The days are passing quite monotonously. Well, almost but not quite. I almost don't feel like blogging, but it's a habit I'll like to keep up. So here goes :)
Yesterday we had worship practice - combined by youth, campus and acts. Actually the majority there were the youths. There were very few from campus too. in fact I was the only one from campus in the choir. There was one ex-Acts member there too, Alanie. Other than her, no one from Acts was in Choir. I guess it was a weekday and people were tired from work.
I'm a person of inertia, and it's hard for me to up and about unless I really want to. Even walking from Block 5 to Comm hall is some kind of chore if I have nothing to do there. So I wasn't like 100% raring to go for worship practice. But then I went, and it God was good to me. In fact I took the worship with me home and the songs were still ringing in my ears when I was in bed. Especially the song Offering. I realized that I had been giving God shallow offerings everyday, through devo and worship. And I think He's worth so much more than that.
I like worship. I remember just the day when I was going home I was helping Ms Chia with some songs, and they realized that I wasn't playing piano for church over here in Singapore. (But I have played for Campus though, twice I think). Last time I sang with the Choir once when I was in youth and campus.
Last time when I was still in secondary school, I was pianist for our youth choir. And I loved to play. I always think the best place to be in the choir was to be behind the piano when people are out there singing in front. And true, you're always not in the pictures when people take pictures of the Choir team, and no once can see your face, or even notice much of your music either. But back then every song was a challenge - they had to be unique, they had to be played differently, and I try to make repetitions sound different. The piano was the only source of music - no drums, no e-guitars, not even the e-piano to cover it. Those are nice additions, but not when people are not in sync. That's why usually I prefer playing on my own more.
I always think the best place for me is behind the piano, and now I'm singing in the Choir. And I realize that I love it too.
Back in Tampin I'm not exactly known for being able to sing :) There are always this batch of 'singers' who always backup those in front. I suppose my ability to sing is overshadowed by my ability to play. After all you can't always serve in two things at the same time. And it's fair because everyone gets to serve in one way or other. I never knew I had a good pitch, and a nice voice, till I came to NUS. (I hope this is not bragging.) I think Choir training in Raffles Hall brought it out. It made me like singing too. In a choir, not on my own.
I think God always equips me in the ways I need to serve him. I realize that my voice somehow sounds much better when I'm in Singapore and when I need to sing, as compared to the times when I come home. It always goes away when I'm at home - or let's say, becomes less inferior. And in contrast, I always play best when I'm playing in worship - not when I'm fooling around, or just practicing away in that old piano at home. Somehow it just comes. And I thank God for always supplying what I need at the right time. Just enough for Him to use, not too much that I brag, nor too little that I do have enough.
Thank God for letting us worship Him! I always like the way one pastor described worship. He said that many people come to worship desiring to be fulfilled or get something from worship. They say things like 'oh, I received so much from worship today!' But actually, worship is an act of giving! It's giving everything to God, our praises, our obedience, our commitments, surrendering. You got to worship to give, not receive. But we are made to worship, so that's why we love to worship God :) Many people come to worship to take away, not to give.
I wonder in the coming semester I would be able to give more in my worship. Will pray about it. :)