited outside. He walked home, but we took the bus. Hope we can have get-togethers like this more often, with the rest around. Now I hardly see Alex and Li Wei, and both Swee Yee and Piang Piang are enjoying SEP overseas.
GLCC Campus celebrated Nick and Lydia's birthdays last Friday too. Photos in my Facebook album. I wish I had more time for campus too. Sometimes we really need to fork time out for people and relationships, but school work really drains me out now, and instead of that I have to fork time to sleep! I really need to reorganize myself. :(
Zhi Jun had uploaded this picture on Facebook, and there was a long train of comments underneath by us who were inside. We decided that those of us in school should go out and eat. Haha. I just realized this photo in Phoenix was just taken by my camera.
Miss our year one times when we all always got together for dinners, celebrated birthdays, and frequently met up. Now all of us are so busy that we seldom eat together. So it was quite nice that Phea, Zhi Jun, Wen Qiao, Tirza, Lin Yan and I had dinner together tonight at Clementi. It was fried rice, and bee hoon with clams and it only cost us $3.50 each.
After dinner, we girls shopped like forever in Fair Price while Phea waited outside. He walked home, but we took the bus. Hope we can have get-togethers like this more often, with the rest around. Now I hardly see Alex and Li Wei, and both Swee Yee and Piang Piang are enjoying SEP overseas.
GLCC Campus celebrated Nick and Lydia's birthdays last Friday too. Photos in my Facebook album. I wish I had more time for campus too. Sometimes we really need to fork time out for people and relationships, but school work really drains me out now, and instead of that I have to fork time to sleep! I really need to reorganize myself. :(
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Reaping and Sowing
Just corresponded with my teacher in Facebook, and somehow when studies where mentioned, I remarked that students should cherish the day when they reap what they sow, i.e. get good results if they study hard enough.
Suddenly I had this thought: If later in the working world, what you put in is not equal to what you get out, they why should we be trained, or even start to learn to think this way? Why should we work hard to get good results, when in the end, there will always be people better than you in the end?
I read someone else's comment on Facebook. It's not fair, he said, that he should put in more and still get nothing much out of it. Another friend who read the comment said simply, 'Life is fair'.
Yes, it's easy for someone to say life is fair when they are on the bell curve, when they are smarter, faster, and maybe have the ability to work harder. What is fair? Is the bell curve fair? Singaporean students are pushed to work and excel in every area. They are kiasu and hardy, they learn how to be competitive and strive for the things they want. But in the end, not all will end up at the top. Someone will always have to lose out. Does the perspective of 'fair' change according to what end of the bell curve you are at?
Why do we learn to be good and diligent and work hard, when in real life, reaping and sowing are two different things? Why is a student taught to chase after his dreams at whatever cost, only to be disheartened and forced to give it up?
I find myself trying to answer these questions as I type.
I guess it's like a farmer would always have to sow and reap no matter how his crop turns out. It's his livelihood. He can't control the rain or sun, or how the crop turns out. It's just something he has to do no matter what. From young the child is taught to plough and plant so that when he grows up he can survive. And as the complexity of life and circumstances increase as he grows, he realizes that the crop turnouts may not be fine. He can't change that, but he can change himself. He can't change the nature of the field and his crops, but he can be innovative and find creative ways to solve problems. He can also always be joyous and depend on God to provide.
It's just like us in Engineering learning how to use simple models to solve real life problems. In reality, the things we are calculating are much more complex, and the models we use are a mere estimate, just like the concept 'you reap what you sow', and may not be applicable in all circumstnaces. But the little basic model, far-fetched and useless it may seem in the long run, would prove to be valuable for the learning and derivation of more complex solutions to a problem.
Life cannot always be fair. This world is struck and marred so much that it is imperfect. Disasters strike, circumstances turn one topsy turvy. The guy whom you are envious of because of what he has and what he can achieve may lose what is most precious to him the next day. People who slog hard to earn a position and their possessions lose it all in a blink of an eye, just like the day when the World Trade Center crashed down.
There are many unfair things in this world, so much that we're numbed to those that do not concern ourselves. So much that we see the only unfair things are us working for that academic cert which might not last until goodness knows when. But one thing I know that is unfair: Christ cruficified for my sake, and all I do is focus on small little things like this when I should be concerned over bigger things for Him.
Suddenly I had this thought: If later in the working world, what you put in is not equal to what you get out, they why should we be trained, or even start to learn to think this way? Why should we work hard to get good results, when in the end, there will always be people better than you in the end?
I read someone else's comment on Facebook. It's not fair, he said, that he should put in more and still get nothing much out of it. Another friend who read the comment said simply, 'Life is fair'.
Yes, it's easy for someone to say life is fair when they are on the bell curve, when they are smarter, faster, and maybe have the ability to work harder. What is fair? Is the bell curve fair? Singaporean students are pushed to work and excel in every area. They are kiasu and hardy, they learn how to be competitive and strive for the things they want. But in the end, not all will end up at the top. Someone will always have to lose out. Does the perspective of 'fair' change according to what end of the bell curve you are at?
Why do we learn to be good and diligent and work hard, when in real life, reaping and sowing are two different things? Why is a student taught to chase after his dreams at whatever cost, only to be disheartened and forced to give it up?
I find myself trying to answer these questions as I type.
I guess it's like a farmer would always have to sow and reap no matter how his crop turns out. It's his livelihood. He can't control the rain or sun, or how the crop turns out. It's just something he has to do no matter what. From young the child is taught to plough and plant so that when he grows up he can survive. And as the complexity of life and circumstances increase as he grows, he realizes that the crop turnouts may not be fine. He can't change that, but he can change himself. He can't change the nature of the field and his crops, but he can be innovative and find creative ways to solve problems. He can also always be joyous and depend on God to provide.
It's just like us in Engineering learning how to use simple models to solve real life problems. In reality, the things we are calculating are much more complex, and the models we use are a mere estimate, just like the concept 'you reap what you sow', and may not be applicable in all circumstnaces. But the little basic model, far-fetched and useless it may seem in the long run, would prove to be valuable for the learning and derivation of more complex solutions to a problem.
Life cannot always be fair. This world is struck and marred so much that it is imperfect. Disasters strike, circumstances turn one topsy turvy. The guy whom you are envious of because of what he has and what he can achieve may lose what is most precious to him the next day. People who slog hard to earn a position and their possessions lose it all in a blink of an eye, just like the day when the World Trade Center crashed down.
There are many unfair things in this world, so much that we're numbed to those that do not concern ourselves. So much that we see the only unfair things are us working for that academic cert which might not last until goodness knows when. But one thing I know that is unfair: Christ cruficified for my sake, and all I do is focus on small little things like this when I should be concerned over bigger things for Him.
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
The great High Priest who's name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands
my name is written on His heart
I know that while in heav'n He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin
Because of the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Behold he lives the risen Lamb
My perfect spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I Am
The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and My God
With Christ my Savior and My God
I have a strong and perfect plea
The great High Priest who's name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands
my name is written on His heart
I know that while in heav'n He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin
Because of the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Behold he lives the risen Lamb
My perfect spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I Am
The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and My God
With Christ my Savior and My God
Yes we hate all things unfair. But yet, I shudder to think in this case, what if things had been fair. No unfairness I go through in life, would be worthy of mention before this uneven exchange, my soul for His life.
p/s: I love this song! :) Thanks JonC for intro-ing it in Sunday worship!
p/s: I love this song! :) Thanks JonC for intro-ing it in Sunday worship!
Monday, November 2, 2009
I Found Someone I Didn't Quite Realize I Lost
I didn't know that I had changed so much over less than two years in NUS. Myself.
Was reading this blog post because I dug it out when Simon and Tirza mentioned the song I posted once. That was around 1.5 years ago.
I knew there were quite a lot of things I didn't like about myself back then. But now when I looked back, I see I took some things for granted. I thought I would always be optimistic, and unaffected by the cares of this world. I thought I would always wholeheartedly rely on God to take care of me. I thought I would always hold true to the values I felt were to be held on to.
Apparently, too much concern over how I have been doing academically have been causing me to let go of things. And it is qutie painful to realize that I have allowed this rat race to shape me so much.
The race itself is not a bad thing. It opened up my mind to see how much I could learn and humbled me before others. If others moan about mediocrity, all I wanted to be was just 'another average student', instead of one trying to catch up with the average student. It made me see and feel how I never really felt before back in my younger days - inferior.
But the desire to catch up and pull myself back up had caused me to burn bridges, and burn myself too. I know my CAP is not worth all of this. But somehow I couldn't stop.
Somehow I wish I had the courage to love, serve, and have passion for other things again, rather than letting my CAP cast a shadow over everything I do in my university life. It is very sad.
I wish I would just be able to learn without thinking too much about the results. Play the piano as much as I want without thinking about how it eats up my study hours. Blog freely instead of moan about how hard I've been studying - it's so pointless doing so. And spend more time with my friends, and other people, instead of wondering how long each outing and each talk will take, and again, whether it will cut my study time short.
I know that there are expectations for me to work hard, but I wonder if they would even exist if they knew that I'd become someone like this. And worse of all, the highest and most pressing expectations come from myself.
I read so many blogs about studies nowadays and how burdened people are about them. And I don't want to become just another one of them. God has a plan for me out there. And I just need to take that step of faith to trust.
Right now I had just forced myself to sleep off the effects of caffeine wakefulness, and so that my tired eyes could get a rest after working overnight. I'm going to force myself to slog again through the night. It is the same routine, before and after this blog post.
But perhaps, I could add in some peace, with the reminder that God is taking care of me, and I'm not just another average Joe, riding against the waves of academic excellence, to find yet another 9-5 job. I'm supposed to live a life God has planned for me, and not live it after I graduate. I should live it out now. And I know that life is not being a slave to mugging, which I have already made myself to be.
“There is fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains.
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he, wash all my sins away.
Wash all my sins away, wash all my sins away.
And there may I, though vile as he, wash all my sins away.
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood shall never lose its power
’Til all the ransomed church of God be saved to sin no more.
Be saved to sin no more, be saved to sin no more.
’Til all the ransomed church of God be saved to sin no more.
E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be ’til I die.
And shall be ’til I die, and shall be ’til I die.
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be ’til I die.
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Thy pow’r to save.
I’ll sing Thy pow’r to save, I’ll sing Thy pow’r to save.
Redeeming love has been my theme. Why should I bond myself in chains when I have already been set free.
Thank God for this reminder of freedom.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Of Bazaars, Balloons, and Hall Spirit
Today I did the last part of my Bazaar aux. And I still love bazaar auxes! The fact that it was going to be the 'my last aux for life!' made it even more exhilarating.
As expected, there were no vendors between 9-10 am. Rafflesians down in central forum were few too, as many had their time slots in Monday and Tuesday instead of Wednesday. I managed to study and slack for the first hour.
Around 10.30 am, we were asked to publicize the RH recruitment drive for RH Pub. Interested RHesidents-to-be were asked to fill in a form, and then, they would be able to get a packet of free goodies. There was a hoop game too to attract attention. If they threw the hoop round anything on the table, they'd be able to get whatever the hoop went over. Yew Hong got a can of Pringles! There were also other gimmicks like flyers and Halloween lucky draw vouchers, top prize being a camera! Sigh! Why don't they save these goodies for existing Rafflesians instead? I never knew RH Pub had such a high budget allowance. :( Or maybe they sourced for both the money and goodies themselves.
There was another RH-Pub booth at the back of the forum too, showcasing photos taken for the New Beginnings photo competition. Sijia soon had this idea of asking all the vendors in Central forum to hang a balloon with the words Raffles Hall Hallwarming (10 Nov, 4 pm) on it, to attract attention to our poor little booth. Hence they blew up loads and loads of green balloons with a helium tank yesterday, and we were supposed to draw on the balloons.
This was when that I found that the guy giving us the balloons was in RH next year and was a junior of mine. I was rather appalled by the fact that I had a non-phantom junior in hall that I never got to know about.
Anyway, as I said on my facebook status, balloons self-destruct in my hands. I only held four. 1 flew away. Two burst when i was writing on them (and I did not exert that much force). Only the last balloon survived. :( Somehow wearing a green shirt, and writing on green balloons to promote hall suddenly made me feel that I'm very much a Rafflesian. This kind of feeling I don't get in hall despite the nice and exciting activities lined up for us this year. I remember when I last felt this... it was during IHG when then again all of us were wearing green and cheering for sports (either volleyball or handball, I forgot). And another time when we were supporting float.
Maybe I just feel that I belong when I'm in green, working with a bunch of people in green too, to showcase our hall to outsiders. And this is a funny time to feel all patriotric about hall, but yes, I like Raffles Hall a lot, after years of staying here. The way of life here is nice :) And yes, I do not really like how things are done in hall most of the time, but still there's something that pulls me back and makes me stay rooted to it.
At 12 pm I went back to hall, ending my very last aux in RH. And I still think bazaar auxes are the best aux to join :D
As expected, there were no vendors between 9-10 am. Rafflesians down in central forum were few too, as many had their time slots in Monday and Tuesday instead of Wednesday. I managed to study and slack for the first hour.
Around 10.30 am, we were asked to publicize the RH recruitment drive for RH Pub. Interested RHesidents-to-be were asked to fill in a form, and then, they would be able to get a packet of free goodies. There was a hoop game too to attract attention. If they threw the hoop round anything on the table, they'd be able to get whatever the hoop went over. Yew Hong got a can of Pringles! There were also other gimmicks like flyers and Halloween lucky draw vouchers, top prize being a camera! Sigh! Why don't they save these goodies for existing Rafflesians instead? I never knew RH Pub had such a high budget allowance. :( Or maybe they sourced for both the money and goodies themselves.
There was another RH-Pub booth at the back of the forum too, showcasing photos taken for the New Beginnings photo competition. Sijia soon had this idea of asking all the vendors in Central forum to hang a balloon with the words Raffles Hall Hallwarming (10 Nov, 4 pm) on it, to attract attention to our poor little booth. Hence they blew up loads and loads of green balloons with a helium tank yesterday, and we were supposed to draw on the balloons.
This was when that I found that the guy giving us the balloons was in RH next year and was a junior of mine. I was rather appalled by the fact that I had a non-phantom junior in hall that I never got to know about.Anyway, as I said on my facebook status, balloons self-destruct in my hands. I only held four. 1 flew away. Two burst when i was writing on them (and I did not exert that much force). Only the last balloon survived. :( Somehow wearing a green shirt, and writing on green balloons to promote hall suddenly made me feel that I'm very much a Rafflesian. This kind of feeling I don't get in hall despite the nice and exciting activities lined up for us this year. I remember when I last felt this... it was during IHG when then again all of us were wearing green and cheering for sports (either volleyball or handball, I forgot). And another time when we were supporting float.
Maybe I just feel that I belong when I'm in green, working with a bunch of people in green too, to showcase our hall to outsiders. And this is a funny time to feel all patriotric about hall, but yes, I like Raffles Hall a lot, after years of staying here. The way of life here is nice :) And yes, I do not really like how things are done in hall most of the time, but still there's something that pulls me back and makes me stay rooted to it.
At 12 pm I went back to hall, ending my very last aux in RH. And I still think bazaar auxes are the best aux to join :D
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
My body runs on grace
My body runs on grace now. And caffeine as well.
Week 11 is a happening week. The project deadline on Separations is crowding in, and we're meeting despite mid-terms preparations for next week. My own progress has been particularly slow, and my state of mind is getting more and more blurred by the day. I hope I didn't weigh down the group too much. Thank God for their understanding and patience.
RH bazaar, aka my Aux of the Year falls within this week. It's my favorite aux because a bazaar is interesting to be at in the first place. This year however, OSA has banned the selling of food that is cooked on-spot (think fire hazards and all that), so there were people complaining that they had no food to eat when their stomachs were growling for lunch. I split my 8 hours into 3 days. 2 hours on Monday, 3 on Tuesday and 3 on Wednesday.
The three hours yesterday was quite well-spent. I was there as early as 9 am and most of the vendors were not even there yet. Hence, there were many empty tables and chairs, so I pulled out my notes and started mugging. Obviously, I didn't manage to stay focused for long, but at least I covered a bit of my notes, which was better than nothing. The rest of the time was spent moaning to Jiun Tat (my junior) about how troublesome projects are and how they get into the way of studying, and how lucky he is to be able to escape projects after the revision of syllabus for his coming semester. There was this stall selling laptop skins and keyboard protectors with very interesting designs nearby, so I talked to some juniors about that too, and poked around the Biz Comm stall to see what they were selling. I wish I didn't have such a short attention span!
Since I mentioned caffeine earlier, it is interesting how I managed to survive these days. I took a long afternoon nap on Sunday (around 5 hours because I hardly slept the night before), and after that I didn't sleep till Monday night. I think I spent 5 hours sleeping on Monday night, another 5 today, and I feel strangely alert to stay up tonight as well. Thank God for his grace for my alertness despite so little sleep! Usually I must sleep around 8 hours a day in order to function properly. I haven't been overdosing on caffeine too... maybe just 1.5 cups a day? LOL. And somehow my body doesn't seem to need supper any more. I hope this doesn't mean I'll lose weight again.
There's a performance on Thursday night, meaning my night is gone. My group had finally managed to have a satisfactory practice though. It had been fun practicing with Jia Shen, Jerold, Shanqi and Chuanbo. I doubt that I'll have the chance to play with them again after this. Or play in any other cultural performance for the academic year for this matter. My industrial attachment is really going to take away all the time I have available for practices in hall. Fortunately I would still be able to contribute in Phoenix Times. I like writing for Phoenix, but now I realize that there's so many good writers in RH that I feel I have so much more to learn from them!
The seconds tick by, and the night goes on. Back to my notes I go.
Week 11 is a happening week. The project deadline on Separations is crowding in, and we're meeting despite mid-terms preparations for next week. My own progress has been particularly slow, and my state of mind is getting more and more blurred by the day. I hope I didn't weigh down the group too much. Thank God for their understanding and patience.
RH bazaar, aka my Aux of the Year falls within this week. It's my favorite aux because a bazaar is interesting to be at in the first place. This year however, OSA has banned the selling of food that is cooked on-spot (think fire hazards and all that), so there were people complaining that they had no food to eat when their stomachs were growling for lunch. I split my 8 hours into 3 days. 2 hours on Monday, 3 on Tuesday and 3 on Wednesday.
The three hours yesterday was quite well-spent. I was there as early as 9 am and most of the vendors were not even there yet. Hence, there were many empty tables and chairs, so I pulled out my notes and started mugging. Obviously, I didn't manage to stay focused for long, but at least I covered a bit of my notes, which was better than nothing. The rest of the time was spent moaning to Jiun Tat (my junior) about how troublesome projects are and how they get into the way of studying, and how lucky he is to be able to escape projects after the revision of syllabus for his coming semester. There was this stall selling laptop skins and keyboard protectors with very interesting designs nearby, so I talked to some juniors about that too, and poked around the Biz Comm stall to see what they were selling. I wish I didn't have such a short attention span!
Since I mentioned caffeine earlier, it is interesting how I managed to survive these days. I took a long afternoon nap on Sunday (around 5 hours because I hardly slept the night before), and after that I didn't sleep till Monday night. I think I spent 5 hours sleeping on Monday night, another 5 today, and I feel strangely alert to stay up tonight as well. Thank God for his grace for my alertness despite so little sleep! Usually I must sleep around 8 hours a day in order to function properly. I haven't been overdosing on caffeine too... maybe just 1.5 cups a day? LOL. And somehow my body doesn't seem to need supper any more. I hope this doesn't mean I'll lose weight again.
There's a performance on Thursday night, meaning my night is gone. My group had finally managed to have a satisfactory practice though. It had been fun practicing with Jia Shen, Jerold, Shanqi and Chuanbo. I doubt that I'll have the chance to play with them again after this. Or play in any other cultural performance for the academic year for this matter. My industrial attachment is really going to take away all the time I have available for practices in hall. Fortunately I would still be able to contribute in Phoenix Times. I like writing for Phoenix, but now I realize that there's so many good writers in RH that I feel I have so much more to learn from them!
The seconds tick by, and the night goes on. Back to my notes I go.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Contentment
After the (relatively) depressing post below, I realized that I need a reminder to be contented with the lot I have. I got that reminder this morning.
I may not have enough sleep, but I am still healthy.
My grades may not be good, but I still get to go into university. And despite of everything negative I say about uni life here, deep down I still enjoy it.
My family may have expectations for me, but they never pressure me. In fact they show they care a lot for me.
I am not a fast learner in school, but then at least I have a chance to learn the things I learn, and many more lessons in life besides.
I may not excel among my peers, but I found good friends in them. Thanks Yew Hong, Mei, Kasun, Gant, and the rest! :)
I may not turn out rich, or have a glamorous job, but God will take care of me.
I may not have everything in the world, but I have Christ, who is more than everything in the world. How can I not be contented? :)
The quote goes: Lack of contentment makes a rich man poor; contentment makes a poor man rich. To me, contentment opens my eyes to behold how rich this poor girl actually is, for in Christ, nothing I lack.
我是非常非常幸福的.
Staying Awake
Argh. I hate dosing myself with coffee each day, and then dosing myself with milk to get more calcium in. I wonder how I spend on coffee each month. Must be a small fortune.
I do not like staying awake four hours a day. Which is what I think I'm going to have to do this week in order to make multiple ends meet. Err. Correction. To try and make multiple ends meet.
I do not like doing my CCA's and thinking that they are a burden. I'm supposed to be enjoying playing in band! But then every time I look at the clock and at the moment practice is over, I feel like leaving straight away. I don't like doing activities for the sake of doing them, but look what I'm doing now.
I have so much lesser hall activities to do this year but I think the free time I have is less than some final seniors who have FYP and still do activities! I don't know if I get to stay in hall at all next year. :(
I don't like not being able to talk to people. Not being able to go out of school to walk-walk. Worrying even about having dinner a tad too long that it will eat into my precious time. Argh Argh.
Ahh Ahh Ahh. I feel like an archi student. I feel like an archi student who has no models to complete but have to finish assignments, tests, lab report, viva and have zero time to prepare for final exam. Goodness knows how my peers do it. Maybe I just do things too slow. Or I have so many things to do it takes so long to decide which to start with first.
Things I have to do within 2 weeks:
1. Write lab report and prepare for viva.
2. Prepare for tests (x2).
3. Rush projects (x2).
4. Cultural performance.
5. Prepare for presentations (x2).
6. Finish assignment (x1).
And for the next three weeks (which overlaps with the week I've mentioned before).
1. Catch up with lectures! Chapters and chapters.
2. Readings! Chapters and chapters. Four big books! :(
3. Tutorials! Arrrrgh. Weeks and weeks.
How. Can. I. Ever. Finish. This. Before. The. Finals?
I don't want my results to be as lousy as the previous sems. But looks like it's turning that way. Just hope it doesn't get worse despite me trading sleep for mugging and so much more.
My results aren't getting any better. I wonder where all this mindless mugging will lead me to.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Another Weekly Summary
It is another of those lame blog post titles again.
It has come to a point where I have to force myself to blog, to find something to write. Otherwise, I'll just rush through everyday without spending much time to reflect.
It it just so amazing that everything just comes forth, new thoughts and reflections, as I just take a little time to sit down and type before the keyboard.
I am actually trying to take a break now from writing one of my project reports. It's supposedly a simple one, and my group mates actually got all the ideas out already, but here I am wasting much time over it. I was trying to decide which format was the best to present it, but ended up using the one I started out with. Then it's re-organizing points and re-phrasing words, to make things sound less conversational. Hopefully I can get it done very soon.
I have found some more blogs to read, and have linked them all up into my reading list. :) I love reading blogs. This year I read blogs belonging to some more well-known bloggers as well as those of people I know. My current favorite is Cheeserland.com. Her writing style is generally amusing and she updates quite frequently.
Week 10 is here soon and the atmosphere is so stifling. I'm trying desperately to catch up with school work and many a time end up falling victim to sleep/sleeplessness. Oh what a messy life this is.
Bible Study last week was fun. :) The message was on Ruth, by John Piper. He said Ruth is a very good example how something really good may come out of a circumstance which showed everything is bad. I don't think I have a right to feel that there's such a circumstance in my life though, because there is always something bright here and there despite all the gloominess. And all this 'gloominess' is actually not very much worth mentioning about. If you tell anyone else, that you're a student, and all you worry about is your studies, I guess it's just a very minor thing. But if it's so minor why do we get stressed up over it?
I guess I should be very thankful that this is what I'm stressed over and not some other overwhelmingly distressing issues like health, family, relationships, and maybe even $$$. But even if it's those, I think somehow there will always be reasons to give thanks, and there will always people who will have been through worse.
I'm in Year 3 now, and I'm still seeking a direction. I wonder where it will lead to. But I know it will be good, though not necessarily easy.
It has come to a point where I have to force myself to blog, to find something to write. Otherwise, I'll just rush through everyday without spending much time to reflect.
It it just so amazing that everything just comes forth, new thoughts and reflections, as I just take a little time to sit down and type before the keyboard.
I am actually trying to take a break now from writing one of my project reports. It's supposedly a simple one, and my group mates actually got all the ideas out already, but here I am wasting much time over it. I was trying to decide which format was the best to present it, but ended up using the one I started out with. Then it's re-organizing points and re-phrasing words, to make things sound less conversational. Hopefully I can get it done very soon.
I have found some more blogs to read, and have linked them all up into my reading list. :) I love reading blogs. This year I read blogs belonging to some more well-known bloggers as well as those of people I know. My current favorite is Cheeserland.com. Her writing style is generally amusing and she updates quite frequently.
Week 10 is here soon and the atmosphere is so stifling. I'm trying desperately to catch up with school work and many a time end up falling victim to sleep/sleeplessness. Oh what a messy life this is.
Bible Study last week was fun. :) The message was on Ruth, by John Piper. He said Ruth is a very good example how something really good may come out of a circumstance which showed everything is bad. I don't think I have a right to feel that there's such a circumstance in my life though, because there is always something bright here and there despite all the gloominess. And all this 'gloominess' is actually not very much worth mentioning about. If you tell anyone else, that you're a student, and all you worry about is your studies, I guess it's just a very minor thing. But if it's so minor why do we get stressed up over it?
I guess I should be very thankful that this is what I'm stressed over and not some other overwhelmingly distressing issues like health, family, relationships, and maybe even $$$. But even if it's those, I think somehow there will always be reasons to give thanks, and there will always people who will have been through worse.
I'm in Year 3 now, and I'm still seeking a direction. I wonder where it will lead to. But I know it will be good, though not necessarily easy.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A Visit From Home
My grandparents came over to Singapore last weekend because my grandmother needs to have her bi-annual medical checkup. They stayed over at my uncle's house and I got to meet them twice - once on Sunday dinner, and another time during yesterday's lunch.
I haven't been to my uncle's house for quite some time due to busyness and such. Rachel had already lost her two front teeth, and grown them back out again since I last saw her. Jon was invited as well.
Dinner was wonderful. My aunt's culinary skills were excellent, as always. Jon said the soup was 'awesome' haha. Then before and after dinner, we watched 'Godzilla', while I was trying to teach Rachel do her maths. However, with the sound system at its best, it was really hard to get her to try and concentrate. I wasn't really concentrated on teaching myself.
My grandparents brought a whole load of things over. Most of them are food supplements, (they knew I was a frequent late-nighter) and they might have been really heavy to carry over. I was rather shocked at how much they cost in total. They always invest a lot on us :)
Lunch today was nice too. We had dim sum lunch at IMM in Jurong, with my 8th granduncle. Two of my cousins (Sarah and Maryjo) were there too. And Aunt Si Si who was working in IMM happened to choose to go to the same restaurant for lunch. So she got to talk to my grandparents too. It was very nice of her to come over our table to greet and chat with us, while her food was left at another table with her friends. Considering the time they talked it must have grown rather cold.
My grandparents are going home today. Was really glad to be able to meet up and talk, even though it wasn't very long a time. I wish I could do better in my studies so they don't have to worry so much about me in this aspect. But it seems like I'm just letting my health go downhill without achieving much. And my Numerical Methods test results were depressing (so don't ask).
Sometimes I wonder what is more important - to get a job I that is related to what I learn, so that my 4 year course over here would not be wasted; or to get one that I am actually able to be competent in, and excel in it. Some issues are too private and sensitive to be discussed in a public blog, so I won't elaborate much on it here. I just wonder what will become of me after I graduate. After flying high for so many years, it is hard to become mediocre, or to put it crudely - less than mediocre. I know there's more in me yet, and maybe it just needs more pushing to come out.
I'm already assigned to a company for industrial attachment next year, and I am hoping for 6 months of working hard, studying hard, giving my best and enjoying it. I wonder how much potential in myself I can tap into now, for I think it is by God's providence I found a job description that allows me use more of the skills I have unofficially acquired these years, as non-engineering as they seem.
Although they don't say it, I know there are expectations of me from home. My family never tries to push me too far, fearing that I will someday break myself. From all the feedback I've been getting from everyone, only my mum is trying to stretch me as near to my limits as possible. This I see again and again, as I read her past emails to me, and it is the my main motivation to go as far as I can. Daddy has never said or commented too much about my results, but from the one or two questions he asks, I know he is concerned about how I will fare after I graduate and compete in the job market with my fellow graduates. My grandparents always ask me to take things slow and easy, but I know my grandfather wants to see me doing my best too.
Studying and trying to excel is so hard, especially at 3-4 am in the morning when you're sleepy and want to get some rest; especially when you look at your gradebook and know you've not been doing enough. It's like running a race where you'll never catch up, but you'll still have to run, because of the people cheering you on. Expectations are what stress me up, but they are also what that push me on. Expectations both said, and unsaid. (But I really do appreciate those unsaid expectations. The fact that they are unsaid althought they are still there.)
Another thing I fear is as I strive hard to work towards meeting my family's expectations, I forget about meeting the expectations of the Lord. To spend time to love, and live, and labour for treasures that are eternal. To spare some thought for the person next to me, instead of wondering how my peers study so well, and how I can be like them. To stop my own building projects of my so-called future and career, to pause and spend time with Him, to pursue a future He holds for me with peace.
I have changed so much after I came here. I don't know if it's for better or for worse, but there's still a passion for the things of the Lord that I wish to revive.
I haven't been to my uncle's house for quite some time due to busyness and such. Rachel had already lost her two front teeth, and grown them back out again since I last saw her. Jon was invited as well.
Dinner was wonderful. My aunt's culinary skills were excellent, as always. Jon said the soup was 'awesome' haha. Then before and after dinner, we watched 'Godzilla', while I was trying to teach Rachel do her maths. However, with the sound system at its best, it was really hard to get her to try and concentrate. I wasn't really concentrated on teaching myself.
My grandparents brought a whole load of things over. Most of them are food supplements, (they knew I was a frequent late-nighter) and they might have been really heavy to carry over. I was rather shocked at how much they cost in total. They always invest a lot on us :)
Lunch today was nice too. We had dim sum lunch at IMM in Jurong, with my 8th granduncle. Two of my cousins (Sarah and Maryjo) were there too. And Aunt Si Si who was working in IMM happened to choose to go to the same restaurant for lunch. So she got to talk to my grandparents too. It was very nice of her to come over our table to greet and chat with us, while her food was left at another table with her friends. Considering the time they talked it must have grown rather cold.
My grandparents are going home today. Was really glad to be able to meet up and talk, even though it wasn't very long a time. I wish I could do better in my studies so they don't have to worry so much about me in this aspect. But it seems like I'm just letting my health go downhill without achieving much. And my Numerical Methods test results were depressing (so don't ask).
Sometimes I wonder what is more important - to get a job I that is related to what I learn, so that my 4 year course over here would not be wasted; or to get one that I am actually able to be competent in, and excel in it. Some issues are too private and sensitive to be discussed in a public blog, so I won't elaborate much on it here. I just wonder what will become of me after I graduate. After flying high for so many years, it is hard to become mediocre, or to put it crudely - less than mediocre. I know there's more in me yet, and maybe it just needs more pushing to come out.
I'm already assigned to a company for industrial attachment next year, and I am hoping for 6 months of working hard, studying hard, giving my best and enjoying it. I wonder how much potential in myself I can tap into now, for I think it is by God's providence I found a job description that allows me use more of the skills I have unofficially acquired these years, as non-engineering as they seem.
Although they don't say it, I know there are expectations of me from home. My family never tries to push me too far, fearing that I will someday break myself. From all the feedback I've been getting from everyone, only my mum is trying to stretch me as near to my limits as possible. This I see again and again, as I read her past emails to me, and it is the my main motivation to go as far as I can. Daddy has never said or commented too much about my results, but from the one or two questions he asks, I know he is concerned about how I will fare after I graduate and compete in the job market with my fellow graduates. My grandparents always ask me to take things slow and easy, but I know my grandfather wants to see me doing my best too.
Studying and trying to excel is so hard, especially at 3-4 am in the morning when you're sleepy and want to get some rest; especially when you look at your gradebook and know you've not been doing enough. It's like running a race where you'll never catch up, but you'll still have to run, because of the people cheering you on. Expectations are what stress me up, but they are also what that push me on. Expectations both said, and unsaid. (But I really do appreciate those unsaid expectations. The fact that they are unsaid althought they are still there.)
Another thing I fear is as I strive hard to work towards meeting my family's expectations, I forget about meeting the expectations of the Lord. To spend time to love, and live, and labour for treasures that are eternal. To spare some thought for the person next to me, instead of wondering how my peers study so well, and how I can be like them. To stop my own building projects of my so-called future and career, to pause and spend time with Him, to pursue a future He holds for me with peace.
I have changed so much after I came here. I don't know if it's for better or for worse, but there's still a passion for the things of the Lord that I wish to revive.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Post Mid Terms, Pre-Project Submissions
I haven't been blogging for quite some time. Very, very busy. :(
Anyway, an update about things that happened. Raffles Hall's Mid-Autumn Festival Celebrations coincided neatly with my project submissions and mid-terms. It was suddenly pushed forward two whole weeks, and I have two different performances, and three songs to practice for. Had to compensate two weeks of practices for that, and it was certainly no joke. Working with people always takes in a lot of extra time and effort, especially when standards and expectations are high. But if it's a job well done, it has its rewards.
I performed one song for The Rugged Hallways (aka the hall band), and Chamber Music Ensemble. Yanlei is nice to work with, and though her violin skills are not perfect, it's inspiring and heart warming to see the effort she puts into her practices and her performances. We played Cheng Li de Yue Guang and Luo Ye Gui Gen, which is a sure hit if we don't do it too badly, because everybody likes the song, and it's highly popularized. Had a bit of trouble getting all the chords out though - I couldn't find any online. For Band we performed Helpless When She Smiles by Backstreet Boys. It's the first time I'm playing this kind of 'noisy' song for band, and it's a totally new experience.
I played safe in all my performances but still made mistakes in counting and in one or two chords. Sam commented that my playing is too 'standard', which is both a good and bad thing. Trouble is, I have been performing for the third year in hall by now and still get stage fright (even in hall). Hence, I don't dare to be too adventurous in case something goes wrong. Playing songs of different genre (the Chinese songs were the quiet and soothing kind), kind of got me confused also. I shall not try this again next time. That night, I had to do event reporting for Phoenix Press as well, so going down for the celebrations was really killing three birds with one stone. Or maybe it was four birds, as I told Tirza, because the fourth is myself. I'm behind all my lectures by two weeks! And I have to really force myself to go out to attend tutorials. That's why I'm tired and falling sick on and off now. But at this point of time, my health is back to normal.
The Dynamics project took me a very long time to complete - and it was supposed to be not that difficult. Oh well, at least I get have a hand in most things related in the project this time - with help from Jon, Yew Hong, and a very handy tip from Benjamin (most grateful for that). Now is the tedious part of making the report look nice and complete. After that I'll have to do my lab report and maths homework, and catch up with all my webcast, and learn HYSYS properly. Hopefully that could be done before the finals come. It's not too many weeks away. And yes, there's three more projects (not including this one I'm nearly done with), three more tests and two more presentations to prepare for, before the finals. I haven't included my CCA activities in the list yet.
I went for an interview last Monday and was accepted by Eben Consultants. It is located in Bukit Batok which is very near NUS, so that's a plus point. It means I won't have to wake up at 5-6 am everyday to get to work, which is a good thing. I hope I can learn much from this attachment. I know it's not top-notch like Shell or Esso, but then again, I am well aware of where I stand in the academic food-chain, CAP-wise. In fact, I consider myself very fortunate to be accepted by this company, because it does most of the things I feel I would be more interested in - more towards business, safety and quality control. Hopefully I can cope with both my work and studies next semester. I'm taking two modules on top of my work, and one of them is supposed to be an elective related to my core, so it's not going to be easy.
I don't know why I'm suddenly inserting this here: but I think I'm rather disappointed with the quality of my news event article written for Phoenix Press. I made a mistake in writing down the name of one of the songs performed, and the flow of the report is too methodological to be interesting. As a senior, I should have inserted some more interesting comments/analysis of the situation but at that point of time, my mind was blank, or rather, stuffed with details of my project that I just wanted to finish my event report quickly. Hope I do a better job next time.
Anyway, an update about things that happened. Raffles Hall's Mid-Autumn Festival Celebrations coincided neatly with my project submissions and mid-terms. It was suddenly pushed forward two whole weeks, and I have two different performances, and three songs to practice for. Had to compensate two weeks of practices for that, and it was certainly no joke. Working with people always takes in a lot of extra time and effort, especially when standards and expectations are high. But if it's a job well done, it has its rewards.
I performed one song for The Rugged Hallways (aka the hall band), and Chamber Music Ensemble. Yanlei is nice to work with, and though her violin skills are not perfect, it's inspiring and heart warming to see the effort she puts into her practices and her performances. We played Cheng Li de Yue Guang and Luo Ye Gui Gen, which is a sure hit if we don't do it too badly, because everybody likes the song, and it's highly popularized. Had a bit of trouble getting all the chords out though - I couldn't find any online. For Band we performed Helpless When She Smiles by Backstreet Boys. It's the first time I'm playing this kind of 'noisy' song for band, and it's a totally new experience.
I played safe in all my performances but still made mistakes in counting and in one or two chords. Sam commented that my playing is too 'standard', which is both a good and bad thing. Trouble is, I have been performing for the third year in hall by now and still get stage fright (even in hall). Hence, I don't dare to be too adventurous in case something goes wrong. Playing songs of different genre (the Chinese songs were the quiet and soothing kind), kind of got me confused also. I shall not try this again next time. That night, I had to do event reporting for Phoenix Press as well, so going down for the celebrations was really killing three birds with one stone. Or maybe it was four birds, as I told Tirza, because the fourth is myself. I'm behind all my lectures by two weeks! And I have to really force myself to go out to attend tutorials. That's why I'm tired and falling sick on and off now. But at this point of time, my health is back to normal.
The Dynamics project took me a very long time to complete - and it was supposed to be not that difficult. Oh well, at least I get have a hand in most things related in the project this time - with help from Jon, Yew Hong, and a very handy tip from Benjamin (most grateful for that). Now is the tedious part of making the report look nice and complete. After that I'll have to do my lab report and maths homework, and catch up with all my webcast, and learn HYSYS properly. Hopefully that could be done before the finals come. It's not too many weeks away. And yes, there's three more projects (not including this one I'm nearly done with), three more tests and two more presentations to prepare for, before the finals. I haven't included my CCA activities in the list yet.
I went for an interview last Monday and was accepted by Eben Consultants. It is located in Bukit Batok which is very near NUS, so that's a plus point. It means I won't have to wake up at 5-6 am everyday to get to work, which is a good thing. I hope I can learn much from this attachment. I know it's not top-notch like Shell or Esso, but then again, I am well aware of where I stand in the academic food-chain, CAP-wise. In fact, I consider myself very fortunate to be accepted by this company, because it does most of the things I feel I would be more interested in - more towards business, safety and quality control. Hopefully I can cope with both my work and studies next semester. I'm taking two modules on top of my work, and one of them is supposed to be an elective related to my core, so it's not going to be easy.
I don't know why I'm suddenly inserting this here: but I think I'm rather disappointed with the quality of my news event article written for Phoenix Press. I made a mistake in writing down the name of one of the songs performed, and the flow of the report is too methodological to be interesting. As a senior, I should have inserted some more interesting comments/analysis of the situation but at that point of time, my mind was blank, or rather, stuffed with details of my project that I just wanted to finish my event report quickly. Hope I do a better job next time.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Back to School and Exams
Recess week was just over, and the beginning of a new school week was celebrated with Process Dynamics mid terms. I don't know what I did, again it was a state of blurriness and a mad rush for time as I struggled to lift concepts from my text book into the answer sheet. (It was an open book test.) I will be having another test on Numerical Methods this Friday.
I suppose it was due to the test and on-off sleeping for two nights running. I developed a headache at the side of my head today afternoon. Fortunately it didn't come till way after my test. I couldn't even fall asleep when it came because it hurt when I rested my head on the pillow and caused me to cough a lot because I was feeling nauseous. In the end I had to take Panadol to ease the pain while falling asleep. I took a good long 4 hour plus nap (thanks Tirza for packing my food) and woke up finding that the headache was gone. Feeling much better now. However, this means that I didn't study for the whole day and I have to mug through the night again. This is a terrible vicious cycle. I wonder if my grades are actually worth this much, but judging by how high the school fees and expectations are... I think the least I can do is try not to do too badly each time.
Yeh Yeh has just revived his blog again after a long winter of hibernation. Pretty long entries he has written too and I was encouraged by them today. :) Lately there are so many reminders for me that I haven't been placing priority in things that matter. The preaching in church about the end times that are drawing near. My own daily devotional about the warnings God gave the wayward people through the old testemant prophets. Jon's praying session with me. And things happening in Campus as well as issues brought up during Bible study.
Jesus coming again is not that far away as we're in the times we're in now. And even as the Bible said he will come suddenly, in a blink of an eye, with no one expecting it; we can't say death will give us the chance to expect it by either. As I lay in bed with a headache today, I thought about how my mum had just fallen in coma in her sleep before she left us, and I wondered for a while (well you do think of things like that when you're not feeling well) if I'll just fall asleep and not wake up again either. Things like that will just leave you unprepared, and right now I'd just be too ashamed to face God and say that my whole life is just centered on studies and exams, preparing for a career, that I might not even live to pursue, forsaking more important things that matter.
I can't remember the rest of the lyrics of this song haha. It's the midnight hour of the age of man. Prepare, prepare to meet Him in the clouds.
To someone who just told me she couldn't put down a death - if this helps, perhaps as the times of separation grow shorter, we should no longer quake for the death, but for the living; and for our own selves. Looking forward and no longer looking behind, running for the goal. The right goal.
NUS and its competitiveness has made me love and hate it so. But most importantly, I find it a battleground that has taught me so many things through my weaknesses. For it is through that in our weakness we're made strong. It taught me not to be puffed up, to accept myself as who I am, be it superior or inferior to others. It taught me that responsibilities are important, but not to the extent that I sell my soul chasing after the wrong things. I'll try not to make such a big hoo-hah about exams and just let them be part of my life. And trust God to guide me through and prepare the way ahead for me after doing my best. And doing my best means not compromise other more important things for the books and do just enough for what I should be doing.
I suppose it was due to the test and on-off sleeping for two nights running. I developed a headache at the side of my head today afternoon. Fortunately it didn't come till way after my test. I couldn't even fall asleep when it came because it hurt when I rested my head on the pillow and caused me to cough a lot because I was feeling nauseous. In the end I had to take Panadol to ease the pain while falling asleep. I took a good long 4 hour plus nap (thanks Tirza for packing my food) and woke up finding that the headache was gone. Feeling much better now. However, this means that I didn't study for the whole day and I have to mug through the night again. This is a terrible vicious cycle. I wonder if my grades are actually worth this much, but judging by how high the school fees and expectations are... I think the least I can do is try not to do too badly each time.
Yeh Yeh has just revived his blog again after a long winter of hibernation. Pretty long entries he has written too and I was encouraged by them today. :) Lately there are so many reminders for me that I haven't been placing priority in things that matter. The preaching in church about the end times that are drawing near. My own daily devotional about the warnings God gave the wayward people through the old testemant prophets. Jon's praying session with me. And things happening in Campus as well as issues brought up during Bible study.
Jesus coming again is not that far away as we're in the times we're in now. And even as the Bible said he will come suddenly, in a blink of an eye, with no one expecting it; we can't say death will give us the chance to expect it by either. As I lay in bed with a headache today, I thought about how my mum had just fallen in coma in her sleep before she left us, and I wondered for a while (well you do think of things like that when you're not feeling well) if I'll just fall asleep and not wake up again either. Things like that will just leave you unprepared, and right now I'd just be too ashamed to face God and say that my whole life is just centered on studies and exams, preparing for a career, that I might not even live to pursue, forsaking more important things that matter.
Keep thy fire burning
The fire of your faith
The Master is coming
The hour is too late
The battle grows stronger
He told us it would
But Christ is the victor
Will be understood
The fire of your faith
The Master is coming
The hour is too late
The battle grows stronger
He told us it would
But Christ is the victor
Will be understood
I can't remember the rest of the lyrics of this song haha. It's the midnight hour of the age of man. Prepare, prepare to meet Him in the clouds.
To someone who just told me she couldn't put down a death - if this helps, perhaps as the times of separation grow shorter, we should no longer quake for the death, but for the living; and for our own selves. Looking forward and no longer looking behind, running for the goal. The right goal.
NUS and its competitiveness has made me love and hate it so. But most importantly, I find it a battleground that has taught me so many things through my weaknesses. For it is through that in our weakness we're made strong. It taught me not to be puffed up, to accept myself as who I am, be it superior or inferior to others. It taught me that responsibilities are important, but not to the extent that I sell my soul chasing after the wrong things. I'll try not to make such a big hoo-hah about exams and just let them be part of my life. And trust God to guide me through and prepare the way ahead for me after doing my best. And doing my best means not compromise other more important things for the books and do just enough for what I should be doing.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
23 September 2009
Today is the most fruitful day for studying in recess week. At least I managed to stay up the whole day (up till now) and been studying on and off without sleeping.
Some random issues:
1. I feel like wanting to change my blog template again. I wonder if I should. The current template is nice, but it's a little bit too cute for me now. But then nice templates are really hard to find! And I don't want to give myself excuses to hog on the laptop finding new templates when I'm supposed to be mugging for mid terms.
2. Two mid terms after recess week. Monday and Friday. Plus other non mid term modules and projects to catch up with. Projects! I've been immobile in them except for a bit of fruitless research. I feel like I'm such a let-down as a project mate. Would buck up.
3. I want to put on some weight! But not too much.
4. I felt like wanting to change my blogging style. Note the past tense. Reason for that was I've been hanging around some popular blogs lately (thanks to Dawn's blog roll which I go to if I have nothing to read from my own feed), and some blogs are just so nice to read! Not that the content is thought-provoking and inspiring, but they are just... fun. But then I decided that I'll stick to my current style, because I don't want to turn into a blogger going for hits. I decide that I am not going to blog for hits. Not that that will be of any use even if I tried to anyway, but most importantly, that will take away the whole meaning of my blogging altogether. Won't go for what people want to read, but just what I want to say, and what I think, and who I am. Ahh well, you might be thinking: "Duh, isn't that elementary?!" But then, sometimes I get on the high horse so much that I forget the elementary.
5. I love Country Story! Even though it's getting a bit monotonous playing now. But I'm still a little upset over the fact why the livestock/animals look blur or boring after they mature. They were so cute when they haven't grown up!
6. I'm having my first band practice tomorrow. Never really played in a band before. The closest to it was actually the song 'Zhen de Ai Ni' in church a few years back for Parents' Day presentation. But I like this group of people I'm going to work with for Orange Week performance in Central Forum. They are all very good musicians and Chuanbo sings well. This is going to be exciting. Would be more exciting still, if I don't keep on bringing up the fact to myself that practices may get into the way of my mid term preparations. But then I think they won't.
7. I'm now using rough paper Tirza gave me. There's a whole stack of them and behind some are some Japanese exercises. So when I get bored of calculations, I flip them over and try to copy the Japanese characters behind down, even though I don't know what most of them mean, and I can't read any of them.
This doodling has somehow produced two effects. Firstly, it made me miss writing in Chinese. As in writing Chinese by hand. Not typing it. Half the Japanese words are the same as Chinese ones, only they are pronounced differently, and maybe written a little differently. I want to write Chinese words! Hence I end up writing random Chinese phrases all round the page. The second effect this mindless doodling had on me is it actually caused me to want to learn Japanese! I don't know if it's the doodling thing or if it's a Tirza thing. For those who don't know, I've been psychologically affected by Tirza lately. Don't ask me why, I don't know and it's not really her fault either. I saw her eating cup noodles and I had a craving to eat them too. I saw her drinking 100 plus and I wanted to drink 100 plus as well. Then one morning I woke up seeing her eating McDonalds for breakfast and my mind itched until one fine day I decided to do the same. And Tirza's taking Japanese this semester. Hmm.
I don't really think it's Tirza this time. And I don't believe I'll actually take Japanese as a module anytime in NUS. The learning hours are just too long, and I know nuts about Japanese to begin with (except those few words Tirza repeats to herself in the room). I just want an excuse to write something Chinese, or similar to Chinese. An academic excuse. Something more than teaching Boss how to do his Chinese Language tutorials (not that I have, just recalled that he asked for assistance two weeks back). If the craving gets really chronic I'll borrow all Jap lecture and tutorial notes from someone, mug them through the holidays and take Jap in my Final Year. Chances of that happening is pretty low though.
8. I suddenly lost all passion for ice-cream. Now that's really, really sad.
Some random issues:
1. I feel like wanting to change my blog template again. I wonder if I should. The current template is nice, but it's a little bit too cute for me now. But then nice templates are really hard to find! And I don't want to give myself excuses to hog on the laptop finding new templates when I'm supposed to be mugging for mid terms.
2. Two mid terms after recess week. Monday and Friday. Plus other non mid term modules and projects to catch up with. Projects! I've been immobile in them except for a bit of fruitless research. I feel like I'm such a let-down as a project mate. Would buck up.
3. I want to put on some weight! But not too much.
4. I felt like wanting to change my blogging style. Note the past tense. Reason for that was I've been hanging around some popular blogs lately (thanks to Dawn's blog roll which I go to if I have nothing to read from my own feed), and some blogs are just so nice to read! Not that the content is thought-provoking and inspiring, but they are just... fun. But then I decided that I'll stick to my current style, because I don't want to turn into a blogger going for hits. I decide that I am not going to blog for hits. Not that that will be of any use even if I tried to anyway, but most importantly, that will take away the whole meaning of my blogging altogether. Won't go for what people want to read, but just what I want to say, and what I think, and who I am. Ahh well, you might be thinking: "Duh, isn't that elementary?!" But then, sometimes I get on the high horse so much that I forget the elementary.
5. I love Country Story! Even though it's getting a bit monotonous playing now. But I'm still a little upset over the fact why the livestock/animals look blur or boring after they mature. They were so cute when they haven't grown up!
6. I'm having my first band practice tomorrow. Never really played in a band before. The closest to it was actually the song 'Zhen de Ai Ni' in church a few years back for Parents' Day presentation. But I like this group of people I'm going to work with for Orange Week performance in Central Forum. They are all very good musicians and Chuanbo sings well. This is going to be exciting. Would be more exciting still, if I don't keep on bringing up the fact to myself that practices may get into the way of my mid term preparations. But then I think they won't.
7. I'm now using rough paper Tirza gave me. There's a whole stack of them and behind some are some Japanese exercises. So when I get bored of calculations, I flip them over and try to copy the Japanese characters behind down, even though I don't know what most of them mean, and I can't read any of them.
This doodling has somehow produced two effects. Firstly, it made me miss writing in Chinese. As in writing Chinese by hand. Not typing it. Half the Japanese words are the same as Chinese ones, only they are pronounced differently, and maybe written a little differently. I want to write Chinese words! Hence I end up writing random Chinese phrases all round the page. The second effect this mindless doodling had on me is it actually caused me to want to learn Japanese! I don't know if it's the doodling thing or if it's a Tirza thing. For those who don't know, I've been psychologically affected by Tirza lately. Don't ask me why, I don't know and it's not really her fault either. I saw her eating cup noodles and I had a craving to eat them too. I saw her drinking 100 plus and I wanted to drink 100 plus as well. Then one morning I woke up seeing her eating McDonalds for breakfast and my mind itched until one fine day I decided to do the same. And Tirza's taking Japanese this semester. Hmm.
I don't really think it's Tirza this time. And I don't believe I'll actually take Japanese as a module anytime in NUS. The learning hours are just too long, and I know nuts about Japanese to begin with (except those few words Tirza repeats to herself in the room). I just want an excuse to write something Chinese, or similar to Chinese. An academic excuse. Something more than teaching Boss how to do his Chinese Language tutorials (not that I have, just recalled that he asked for assistance two weeks back). If the craving gets really chronic I'll borrow all Jap lecture and tutorial notes from someone, mug them through the holidays and take Jap in my Final Year. Chances of that happening is pretty low though.
8. I suddenly lost all passion for ice-cream. Now that's really, really sad.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
He Gives and Takes Away
Was singing the song 'Blessed be the Name of the Lord' in church today. There was one line in the song that goes 'He gives and takes away'. A line that was deeply etched into my mind and heart on those days my mum went to heaven last year.
Today is Charissa's birthday, and it's overwhelming to see the number of friends she has who still remember her deeply, and whose life she's still very much a part of.
I received an SMS last Thursday while I was halfway through my bio lab from Matthew saying that he lost his dad to death, following with details of the wake and cremation. My heart just went out to him and his family then. It takes the experience of facing a death personally, to understand what it feels like. There is just this void gap when you lose someone that there's this vacuum in your heart, telling you the person is there no more, and you're so thrown off balance that you just need to fill it with something. With sorrow, with memories? With the assurance of God's promises that there is life after death? With the love of those around you?
I think there is no experience yet in my life parallel to losing the people I love to death. No wonder it is one of the only recorded incidence (at least directly recorded) at which Jesus wept. Yes, there is life after death, but still, death separates and it is very painful. Yet it is still very assuring and comforting to know that death is not the ultimate conquerer.
As I was sitting in the BTC bus on the way to church today, I saw how it was bright and sunny outside on the road. Again nature reminds me that although dust has returned to dust, life around you is still there, and you must somehow learn to move on.
Pastor's message today was about the second coming of Christ, which is very near, any time from now, because almost all the prophecies of his coming are fulfilled at this day and age. And the idea of Christ coming again any time of now, in a blink of an eye, when we are still unprepared, really blows away my heart and mind. It made death seem so insignificant, and that it is just but a passing moment, when suddenly all of us will be swept into eternity, entering eternal grace, or eternal judgement.
I know Christ is true, and His promises are true, because I always see them unfolding, and coming alive, in my own life and in the life of others. But I shudder yet when it comes to the question on whether I am ready or not, when He comes, or even when my own time on earth comes, should it come before the time He comes again. True, I have already accepted Him as my personal Savior. But have I lived my life in the way that it says and proclaims that I am saved by Him? What have I been focusing on?
Just a reminder to self today to focus on things that really matter now, and looking beyond temporary joys and sorrows - and to make life really count, in the Lord. He's been knocking on my heart these days and I've only to find courage to surrender, and respond.
Today is Charissa's birthday, and it's overwhelming to see the number of friends she has who still remember her deeply, and whose life she's still very much a part of.
I received an SMS last Thursday while I was halfway through my bio lab from Matthew saying that he lost his dad to death, following with details of the wake and cremation. My heart just went out to him and his family then. It takes the experience of facing a death personally, to understand what it feels like. There is just this void gap when you lose someone that there's this vacuum in your heart, telling you the person is there no more, and you're so thrown off balance that you just need to fill it with something. With sorrow, with memories? With the assurance of God's promises that there is life after death? With the love of those around you?
I think there is no experience yet in my life parallel to losing the people I love to death. No wonder it is one of the only recorded incidence (at least directly recorded) at which Jesus wept. Yes, there is life after death, but still, death separates and it is very painful. Yet it is still very assuring and comforting to know that death is not the ultimate conquerer.
As I was sitting in the BTC bus on the way to church today, I saw how it was bright and sunny outside on the road. Again nature reminds me that although dust has returned to dust, life around you is still there, and you must somehow learn to move on.
Pastor's message today was about the second coming of Christ, which is very near, any time from now, because almost all the prophecies of his coming are fulfilled at this day and age. And the idea of Christ coming again any time of now, in a blink of an eye, when we are still unprepared, really blows away my heart and mind. It made death seem so insignificant, and that it is just but a passing moment, when suddenly all of us will be swept into eternity, entering eternal grace, or eternal judgement.
I know Christ is true, and His promises are true, because I always see them unfolding, and coming alive, in my own life and in the life of others. But I shudder yet when it comes to the question on whether I am ready or not, when He comes, or even when my own time on earth comes, should it come before the time He comes again. True, I have already accepted Him as my personal Savior. But have I lived my life in the way that it says and proclaims that I am saved by Him? What have I been focusing on?
Just a reminder to self today to focus on things that really matter now, and looking beyond temporary joys and sorrows - and to make life really count, in the Lord. He's been knocking on my heart these days and I've only to find courage to surrender, and respond.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
My Favorite Time of the Semester
My favorite time of the semester is here. Recess week! A break without having the face the pressure of impending finals (think reading week). Every time it comes when I totally need it. And it goes just as quickly as it comes.
I know I have two upcoming tests right after recess week, and I need to study hard for them during this short little one week break. But then again, a one week break is a one week break. It means a week of not needing to go for lectures, tutorials or labs; a week to catch up with piled up work, and a week NOT to have extra work that I haven't finished piled up at the end of it. :)
Convocation dinner was last Tuesday and it is long over. Just wanted to blog about it because it was my first Chamber Music Ensemble (CME) performance of the year. CME this year is really really small, and we have to do these 1-2 person performances now, instead of the 5-8 ones we used to do previously. I paired with Sharon to do Air in D, which she has never heard before at all prior to this. Sharon plays the erhu, and she's used to listening and playing Chinese songs ONLY. So Air in D is what she calls an 'ang moh' song. I say we didn't do too badly considering the times we practiced were very limited. Of course it wasn't a blast, and did pale in comparism with some performances put up by the Rugged Hallways (that's what RH Band is called now), but then it did fish in quite a number of compliments. Even I who was hidden behind the piano and was not seen at all got a personal compliment from one of the alumni :) I think she was very kind.
Separations test is over. It was 25 MCQ questions, and the duration was only 1 hour. As usual panic signals overwhelmed my brain when I saw the question to time ratio, but fortunately, I managed to recover quite a bit when the exam actually started. I guess part of the panic was due to the unusual absence of Mei, my classmate, who was usually very responsible and punctual when it comes to test. Not only was she absent, but she did not pick up all the calls I sent to her! It turned out that she was on the way to the test, but might not have heard her phone on the shuttle bus. I shall decline to comment on all things regarding this 10% test that I have not slept well for the past week for, except this: I think the lecturer was very smart when he asked for us to put our workings down. He could have just marked our answers alone (because the test was multiple choice) but he chose to look through our workings as well, so as to ensure that our results wasn't just a result of sheer luck.
Not sleeping for a whole day for test prep did take its toll for me. I totally blacked out the whole of next day (Friday) and pigged it in peacefully. I missed all my (webcasted) lectures, and my project meeting! And I didn't realize (or conveniently forgot) that there was a meeting going on until Yew Hong called to tell me the meeting was finished. Somehow I had mixed feelings about his calling me after everything was over. On one hand, I thought it would be better if I received the call when it was still ongoing so that I could at least rush over. On the other hand, I was quite happy because I got to replenish lost sleep. Hmms.
Anyway, today is already Saturday, and despite having made up my mind to spend it mugging, the weather was so temptingly cloudy and cool and rainy that I compromised by spending another half of the day pigging it again. When weekdays come I think I'd have to drag myself to some place around school without a bed to mug. Otherwise the allure of sleeping in such a nice cold weather is too much for a tired soul like mine. Hopefully that some place would have a range of nice (affordable) food to go with it too. Won't mind putting on a little weight this week, and food does in a way keep me awake and fuel me to keep on going.
Had dinner with Wai Pheng, Tirza, Zjun and Jon today at Thai Express, which Wai Pheng insisted on treating. I forgot to took pictures though. :( Last time I had laksa, so this time I tried their green curry. It was super delicious when ate together with rice. Zhi Jun appeared to be quite fond of my curry too, and since there was a lot of it, both of us splashed generous amounts on our rice. Oh no, just blogging about it has aroused my taste buds. Tirza's tomyam soup should be nice too, but it was so unusually hot that I couldn't stand it. There was this little baby next to us, with the most expressive eyes ever. The mother pointed out that the shirt he was wearing had the words 'Big Flirt' on it. Haha. I think it was rather an apt statement because you could really describe his eyes as 'seductive'. He kept on staring at us and allowed Zjun to hold his hand.
That's for the beginning of my recess week. I wonder how it would end. Hopefully with the blog post saying that I am well rested and at the same time well prepared for my tests. =p I hope this won't be wishful thinking.
I know I have two upcoming tests right after recess week, and I need to study hard for them during this short little one week break. But then again, a one week break is a one week break. It means a week of not needing to go for lectures, tutorials or labs; a week to catch up with piled up work, and a week NOT to have extra work that I haven't finished piled up at the end of it. :)
Convocation dinner was last Tuesday and it is long over. Just wanted to blog about it because it was my first Chamber Music Ensemble (CME) performance of the year. CME this year is really really small, and we have to do these 1-2 person performances now, instead of the 5-8 ones we used to do previously. I paired with Sharon to do Air in D, which she has never heard before at all prior to this. Sharon plays the erhu, and she's used to listening and playing Chinese songs ONLY. So Air in D is what she calls an 'ang moh' song. I say we didn't do too badly considering the times we practiced were very limited. Of course it wasn't a blast, and did pale in comparism with some performances put up by the Rugged Hallways (that's what RH Band is called now), but then it did fish in quite a number of compliments. Even I who was hidden behind the piano and was not seen at all got a personal compliment from one of the alumni :) I think she was very kind.
Separations test is over. It was 25 MCQ questions, and the duration was only 1 hour. As usual panic signals overwhelmed my brain when I saw the question to time ratio, but fortunately, I managed to recover quite a bit when the exam actually started. I guess part of the panic was due to the unusual absence of Mei, my classmate, who was usually very responsible and punctual when it comes to test. Not only was she absent, but she did not pick up all the calls I sent to her! It turned out that she was on the way to the test, but might not have heard her phone on the shuttle bus. I shall decline to comment on all things regarding this 10% test that I have not slept well for the past week for, except this: I think the lecturer was very smart when he asked for us to put our workings down. He could have just marked our answers alone (because the test was multiple choice) but he chose to look through our workings as well, so as to ensure that our results wasn't just a result of sheer luck.
Not sleeping for a whole day for test prep did take its toll for me. I totally blacked out the whole of next day (Friday) and pigged it in peacefully. I missed all my (webcasted) lectures, and my project meeting! And I didn't realize (or conveniently forgot) that there was a meeting going on until Yew Hong called to tell me the meeting was finished. Somehow I had mixed feelings about his calling me after everything was over. On one hand, I thought it would be better if I received the call when it was still ongoing so that I could at least rush over. On the other hand, I was quite happy because I got to replenish lost sleep. Hmms.
Anyway, today is already Saturday, and despite having made up my mind to spend it mugging, the weather was so temptingly cloudy and cool and rainy that I compromised by spending another half of the day pigging it again. When weekdays come I think I'd have to drag myself to some place around school without a bed to mug. Otherwise the allure of sleeping in such a nice cold weather is too much for a tired soul like mine. Hopefully that some place would have a range of nice (affordable) food to go with it too. Won't mind putting on a little weight this week, and food does in a way keep me awake and fuel me to keep on going.
Had dinner with Wai Pheng, Tirza, Zjun and Jon today at Thai Express, which Wai Pheng insisted on treating. I forgot to took pictures though. :( Last time I had laksa, so this time I tried their green curry. It was super delicious when ate together with rice. Zhi Jun appeared to be quite fond of my curry too, and since there was a lot of it, both of us splashed generous amounts on our rice. Oh no, just blogging about it has aroused my taste buds. Tirza's tomyam soup should be nice too, but it was so unusually hot that I couldn't stand it. There was this little baby next to us, with the most expressive eyes ever. The mother pointed out that the shirt he was wearing had the words 'Big Flirt' on it. Haha. I think it was rather an apt statement because you could really describe his eyes as 'seductive'. He kept on staring at us and allowed Zjun to hold his hand.
That's for the beginning of my recess week. I wonder how it would end. Hopefully with the blog post saying that I am well rested and at the same time well prepared for my tests. =p I hope this won't be wishful thinking.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Canada Blog
Behold, Swee Yee's blog link! She finally started blogging in Canada!
http://sycanada.blogspot.com/
Will enjoy reading this. But first, I'd better finish up my help sheet for tomorrow's test.
http://sycanada.blogspot.com/
Will enjoy reading this. But first, I'd better finish up my help sheet for tomorrow's test.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Weekend of Week 5
Week 5 is over and I'm now in week 6. By the time this week is over, half my semester is gone. Can't really believe that... and it seems that I still have so much to learn!
The industrial attachment company list is out. There are so many choices I don't know which to choose! Will settle that this Thursday after my Separation Process Engineering test. Thursday is going to be super packed. Test 8.30 am to 9.30 am. After that rush to lab to analyze batch fermentation results. Immediately after that 3 hours of HYSYS computer lab. An hour after that Numerical Methods tutorial. 1 hour break for lunch (or for me to flop down in exhaustion). Finally I have my Separation tutorial at 5-6 pm.
I must really set my alarm not to faint on that night because I still have to select my IA options!
As mentioned, Separations test is on Thursday, and I'm not really that prepared yet. I've gone through all the notes but haven't done the help sheet nor read the text book. Almost done in tutorials. The most noteworthy thing that I've learnt in this module is separations is not spelled as 'seperations'. =.= Imagine going to school and learning English for this many years, and only to rectify the mistake now. I suppose I'm not going to get it wrong again after this because that word always appears when I make my notes.
I moved into my new room on Friday night. Moved from 10 pm till 4 am, with breaks in between. I was really tired and felt so dirty after that. But I like my new room! All the furniture smells new, and it's clean. I won't say it's tidy because I haven't fully unpacked yet. And being me, it's hopeless to think that the room would even be really tidy. But then my shelves are quite neat, only my table top is rather messy, as usual. I changed my bed sheet and washed my blanket to fit the occassion. Now everything smells nice.
I like the view outside my window. It's a patch of green trees, and the paved steps leading to Block 2. It's not as 'kepo' as my previous room in Block 5 (meaning I can see what everyone is doing), but a lot of people go up and down the steps and I get to observe them. Of course that means they see me from my room too.
Moving was quite fun especially the fact that I have 5 cute new neighbours now apart from Zhi Jun and Wen Qiao. I wanted to call them the 'Bond Girls' because I couldn't recall 'Charlie's Angels'. But Zhi Jun said 'Kero's Angels' is cuter and since they are Chin Wee's girls we called them that. Haha. Zhi Jun doesn't mind rooming with them beause the space they take up are quite negligible. :)
Okies that's all my updates for today. Back to the books again. I wonder why my blogs always end this way.
The industrial attachment company list is out. There are so many choices I don't know which to choose! Will settle that this Thursday after my Separation Process Engineering test. Thursday is going to be super packed. Test 8.30 am to 9.30 am. After that rush to lab to analyze batch fermentation results. Immediately after that 3 hours of HYSYS computer lab. An hour after that Numerical Methods tutorial. 1 hour break for lunch (or for me to flop down in exhaustion). Finally I have my Separation tutorial at 5-6 pm.
I must really set my alarm not to faint on that night because I still have to select my IA options!
As mentioned, Separations test is on Thursday, and I'm not really that prepared yet. I've gone through all the notes but haven't done the help sheet nor read the text book. Almost done in tutorials. The most noteworthy thing that I've learnt in this module is separations is not spelled as 'seperations'. =.= Imagine going to school and learning English for this many years, and only to rectify the mistake now. I suppose I'm not going to get it wrong again after this because that word always appears when I make my notes.
I moved into my new room on Friday night. Moved from 10 pm till 4 am, with breaks in between. I was really tired and felt so dirty after that. But I like my new room! All the furniture smells new, and it's clean. I won't say it's tidy because I haven't fully unpacked yet. And being me, it's hopeless to think that the room would even be really tidy. But then my shelves are quite neat, only my table top is rather messy, as usual. I changed my bed sheet and washed my blanket to fit the occassion. Now everything smells nice.
I like the view outside my window. It's a patch of green trees, and the paved steps leading to Block 2. It's not as 'kepo' as my previous room in Block 5 (meaning I can see what everyone is doing), but a lot of people go up and down the steps and I get to observe them. Of course that means they see me from my room too.
Moving was quite fun especially the fact that I have 5 cute new neighbours now apart from Zhi Jun and Wen Qiao. I wanted to call them the 'Bond Girls' because I couldn't recall 'Charlie's Angels'. But Zhi Jun said 'Kero's Angels' is cuter and since they are Chin Wee's girls we called them that. Haha. Zhi Jun doesn't mind rooming with them beause the space they take up are quite negligible. :)
Okies that's all my updates for today. Back to the books again. I wonder why my blogs always end this way.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
New Rooms!
Before I go on about new rooms, I quote my HYSYS computer lab tutor: "These guys (meaning my class) come 20 minutes early, don't go for break (lab is 3 hours), and don't want to leave after lab is over! I'm so glad I'm not in their cohort when I was an undergraduate!"
Too bad I'm in this cohort when I'm an undergraduate. And I leave a little later not because I'm that hardworking, it's because I cannot finish my work on time. T_T
Today was super duper tiring. Slept around 6 am yesterday (don't ask me why, it's a result of heavy workload and messed up sleep time table). Had classes non-stop from 9 am - 3 pm, which, I miraculously managed to keep my eyes open for all the time with a little help from coffee (1 cup only). Had lunch and excitedly went to get keys for my new room in Block 4. Tried to complete Separations tutorial before going for class after that, but was too tired that I had to take a 15 min nap instead. After that I had tutorial from 5 - 6 pm, and came back to view the new room.
The new blocks certainly look new, although they don't look that nice from the macroscopic point of view. We get longer tables! And a nice view. :) And good lights, and wonderful toilets! The toilets really rock! All the bathroom cubicles are functioning at last! I actually feel like moving in right away although i need sleep and I need to study tonight. I'll be moving part of my things in at least. And my new neighbours are awesome too. But I miss the grass patch all around the block area. That certainly is a loss to be lamented indeed. But they'll grow back fast enough. I hope! :)
Too bad I'm in this cohort when I'm an undergraduate. And I leave a little later not because I'm that hardworking, it's because I cannot finish my work on time. T_T
Today was super duper tiring. Slept around 6 am yesterday (don't ask me why, it's a result of heavy workload and messed up sleep time table). Had classes non-stop from 9 am - 3 pm, which, I miraculously managed to keep my eyes open for all the time with a little help from coffee (1 cup only). Had lunch and excitedly went to get keys for my new room in Block 4. Tried to complete Separations tutorial before going for class after that, but was too tired that I had to take a 15 min nap instead. After that I had tutorial from 5 - 6 pm, and came back to view the new room.
The new blocks certainly look new, although they don't look that nice from the macroscopic point of view. We get longer tables! And a nice view. :) And good lights, and wonderful toilets! The toilets really rock! All the bathroom cubicles are functioning at last! I actually feel like moving in right away although i need sleep and I need to study tonight. I'll be moving part of my things in at least. And my new neighbours are awesome too. But I miss the grass patch all around the block area. That certainly is a loss to be lamented indeed. But they'll grow back fast enough. I hope! :)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Post 9-09-09
It's now 10th of September... past the all hyped and auspicious 9 September 2009 (or 9/9/09). Actually I think the date is very much overrated, and it is amazing how many people find it an interesting date. Part of the reason I suppose is the Chinese think 9 is an auspicious number (it signifies longevity, or 'lasting-ness'), and I suppose that means it's a good day for marriages and renewal of vows (or maybe even birthdays). You can see the home page of my facebook being flooded with comments about this special date. Wayne texted me a forwarded message (I think) about what we're doing on 9:09 am on this date. I'm quite ashamed to say I was sleeping in, but that ws because I had a late night studying before. I almost wanted to blog on it, but procrastinated and ended up blogging now instead. Anyway, it's no matter.
What happened on my 9-09-09 was firstly, I slept in, and later went to lab to do batch fermentation. I quite like my lab sessions this year, because my lab partners are very entertaining, sabo-ing each other (which means Kasun sabos Michelle and me, in essence, and we sabo him back). The lab officer was very amused by our group because most of the time we were giggling non-stop (and the experiment was so boring!). After our fermentation, Kasun and I were supposed to return to check if nothing spills out from our culture, but it turns out that the machine that our batch culture was in wasn't even turned on! Someone must have turned it off by mistake because we all saw that it was when we left. So the two of us forfeited a nice afternoon's nap to come back and check instead. :( Well, I suppose that's better than having to redo everything.
Band's sending two teams to represent hall in the Youth Talent concert. I had to decline my role as a pianist in one of the teams because I have a text in the week we're supposed to do recording, and I already have had to commit to CME practices. It was such a pity, because it looked so exciting! :( I hope I get chances to work together with them again for other occassions. Sigh. I can't seem to spend as much time on my studies as I could because of hall activities, and I can't enjoy my hall activities to the fullest because of studies! I would have so much liked to start writing Phoenix articles now and get interviews in while everyone's memories are still fresh, but unfortunately I have no time to do so. I can only mentally structure the articles when I'm in the bathroom bathing.
We're able to get our new room keys today and we're going to move to our new rooms to blocks 2, 4, and 6 within these two days! Exciting as the prospects may be (new, clean rooms with more places to stack belongings), it's still very troublesome to move my whole room a whole block and two storeys away. I don't like the new doors of the new blocks! Kasun said he thinks he could break them down by smashing hard on them haha. The old doors are so nice and sturdy. But they are all going to be done away with when we move over. Will miss them. I also like the old balcony rails (wooden) which we can just sit at and swing our legs. The new ones are proper iron rails whereby we can't sit on them. I suppose they are safer, but they are so less fun. The roof also looks different. It's all so white and new and safe and less old. I'll miss the old outlook of RH after the complete renovations are over. I'm so glad to be part of RH before rennovations! The new generations of Rafflesians won't know what they missed.
I'm supposed to be working through my Seperations project, but we're kind of stuck. And now I'm a little behind HYSYS lab too. I'm falling apart in all the modules I'm studying! I hope to regain momentum somehow. That's why I'm still awake near 3 pm now haha. My sleeping hours are officially upside down. Just drank some coffee and now the prospects of studying doesn't look so bad after all. Coffee cheers me up a little. Hope I won't be sleepy tomorrow. I actually like going through Thursdays, just that they are so long. Three hours of lecture back to back, HYSYS computer lab right after (another 3 hours). Then I get two hours break which I usually go back to hall to nap and have an hour's tutorial after that.
Oh yes, I'm doing Industrial Attachment next semester after all. I emailed the person in charge and he swapped my grouping for me. I wonder what IA would be like. Heard that it's pretty tiring, but I seriously need some work experience before I go out to work.
OK, back to tutorials :)
What happened on my 9-09-09 was firstly, I slept in, and later went to lab to do batch fermentation. I quite like my lab sessions this year, because my lab partners are very entertaining, sabo-ing each other (which means Kasun sabos Michelle and me, in essence, and we sabo him back). The lab officer was very amused by our group because most of the time we were giggling non-stop (and the experiment was so boring!). After our fermentation, Kasun and I were supposed to return to check if nothing spills out from our culture, but it turns out that the machine that our batch culture was in wasn't even turned on! Someone must have turned it off by mistake because we all saw that it was when we left. So the two of us forfeited a nice afternoon's nap to come back and check instead. :( Well, I suppose that's better than having to redo everything.
Band's sending two teams to represent hall in the Youth Talent concert. I had to decline my role as a pianist in one of the teams because I have a text in the week we're supposed to do recording, and I already have had to commit to CME practices. It was such a pity, because it looked so exciting! :( I hope I get chances to work together with them again for other occassions. Sigh. I can't seem to spend as much time on my studies as I could because of hall activities, and I can't enjoy my hall activities to the fullest because of studies! I would have so much liked to start writing Phoenix articles now and get interviews in while everyone's memories are still fresh, but unfortunately I have no time to do so. I can only mentally structure the articles when I'm in the bathroom bathing.
We're able to get our new room keys today and we're going to move to our new rooms to blocks 2, 4, and 6 within these two days! Exciting as the prospects may be (new, clean rooms with more places to stack belongings), it's still very troublesome to move my whole room a whole block and two storeys away. I don't like the new doors of the new blocks! Kasun said he thinks he could break them down by smashing hard on them haha. The old doors are so nice and sturdy. But they are all going to be done away with when we move over. Will miss them. I also like the old balcony rails (wooden) which we can just sit at and swing our legs. The new ones are proper iron rails whereby we can't sit on them. I suppose they are safer, but they are so less fun. The roof also looks different. It's all so white and new and safe and less old. I'll miss the old outlook of RH after the complete renovations are over. I'm so glad to be part of RH before rennovations! The new generations of Rafflesians won't know what they missed.
I'm supposed to be working through my Seperations project, but we're kind of stuck. And now I'm a little behind HYSYS lab too. I'm falling apart in all the modules I'm studying! I hope to regain momentum somehow. That's why I'm still awake near 3 pm now haha. My sleeping hours are officially upside down. Just drank some coffee and now the prospects of studying doesn't look so bad after all. Coffee cheers me up a little. Hope I won't be sleepy tomorrow. I actually like going through Thursdays, just that they are so long. Three hours of lecture back to back, HYSYS computer lab right after (another 3 hours). Then I get two hours break which I usually go back to hall to nap and have an hour's tutorial after that.
Oh yes, I'm doing Industrial Attachment next semester after all. I emailed the person in charge and he swapped my grouping for me. I wonder what IA would be like. Heard that it's pretty tiring, but I seriously need some work experience before I go out to work.
OK, back to tutorials :)
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