I realized that faith was most of what I could hold on to, after I entered into university life that was full of uncertainty. Whenever things go out of my control, and I can't get anything done on my own, the only reason I could go to sleep at night peacefully was in believing God will sort things out, and then I pray and let go, and fall asleep. It is just like this quote:
Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there. ~Author Unknown
I am a very impatient person. I like to see things out and done. I don't like to wait and slowly toil to get results. I guess God is really putting me through a training these four years to wait in patience.
Somehow I don't believe in the saying: Have faith in yourself, and you will succeed. I guess it's true to some extent - where you have the capability, faith does boost determination and confidence. But sometimes you are not the only deciding factor of your 'success'; environmental circumstances have a large part to play too, and they are out of your control. You can trust in things, you can trust your life in people; but they may still fail you, intentionally or otherwise.
Rather I believe in having faith in a definite assurance, which the eyes of the flesh cannot see, but comes with reason. I believe in having faith in He who never fails me, and most of all, never fails Himself. I believe in having faith in facts, not (probable) empty hopes. Faith is not believing that God can, but knowing that He will.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
I pray for a bigger faith for a higher purpose. I pray that I not only use faith to hold on to One I believe could solve my problems, but more than that; I will hold on to His promise that His will will be done (this is different from my will, which is always wanting my own problems solved and things to get fine and happy quickly).
And I thank God for in this year's walk in faith, I am not alone, but greatly encouraged by others :)
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