Mistborn Trilogy

Stuck in this series now by Brandon Sanderson, but I only read it around certain times of the day. If I can be an Allomancer (or Mistborn), I'd burn pewter all day. According to Sanderson, pewter burners get enhanced strength/energy when they burn, but when used excessively they have what is termed 'pewter drag' (some energy knockout afterwards). Pewter burners heal quicker too, and suffer less pain and injury in battles. That's why they are called Thugs.

I always think Thugs are the most primitive Allomancers, primarily because only brute force is enhanced; but I now feel that it's could be useful for busy days. Since I'm not an Allomancer, and pewter would probably cause me severe digestion problems if ingested - I rely on coffee as an alternative instead. And it causes 'coffee drags' too.

I like Sanderson's writings - the Mistborn Trilogy is as exciting (if not more so), and almost as gripping as the Hunger Games Trilogy. There are two points in his work that I prefer over Hunger Games though: Firstly the element of mystery which I really appreciate in long novels, and secondly, he does not kill so brutally (at least not in the graphic sense), and he does not kill so many characters dear to your heart. Sadly I have a very large philosophical conflict with one of my favorite characters, Sazed. He seems to think that all religions matter because they represent hope. I think he downsized religion to a peanut. I believe in Christianity not merely because I need something to hope for. I believe because it is love, it is truth, it is hope, and it is power. It is a way of life. It is life.

And lately I feel so insecure with people. Not just lately, it's been for months now. I want to be that NUS freshie I was four years ago, or even the intern I was last year. One that was genuinely looking out to meet new people, to learn more about them and to share my life with them. I guess my zest for meeting new people have died out early, and every time I am with people that I'm not very close too, I close up like a clam-shell. I just feel that I'm not interesting enough, not friendly enough, and not loving enough. I'm not myself - there are so many layers of me I've yet to show.

Where's that part of me that enjoys building friendship? Was she shut out long ago by many other friendships that she didn't manage to sustain? Or am I just a loner pretending not to be one all the while?