A loss

I dropped my iPhone 5 somewhere and couldn't find it again yesterday. Wouldn't go through the details but now I'm pretty sure it's picked up already cz it's been turned off. And most likely it's bye bye forever. Add that to the tonne of mistakes I've been making at work the past week and finally an official deviation discovered yesterday, it's like the reverse of icing on the cake.

To be honest I am very shocked at my reaction after losing the phone, especially during the first few hours. I started to panic (which is normal), then called everyone around the world that could possibly help me wake poor Jon up, and had people logging in case IDs for me and stuff. Then when I slowly explained the whole thing to Andrew and Jon, I felt tears brimming in my eyes. It was then that I was both surprised and shocked. Why am I even crying over a phone? It's expensive and it's beautiful, and it was an apple of my eye. When I teared I remember missing it's white plastic cover, my screen saver, the sense of touch when I hold it, putting it back into it's pouch, putting it on my table next to me at work, etc. etc. etc. Yeah and the weirder thing was Jon said he also wanted to cry too cz he missed my phone as well.

Since when did I let my phone takeover such an emotional part of my life? I would have understood if I cried if I lost say an engagement ring, or NT or Hunny or Dee Dee. Or my keys, ID, or passport! But a phone is something that is replaceable (albeit it will burn a hole in my pocket some more just for a downgrade), impersonal (data will be retrieved), and only slightly inconvenient (substitute phone number available, internet available at home)And ya I was sad because I didn't get to go home today too.

Anyway it's a bright red alert signal for me to stop and think if I've been too attached to this phone for it's beauty and (relative) uniqueness. If I've been too reliant on it to fill my time and get things done for me. So much that when I just lose it, such a big part of myself is at a loss.

Still, thank God for showing me so much grace today. For my dear colleague Brenda who first phoned up everyone else, and called the cab company and called the company so many times all on her own initiative to fix up everything officially. (And hence, having to sleep late to boot). For Andrew who chatted with me to calm me down and for trying to call my housemates. For Jon thinking of all sorts of remedy for me to replace my phone and providing comfort, letting my dad know and getting a temp phone out. For my team leader who took up a tremendous amount of work so that I could settle down after the tragedy to mope and rant on FB and get things straightened out; and then despite being so tired, tried to comfort me through the shift. For Jerome who lent me his own pre-paid SIM card. For Campus-ers whom I know are supporting me through prayer even though I can't see their messages on Whatsapp anymore, I trust their faithfulness. For words of comfort and words of concern from my sister and friends.

Seriously if not for all these people I would just have fainted and MC-d at work. And I can't do that because it's a two man team that night shift meaning if one of us is down, nothing can go on at all (you need and analyst and a reviewer for all tests). So despite being 'incapacitated' I still managed to cover a considerable amount of work during shift. Thank God for presence of mind.

Some things just can't be bought with money, and fortunately, they are the things that I did not lose. The past week I've been moping about some people I've lost. This day showed me that many still love me. And God's own promise in Romans 8:28 kept floating in my mind throughout the whole ordeal, as well as His command to rejoice, always. By the end of the morning I was able to thank Him for this chance to go through this so that I could rejoice just for His sufficient grace, and for the fact that He allowed this to happen and He is in control. The question that kept on being pressed to me now was 'where is your testimony'?

I did far from well. But there's always sufficient grace for me to go on. Thank God.