I haven't been blogging for a long time because my mind has been jumbled up by a massive amount of things. I've decided to mention bits and pieces of them here.
With regards to going home with Jon
Almost two weeks plus ago Jon volunteered to go home with me. Or rather his mum volunteered that he did so that I won't have to go home alone. So we chose the KTM option instead of my usual coach to reach home earlier, and of course KTM had to be late. But we had a lovely time home staying at Ah Gong's house and talked a lot. Of course Daddy, Ah Gong and Po Po had to stuff Jon up and we had to keep reminding them that he was not a Uni student with a constant need to eat any more. Jon's parents came down too, and they finally tried the Longkang Mee which proved to be a bit of a disappointment. Then we went to church too, and all the aunties in church crowded round and said that it's good to be attached, and Jon has put on weight. Altogether it was a lovely trip and I miss Tampin now.
With regards to the Renggit Seafood Trip with Simon
This is my first (and last, I suppose) food trip with Simon (plus two Jons and one Geri) before he goes to the US. It is also, so far, the most expensive meal I've paid for myself. Still, with a lobster mountain and crab mountain, I guess such expenses should be expected. Besides eating we did many things in one day! :) Shopped for Uncle Ivan's Batam ministry, visited the beach (I forgot the name of the resort next to it), walked a bit at Johor Premium Outlet, had dinner and played a few rounds of Dixit. I'm still amused and amazed by the possibilities of Dixit by the way. Super action packed. Also after coming back Jon and I had a short catch-up with Wayne. It's sort of an annual Wayne-back from HK thingy. It was a little too short for a reunion though, but it was better than nothing. I just realized how terribly fast paced HK working life is. 10 days of annual leave not being able to spend all for fear of the workload lying in front of you when you're back!
With regards to work
Yes, I'm rather too wrapped up in my work environment. It's sort of like my favorite conversation topic with Jon now, poor thing. I like my colleagues and routine responsibilities, still. But I can't say I'm the same intern, or even the same new employee that started off happily to work here now. I have become less innocently positive as I have been before. I learned to care less about people's perceptions of me. If you do that too much you tend to get hurt in this way or another. I have learned to tread carefully and sensitively around people's feelings. I have learned, sadly, who are the ones that bravely and honestly stand out for you, and who are the ones that would rather keep quiet to avoid issues from branching out. I have felt what it is like to be suspected of doing something wrong, a suspicion that is there, yet not voiced out due to lack of proof. I have learned to be thankful that eventually my name was cleared, something that may not have fortunately occurred if not for a friend. I have learned to view people more objectively instead of being wrapped up by warm and fuzzy first impressions.
I have learned a lot. But there is still more to learn.
With regards to everything in general
I just realize I'm a person that processes everything in the head. Go into intrinsic depths. Go into immense satisfaction by having attained the understanding of those depths. But nothing comes back out. Nothing much. Except, maybe an output of analysis of those thoughts. Some writings in a blog (this one).
I need knowledge, I need understanding, I need things to get into my head and then work into my heart. But can they work into my hands too? And my feet? Only with the Spirit's strength, they can. But how much am I giving myself to the Spirit?
I just love these two quotes from Pastor Mike's audio sermons:
1. It's not how much you have of the Holy Spirit (you had all of Him when you were saved). It is how much the Holy Spirit has of you!
2. Every time you are tempted, say, "God, thank you for giving me a chance to prove to You I love You." (James 1:12)
Please Dear God, work these thoughts from my head, to my heart, and let them be seen through my hands and feet.
With regards to work
Yes, I'm rather too wrapped up in my work environment. It's sort of like my favorite conversation topic with Jon now, poor thing. I like my colleagues and routine responsibilities, still. But I can't say I'm the same intern, or even the same new employee that started off happily to work here now. I have become less innocently positive as I have been before. I learned to care less about people's perceptions of me. If you do that too much you tend to get hurt in this way or another. I have learned to tread carefully and sensitively around people's feelings. I have learned, sadly, who are the ones that bravely and honestly stand out for you, and who are the ones that would rather keep quiet to avoid issues from branching out. I have felt what it is like to be suspected of doing something wrong, a suspicion that is there, yet not voiced out due to lack of proof. I have learned to be thankful that eventually my name was cleared, something that may not have fortunately occurred if not for a friend. I have learned to view people more objectively instead of being wrapped up by warm and fuzzy first impressions.
I have learned a lot. But there is still more to learn.
With regards to everything in general
I just realize I'm a person that processes everything in the head. Go into intrinsic depths. Go into immense satisfaction by having attained the understanding of those depths. But nothing comes back out. Nothing much. Except, maybe an output of analysis of those thoughts. Some writings in a blog (this one).
I need knowledge, I need understanding, I need things to get into my head and then work into my heart. But can they work into my hands too? And my feet? Only with the Spirit's strength, they can. But how much am I giving myself to the Spirit?
I just love these two quotes from Pastor Mike's audio sermons:
1. It's not how much you have of the Holy Spirit (you had all of Him when you were saved). It is how much the Holy Spirit has of you!
2. Every time you are tempted, say, "God, thank you for giving me a chance to prove to You I love You." (James 1:12)
Please Dear God, work these thoughts from my head, to my heart, and let them be seen through my hands and feet.
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