Was singing the song 'Blessed be the Name of the Lord' in church today. There was one line in the song that goes 'He gives and takes away'. A line that was deeply etched into my mind and heart on those days my mum went to heaven last year.
Today is Charissa's birthday, and it's overwhelming to see the number of friends she has who still remember her deeply, and whose life she's still very much a part of.
I received an SMS last Thursday while I was halfway through my bio lab from Matthew saying that he lost his dad to death, following with details of the wake and cremation. My heart just went out to him and his family then. It takes the experience of facing a death personally, to understand what it feels like. There is just this void gap when you lose someone that there's this vacuum in your heart, telling you the person is there no more, and you're so thrown off balance that you just need to fill it with something. With sorrow, with memories? With the assurance of God's promises that there is life after death? With the love of those around you?
I think there is no experience yet in my life parallel to losing the people I love to death. No wonder it is one of the only recorded incidence (at least directly recorded) at which Jesus wept. Yes, there is life after death, but still, death separates and it is very painful. Yet it is still very assuring and comforting to know that death is not the ultimate conquerer.
As I was sitting in the BTC bus on the way to church today, I saw how it was bright and sunny outside on the road. Again nature reminds me that although dust has returned to dust, life around you is still there, and you must somehow learn to move on.
Pastor's message today was about the second coming of Christ, which is very near, any time from now, because almost all the prophecies of his coming are fulfilled at this day and age. And the idea of Christ coming again any time of now, in a blink of an eye, when we are still unprepared, really blows away my heart and mind. It made death seem so insignificant, and that it is just but a passing moment, when suddenly all of us will be swept into eternity, entering eternal grace, or eternal judgement.
I know Christ is true, and His promises are true, because I always see them unfolding, and coming alive, in my own life and in the life of others. But I shudder yet when it comes to the question on whether I am ready or not, when He comes, or even when my own time on earth comes, should it come before the time He comes again. True, I have already accepted Him as my personal Savior. But have I lived my life in the way that it says and proclaims that I am saved by Him? What have I been focusing on?
Just a reminder to self today to focus on things that really matter now, and looking beyond temporary joys and sorrows - and to make life really count, in the Lord. He's been knocking on my heart these days and I've only to find courage to surrender, and respond.