These few days I have had a lot of thoughts about work.
I would not have gotten this job;
- if not for a resourceful girl who got three of us out of a very undesirable attachment,
- if not for that work changing my attitude from 'die-die-must-get-IA', to: 'taking modules is better than getting a horrible IA'
- if not for the SP interview that came right before I (almost) accepted another IA in Sing Poly
- if not for my supervisor being kind and who she is, not to take in a better candidate in fearing that she would be disappointed,
- and this supervisor was the one who finally referred me to my current Chemist position.
I am very thankful, because it is not who I am which led me to the job, but who others are, and who God is.
Right from my Year One (Sem II) where my results took this undesirable downhill spiral, I had to depend fully on God to get me 'the right results' and 'the right job'. I had nothing to fall back on: my results always brought me to places and opened doors, but this round, I only had God to open those doors for me, because there's nothing much a 3rd class honors could do to place me in a job I want, particularly in the pharmaceutical manufacturing industry.
Yes, I graduated with a 3rd class honors, and I am very proud of that. Not because of how capable I am pulling through this very competitive course with honors on the belt. Because I know compared to many others, how I have understood less, fought less, and gave up more. But because God chose to use one aspect of my pride (my strong track record of good academic results), whittle it down, and use it to show Himself faithful and strong. And He used it to place me in a place where my interests lie, and where His will lies. He also taught me to be content with my lot, to know that every good thing comes from Him.
I haven't found out His will yet for me in this workplace. But I am very sure this is not all about settling down, getting a stable income, eventually getting a raise/promotion etc. There is something in my new workplace - a role for me, and I want to find out what that is.
This is not the end of insecurity - for life is full of these. While looking ahead and planning out my career path: I realize that there's not so much use of planning ahead for advancement, for the road is long, and full of twists and turns, to places only God knows. It is very exciting. (No wonder they call our Graduation Ceremony the 'Commencement Ceremony'). I can only plan for excellence in the role I'm called to serve, to a good stewardess, willing to learn and love.
If insecurities like these always reinforce the fact that God is ever-faithful, and can ever be depended on for our daily bread and greater things: I pray that more insecurities come. For Singapore makes me so complacent sometimes that these rocky parts of life are required to jolt me awake.
I'm very excited while awaiting 25 July 2011. It will be a new beginning, an opening to many new beginnings. I pray that my eyes be opened to see Him in my work.